MDAO Forum

Support for People with Mood Disorders => General Discussion => Topic started by: Pleeb on April 04, 2016, 12:28:47 AM

Title: New hoarding/clutter support group at MDAO.
Post by: Pleeb on April 04, 2016, 12:28:47 AM (

I may go.  I'm more of a clutterer than hoarder, and used to be worse.

When I was working, I would often lose documents ON my desk.   :-[  After not finding it ON my desk, I would ask my wonderful work neighbour for her copy.

Title: Re: New hoarding/clutter support group at MDAO.
Post by: Dragonfly on April 04, 2016, 08:05:53 PM
Hi Peter,

My youngest daughter is a hoarder. She can barely get to her bed in her room for all the stuff she has. Thank heavens she doesn't live with me anymore. She lives with her oldest sister in a townhouse they bought together.

I have talked to her about it. She won't admit to it. When my oldest daughter and I talk to her about getting rid of something she has a fit. Neither one of us knows what to do about it. I guess it really isn't my business. This hoarding spills over into the third bedroom and rec room that they have. The living room and kitchen are fine.

It drives my oldest daughter nuts. She babies her younger sister though. I don't think I would put up with it although when she lived at home she was starting to hoard but not like now.

Anyone got any solutions.

Title: Re: New hoarding/clutter support group at MDAO.
Post by: paulm on April 06, 2016, 03:00:31 AM
Hello Dragonfly. One of the more common ways to treat hoarding is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Unfortunately that only works if the hoarder admits that they have a problem.   Other than that I don't know a lot about cures. I do know a little about hoarding. Like all of my writing, it may or may not be helpful, but if you read it with a bit of a smile on your face, you may find a little humour in it.   I have included a website that does address some ways to discuss hoarding with a loved one.

 Hoarding can involve a lot of different items or just some specific items. For example I don't know how many women that I have known that have a zillion recipes filed away that they will never use or boxes of yarn that will never be knitted. ( for guys I could include hoarded items like old magazines, articles on repairing items and socks with a hole in them LOL) None of these people would be considered hoarders, but of course they are (or I am) .

 So sometimes it is not the fact that a person is a hoarder but it's the depth of their hoarding that comes to people's attention. Space also is a factor. An old friend of mine was never consider a hoarder. His home was always neat and tidy with no clutter. When he passed on, his family discovered that in his bush he had built 6 rough barn like structures that were absolutely filled with junk. It took them weeks to take everything to the dump. While he was alive nobody considered him a hoarder, because he had the space and kept it out of sight. But yrs of accumulated old tractors, car parts, clothing and other junk said otherwise.

 Hoarding by a family member or a friend can certainly be irritating , but like many other things it may not be harmful unless it creates health or fire and safety problems.   However as most serious hoarders tend to become worse as they get older I can understand your concern about your daughters hoarding.  Especially if there are fire or health concerns.  Electrical fires can be started when hoarding covers up and then over time wears electrical cords. Any fire that gets started can be especially hard to put out as the fire can keep going under thick layers of junk.  Mould can also be a worry if food or dampness is involved. 

 Unfortunately that doesn't answer your question Dragonfly, perhaps someone else has some better ideas. In the meantime you can try reading at . This article has some good tips. You might also want to read    for background info. Take Care. paul m

p.s. to Peter. I tend to be a clutterer too.
Title: Re: New hoarding/clutter support group at MDAO.
Post by: Dragonfly on April 11, 2016, 09:58:57 PM
Sorry Paul about not replying to your post about hoarding.

Unfortunately I don't think my daughter will admit that she has a problem. Thank you for the information though. You never know maybe some day it will fizz on her.

Title: Re: New hoarding/clutter support group at MDAO.
Post by: paulm on April 12, 2016, 03:16:29 AM
Hello Dragonfly. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that she might admit that she has a problem. In fact it would be rare if she did. I think that in the second article it mentions just how frustrating it is for fire fighters and mental health teams to get a clutterer to change their minds and habits.  I think they also mentioned that hoarders of start around the age of 13 and you had mentioned that she started young.

 In the first article , about 3/4's of the way down the page, there is a list of do's and don't for when telling with a hoarder.

 However I fully agree that she won't change and that it would annoy me too. You could call in the fire dept if it's a fire hazard, but then she probably would never talk to you again. 

 I understand that this is a tough situation for you, good luck with it . Take Care.paul m