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Messages - paulm

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General Discussion / Seasons Greetings
« on: December 16, 2014, 10:19:04 PM »
Hello Everyone. I would like to extend to each and everyone of you Seasons Greetings and I hope that you all have a safe holiday season. I know that for many of you this holiday season will be pretty bleak and that is unfortunate. I've been through many holiday seasons that  I didn't know how I was going to make it even one more day. I've been broke, alone, depressed, frustrated and, well let's just say that there wasn't a lot to be merry about. 

 However things change and there is hope. I can't say that I'm not poor and I certainly have enough illnesses to keep the medical system broke for a few more years, but all of that doesn't matter, because I'm pretty happy these days.

  I hope that in 2015 you will all find a way to enjoy your lives in at least some small way and then be able to build from there. Best wishes to everyone for the holiday season. Take Care. paul m


General Discussion / Re: Introduction
« on: December 16, 2014, 10:04:12 PM »
Hello Momfeelinglost. Very well put. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« on: December 13, 2014, 08:59:38 PM »
Hello JennyRN and Dragonfly. I can sympathize with you both.

  I don't have a lot of problems getting through the actual Christmas part. I have never been overly excited about Christmas(at least since I was a little kid), but I really have to pace myself in the lead up to Christmas.

 It's really easy for me to over do it and either become irritable or exhausted or both. I'm pretty good at socializing, but I find it tough at Christmas when there are just so many events that I feel compelled to take part in. The fact that some of that socializing is done with people that I don't necessarily like doesn't help either. (They probably don't like me either LOL)

 Unlike you Dragonfly, I have the opposite problem in Dec, my sugar levels tend to get too high and that isn't good either, but I just can't seem to resist all of the temptations that abound around Christmas.

 Over time I've learned a lot about how to get through the Christmas season without something major going wrong(Doesn't always work LOL).  My wife did remark just the other day that my mood seemed to be getting more irritable. So I will have to try and make some adjustments. 

 I hope that you both can find a way to enjoy your Christmas. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Doctor's believing me
« on: December 13, 2014, 08:31:45 PM »
Hello K9sedona. I'm glad that you week is going better. You may already know all of the following, but in case you don't, it can be a bit of a mess to figure out.

 Unfortunately doctors are allowed to arbitarily decide if someone should drive or not. The doc doesn't actually suspend your lic the MTO does that. However the MTO does rely heavily on what the doctor said in the records. Doctors are required by law to write a letter if they feel that you are not safe to drive, but some docs, especially if you have ticked them off, do so more readily than other doctors.

 You should have gotten a letter from the MTO when you first had your D/L suspended. You are entitled to appeal that suspension. That cost  $100 plus the cost of any medical records or physical exams that you may need to provide to convince the MTO that you are safe to drive.

 In some cases (some mental illness, suspected alzhemiers, heart conditions etc) the MTO may ask you to undergo a full evaluation and that's where it gets really expensive.($500-800). However a lot depends on what your existing doc has to say about your ability to drive safely.  You can find out more at 

 You may get lucky, sometimes the doctor doesn't say much except for the fact that you have condition ABC and you shouldn't drive. A new doctor can easily counteract that.  Good Luck with everything. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Introduction
« on: December 09, 2014, 10:18:16 PM »
Hello CanadianEm. Believe me you are not the only one suffering from an addiction. I forget the exact figures, but something like 20% of people with a mental illness will have a substance abuse problem as well. (source CAMH)  For people with depression it is often higher and for people with bipolar disorder it runs about 50% will have an substance abuse problem.

 I never had an addiction problem, but for many yrs I self treated my social anxiety problems by over drinking at social events.

 In regards to your psychiatric meds losing their effectiveness. That i quite true, however if you were told that it happens every couple of yrs, then you were misinformed. It may occur in 6 mths or it may take a lifetime, and nobody is sure why. So if the medication is working for you, keep on using it.

