Hello Dragonfly. Some behaviours we have to accept as we age or are disabled by mishap or illness, however that doesn't always mean that we have to completely accept our new plight.
In regards to your garden, you may no longer be able to keep it looking like it once did and I'm sure that is frustrating, but perhaps you can try researching different ways to garden.
Neither my wife nor I can garden very well these days, but after studying some I found that by putting wood chips down you can eliminate a lot of weeding and they help the soil to retain moisture, they even come in decorative colours. We also plant more bushy plants, like sweet peas and Flock Flowers that come up every yr and fewer plants that have to be replanted. If you can have your son build you a trestle ,morning glories are nice and once they start yo grow they tend to shade out the weeds and they self seed so all you have to do is hook the stringers onto the trestle once they get going.
However I suspect that your post is more about frustrations, having a difficult time during periods of your life and lost opportunities in general than about flowers. Plus of course you are probably lamenting the lack of enjoyment and relaxation that you used to get by tending to your garden on a daily basis.
Everyone has some wish that things had gone differently at some time during their life, however as you know we cannot change the past. We can regret it and mourn the past, but we can't change it. There are a zillion things that I wished that either had gone differently in my past and/or that I had done differently, but I can't change that.
I can look at things differently though and realize that as bad as my life was at times, it wasn't as bad as some people's. I can also try and alter my present so that I can enjoy it more. I won't always be successful , but I do try.
I'm sure that you try too. Perhaps you should try and talk to your doctor again about your dark moods and your lack of energy. The doc may tell you that you are getting older. but dark moods and lack of energy are certainly two symptoms of depression. Having unpleasant dreams can also be symptomatic of the onset of many illnesses or they can be episodes of post traumatic stress coming to the surface , as can lack of energy and dark moods.
Plus there is nothing wrong with us venting out some of our frustrations, both past and present. Sometimes it's even good for us. I hope that you find a way to feel better again. Take Care. paul m.
P.S. to all. The phrase radical acceptance is not new, although it is popping up again. As Peter said it was(is) used as part of DBT which was developed in the 80's . The term may date from the 80's , but the Buddhist have been using the basic concept since the 8th century. The simplest explanation of the term radical acceptance that I know of was a prayer from the 1930's era
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
A modified version of the above has been used by AA since the 50's.
Three simple lines, very difficult to implement.