MDAO Forum

Support for People with Mood Disorders => General Discussion => Topic started by: k9sedona on December 06, 2014, 06:36:21 pm

Title: Doctor's believing me
Post by: k9sedona on December 06, 2014, 06:36:21 pm
(So, I'm not making this up - you can't make this much up!) This time last year I made a serious an attempt to end my life. Failed in my attempt to get to the river and ended up in the hospital. But after the first and only pdoc (who laughed that my blood alcohol level was so high) no one talked to me - like seriously, not a single soul asked how I was doing or inquired into my state. One nurse said she was going to but then went onto another task and never returned. My family doc told my wife that "I wasn't serious", that I was "seeking attention". Sure as hell was real for me.... She then ceased taking my calls at her office. I didn't know this until about a month ago and that explained why I couldn't get to her (for non-psych issues). Now I suspect that is part of my chart and that ER's are no longer a resource.

Last night I found myself in the same state and curled up under a table in the basement. I commented to my wife this morning that maybe I should go to the ER, that I wasn't feeling safe at all and she discouraged that but did spend the day with me. If I'm alone and not doing well, shouldn't the ER be a resource?

Anyone else with problems convincing professionals that you ARE serious?
Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: paulm on December 08, 2014, 01:09:07 am
Hello K9sedona and welcome to the forum. ER's aren't my favourite place either and I have had problems convincing them that my problems were real whether they were mental and/or physical. Unfortunately the ER is often our only choice.

 While I don't like the treatment that I often get, at least I know that I'm relatively safe at the ER. The ER cannot refuse to have you seen by at least a nurse if you do say that you are actively suicidal and are going to commit suicide now.

 Your family doc would have been notified that you were admitted to the ER, your condition at the time and the reason why you went to the ER.

 If you are still feeling suicidal I would suggest that you go to the ER, call an ambulance if you have to. (just dial 911)

 I don't know where you live, but if there is a crisis line in your area you may want to call them to discuss your problems. Usually crisis lines are listed at the front of the phone book or you can try the Ontario Mental Health Helpline 1-866-531-2600, they can provide you with local distress and crisis line services as well as other services that may be helpful.

 In the meantime, talk to your wife about your problems and what you can do together to solve them. She did stay at home with you , so she must care. Perhaps two heads looking for a solution will find one. In the meantime, please feel free to ask questions on here, to answer other people's questions and/or use the forum to vent out some of life's frustrations. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: Daniel F on December 08, 2014, 09:49:55 am
There is nothing more invalidating that someone, especially someone in a position of power when one is in an extremely vulnerable state, saying: "You are making this up. I don't believe you." They might as well say, "I don't acknowledge your experience. Your reality is invalid," because that's basically what they're saying.

If that my was doctor, I'd probably a) find a new doctor and b) report them to the College of Physicians and Surgeons for their inappropriate conduct. (I'm not telling you to do this - this is just what I think I would do).

I believe what you're reporting is a form of systemic discrimination against people with mental health issues by the healthcare system, and unfortunately it's not all that uncommon.

My suggestion is to find good peer support and/or a good therapist in your area (if you can afford one, or if you have insurance coverage, or can find one covered by OHIP). If you want help finding one in your region, let us know what region you're in and we will do our best to help.

For what it's worth, there are people who care, want you to get better, and are holding hope for your recovery.
Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: k9sedona on December 09, 2014, 07:58:46 pm
Thanks... I actually left Ottawa and that doctor and returned to TO in July She hasn't sent my records yet (5 months of requesting so far) and once I hear from the Privacy Commission, any day now, I will report to the College.

I've been up more than half the day today. Better than the last 5. Maybe there's some hope. Are there support groups in TO that are decent? We live at St. Clair and Jane... Can TTC it of course... Depression is the big issue...

Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: paulm on December 09, 2014, 09:53:56 pm
Hello K9sedonna. I'm glad that you at least think there is some hope. Feeling hopeless is one of the things that I hated most whenever I had bouts of depression. Unfortunately depression can make us feel hopeless. Now whenever I get depressed I try and remember that there will be better days ahead.  I hope that you have many better days ahead.

 In regards to support groups most of the ones in T.O. are ran by the MDAO and are located at Yonge and Eglington.  To find out more, click on   or you can phone for more info Tel: (416 )486-8046

 The MDAO runs groups at a variety of times so you can pick which one may be best for you.

 I haven't attended any peer support groups in T.O., but I've attended many around the province that were affiliated with the MDAO and they were all good. Some I liked a bit better than others, but that is just a matter of personal choice. 

 You can also find a lot of resources by going to the MDAO's home page, just click on  If you scroll down the page some you will find where you also sign up for a free newsletter.

 Good Luck getting your records. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: k9sedona on December 12, 2014, 03:17:43 pm

There has been an interesting development with my GP in Ottawa who without my knowledge, wrote to the MOT stating I should not be driving and that is why my license was suspended. The MTO are happy to forward those medical records to me so I'll be able to get to the bottom of this. Given this, I've decided I do not want my new GP to have my old records. Which I'd have to pay her to transfer them anyway. (I wonder how much she'd charge per key stroke...) Who knows what is in those records.