 The Mayo clinic has a good article on this problem     Take Care. paul m


General Discussion / Re: Started taking Lipitor, cholesterol medication...
« on: December 09, 2014, 10:03:57 PM »
Hello Peter. I'm glad that you are mobile. Hopefully you will make a speedy recovery. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Doctor's believing me
« on: December 09, 2014, 09:53:56 PM »
Hello K9sedonna. I'm glad that you at least think there is some hope. Feeling hopeless is one of the things that I hated most whenever I had bouts of depression. Unfortunately depression can make us feel hopeless. Now whenever I get depressed I try and remember that there will be better days ahead.  I hope that you have many better days ahead.

 In regards to support groups most of the ones in T.O. are ran by the MDAO and are located at Yonge and Eglington.  To find out more, click on   or you can phone for more info Tel: (416 )486-8046

 The MDAO runs groups at a variety of times so you can pick which one may be best for you.

 I haven't attended any peer support groups in T.O., but I've attended many around the province that were affiliated with the MDAO and they were all good. Some I liked a bit better than others, but that is just a matter of personal choice. 

 You can also find a lot of resources by going to the MDAO's home page, just click on  If you scroll down the page some you will find where you also sign up for a free newsletter.

 Good Luck getting your records. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Doctor's believing me
« on: December 08, 2014, 01:09:07 AM »
Hello K9sedona and welcome to the forum. ER's aren't my favourite place either and I have had problems convincing them that my problems were real whether they were mental and/or physical. Unfortunately the ER is often our only choice.

 While I don't like the treatment that I often get, at least I know that I'm relatively safe at the ER. The ER cannot refuse to have you seen by at least a nurse if you do say that you are actively suicidal and are going to commit suicide now.

 Your family doc would have been notified that you were admitted to the ER, your condition at the time and the reason why you went to the ER.

 If you are still feeling suicidal I would suggest that you go to the ER, call an ambulance if you have to. (just dial 911)

 I don't know where you live, but if there is a crisis line in your area you may want to call them to discuss your problems. Usually crisis lines are listed at the front of the phone book or you can try the Ontario Mental Health Helpline 1-866-531-2600, they can provide you with local distress and crisis line services as well as other services that may be helpful.

 In the meantime, talk to your wife about your problems and what you can do together to solve them. She did stay at home with you , so she must care. Perhaps two heads looking for a solution will find one. In the meantime, please feel free to ask questions on here, to answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out some of life's frustrations. Take Care. paul m

Family, Friends, and Supporters / Re: 14 year old with social anxiety
« on: December 08, 2014, 12:42:25 AM »
Hello Zabava.I can understand your worry and concern.It's really tough dealing with a child that you can see going downhill and there seems little that you can do about it.   Unfortunately most of us on the forum are unqualified to give you really good advice on this matter. Dealing with Teens and mood disorders is difficult for even trained professionals.  (My son had a mood disorder as a teen and I know it can be difficult to get them to accept therapy). 

 I can give you some generalities. First most medications don't always work the same on a young person as they do on someone older 2) If she has been on cipralex for at least 60 days and there has been no improvement it's time to have a discussion with her doctor about whether or not 10mg cipralex is the right drug or dosage.

 Often a medication will work for one person and have no effect on the next person, so it's important to keep the doctor informed if you think it's not working.

3)Often as our anxieties increase so does our unwillingness to meet people we know, much less strangers in a new setting. Our anxieties can literally paralyze us, as well as giving us very physical symptoms like stomach problems and head aches.

 Although you probably have the power to force your daughter to attend therapy, it's been my experience that when something is forced on us, we may attend, but we rebel and don't pay much attention.

 Has her medical doctor ruled out other sources of her problems? That may sound silly, but our bodies have a variety of glands and if one of them isn't working properly that could explain some of her problems. Only a very complete physical and a complete blood work up can really tell if everything is working as should.

 The MDAO has an excellent guide on Helping Someone With a Mood Disorder. You can access it at

 At the bottom of that page you will see a link to F.A.M.E. (Family Association for Mental Health Everywhere.) You might want to check out their website too.

  The guide may seem overly simple, but it does contain a lot of good advice.

 As Daniel F has suggested earlier you may want to contact the MDAO about their programs and also about their peer support groups for people like yourself.  You can also find out more about these groups  at

 Good Luck and please keep posting. You may not instant answers here, but we will try our best to support you as you struggle with a loved ones mental illness. Take Care. paul m


General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 05, 2014, 12:47:59 AM »
Hello Dragonfly. SAD lamps don't work for me either. For a lot of people with bipolar(not all) it seems that the success rate of SAD lamps is less. Take Care. paul m

Hello CanadianEM.  If the only reason why you DL was revoked was for medical reasons you shouldn't have to go to court as a first step. You can file an appeal with the MTO. It still costs money, but not as much as going to court. The MTO will want proof that you are safe to be driving. More info can be found at the website that I have listed below. Take Care. paul m P.S. the procedure is a major pain in the butt and takes forever.

 Hello Everyone. I'd just like to rant abit about the MTO. It is the law that if a doctor feels that a person would be a hazard driving a car then they must report that person to the MTO and the MTO then decides whether or not to suspend the drivers lic.

 According to the way the rule is written literally anyone who has had major surgery plus a lot of other things should have their lic suspended. However it never seems to work that way. But I've seen people who were given an antipsychotic at the hospital, suddenly deprived of a D/L. I've even seen people who were suicidal deprived of their D/L after an over zealous doc decided that they might run their car into someone. In some places they have a method to temporarily suspend your D/L, rather than the all or nothing here in Ontario.

 It ticks me off to know that if I end up in the ER for a physical problem and I tic off the doc, then I could lose my lic. if the doc reports that I'm not mentally stable. (Not that any doctor would file a report like that just because you called him an a**hole.) Meanwhile the guy who has had 3 heart attacks , smokes like a chimney and is 100 lbs overweight never gets reported to the MTO . I mean it's not like that person may have a 4th one while driving or anything.  OK my rant is over. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Praise for a Social Organization
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:29:59 PM »
Hello Peace. Thx for sharing your story with us. Take Care. paul m

 Hello CanadianEm. Groups and couselling vary and what is a perfect for one person, the next person may not like. However it is a very bad group that judges people and they are rare. More often they may run out of space and have to limit your sessions or some groups can be kind of clickish. However it doesn't usually cost anything to try and if you don't like it, then move on the next one. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: dermatology/slap the Dr. and others around....LOL
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:21:51 PM »
Hello Peter. I'm glad that your skin is OK. In regards to what is paid for by OHIP etc, usually the docs want their fee right at the time of service. So if you didn't have to pay,you should be ok. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: Introduction
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:18:51 PM »
Hello CanadianEm I can't speak for anyone else, but for a long time I took so much flack over my mood that I just hid my emotions.

Example. Why aren't you going to school/work/etc today? Which if I was honest and said "I just have no energy, I feel too sad, etc etc" brought up the next area of conflict  Why don't you have any energy, or you have to go , or just shake it off or your just lazy etc.  Those criticism could come from family, friends even doctors.

 So I learned at a young age to lie about how I felt and in the process I started hiding my emotions. When people are constantly judging us or painting us as failures, it's hard to show emotions as we just have too much hurt bundled up inside. (at least for me)

 Good to hear to you are trying to work through everything. There used to be a well used saying kicking around that we used a lot. "You are not alone" took me a long time to realize that was true. You aren't alone either. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:03:02 PM »
Hello CanadianEm. Th only quick changes that ever happened to me were bad ones LOL.

 One of my pet peeves when I do get a chance to argue with the medical profession is that nobody ever deals us that some things may take a long time and the longer you have been ill, the longer it takes to get better.

 I know that both statements are generalities, but generally speaking LOL.

 Good for you getting it out. I hope that it helps you a lot. Take Care. paul m

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 01, 2014, 10:47:43 PM »
Hello CanadianEm.  Good luck trying to find that SAD Lamp. I always seem to think I put something one place and eventually find it somewhere else.

 Or else I catch the dreaded tomorrow disease. "I'll look for that tomorrow" which is usually followed by the "I never got round to it", which is then followed by the by " what is wrong with me" guilt trip. LOL.

 Just kidding, but I found that often as I worked on my recovery I was my own worse enemy. I shouldn't have been, as I now know that depression makes me put off doing things and the the longer I put off doing something the more guilty I feel, and the more guilty I feel the more depressed I got. Being a little older these days I know enough about myself to know that some days(weeks) I have to just roll with the punches. Take Care. paul m

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