Consequently, now that I have acquired some control of my situation again, my mood has jumped and I feel excellent! Looking forward to next week and potential developments!

Best to us all!

Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: paulm on December 13, 2014, 08:31:45 pm
Hello K9sedona. I'm glad that you week is going better. You may already know all of the following, but in case you don't, it can be a bit of a mess to figure out.

 Unfortunately doctors are allowed to arbitarily decide if someone should drive or not. The doc doesn't actually suspend your lic the MTO does that. However the MTO does rely heavily on what the doctor said in the records. Doctors are required by law to write a letter if they feel that you are not safe to drive, but some docs, especially if you have ticked them off, do so more readily than other doctors.

 You should have gotten a letter from the MTO when you first had your D/L suspended. You are entitled to appeal that suspension. That cost  $100 plus the cost of any medical records or physical exams that you may need to provide to convince the MTO that you are safe to drive.

 In some cases (some mental illness, suspected alzhemiers, heart conditions etc) the MTO may ask you to undergo a full evaluation and that's where it gets really expensive.($500-800). However a lot depends on what your existing doc has to say about your ability to drive safely.  You can find out more at 

 You may get lucky, sometimes the doctor doesn't say much except for the fact that you have condition ABC and you shouldn't drive. A new doctor can easily counteract that.  Good Luck with everything. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: k9sedona on December 20, 2014, 10:05:33 pm
Wow Paul. I didn't know about the appeal piece so thank you for the head' up.

My depression bottomed out last Monday and I've been at CAMH ever since. My meds are finally going to be reviewed and some support provided while here and then in outpatients. Bipolar is being tossed around and before, I'd have rejected that. But these past 2-3 months have just been nuts. So we'll see. Does it happen quickly I wonder? Like, I can be high as a kite one hour and in the pit in the next. At any rate, its exhausting. But here I am safe and haven't felt suicidal all day!

Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: Dragonfly on December 20, 2014, 10:23:57 pm

I am glad that you are safe and that your meds are going to be reviewed and you have support.

I suffer from bipolar II. I have never experienced being high and then low in a very short period of time. I have heard from others that this is possible.

Don't ever give up. It isn't always easy but it is worth it.

Title: Re: Doctor's believing me
Post by: paulm on December 20, 2014, 11:07:33 pm
Hello K9sedona.  I'm glad that you are safe.  What follows is just some info on bipolar, I am in no way trying to say that you have it. That's your doctors job.

 Trying to decide whether or not someone has bipolar or not can be a little tricky to say the least. Because there are so many different forms of bipolar it is sometimes difficult to describe. You may know all of the below, but in case that you don't, I'll give you a bit of a primer on the various types of bipolar and what subtypes there may be and what can affect bipolar.  The Mayo Clinic has one of the best primers around on bipolar, it causes etc. :

 It is worth the read, even if for no other reason just to convince yourself that you do or do not have bipolar and to be able to talk more knowledgably with your doctors.

 There are 4 official types of bipolar: Bipolar 1, Bipolar 2, Cyclothymia and Bipolar NOS (NOS, means, Not Otherwise Specified ,which just means that a person has some of the symptoms of bipolar but not them all.

Cyclothymia is characterized by numerous mood swings, with periods of hypomanic symptoms that do not meet criteria for a major hypomanic episode, alternating with periods of mild or moderate symptoms of depression that do not meet criteria for a major depressive episode.

 It's been my experience that many of the 4 different types have blended together at some point in my life.

 To add to the confusion there are mixed states,where you have some depressive symptoms and some mania symptoms. For example you may be extremely tired all the time (depressive symptom) but you can't go to sleep because your mind is racing all of the time (mania symptom).  There is also rapid and ultra rapid cycling and ultradian cycling. Rapid cycling means that you have 4 or more mood swings in a year, ultra rapid means that your mood may swing from day to day and ultradian means you can have mood cycles from hr to hr or even from minute to minute.

 Many people have underlying bipolar that never surfaces or becomes a problem unless something aggravates the condition.

 What can aggravate an otherwise dormant bipolar.  Substance abuse, lousy living conditions(really broke, lousy home life or marriage, a lot of stress at work etc)

 However one of the known big factors that can cause really rapid mood swings are some antidepressants. About 30% of the people with bipolar will react badly if they also take antidepressants(that is the antidepressant may make them manic or rapid cycle). For people like myself, antidepressants are just poison. The only one that I can even tolerate for a short time is wellbutrin and after about 6 wks it leaves me heading manic.  The rest immediately make me manic or make me really rapid cycle. 

 As well bipolar can be a progressive illness, that is it can start out very slowly and get worse over time. Unfortunately many doctors peg a person with one illness and never look again or review the persons file to see if depression was the original diagnosis and now it should be bipolar. It still takes an unbelievable 5-6 yrs to get a correct diagnosis of bipolar correct.

 However what ever is wrong with you I hope that the doctors can find a simple and effective remedy. Get Well Soon. Take Care. paul m