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Messages - GrizzlyMantooth

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General Discussion / Re: I want revenge
« on: August 17, 2015, 10:12:47 pm »
Hey Dragonfly,

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time lately. I think "losers" as a term to describe people you dislike is probably one of the nicest terms there is...maybe your ppl are just trying to change your negative thinking in general and that includes other people? I get angry all the time at random people doing stupid stuff and have to bite my cheek hard.

As far as mental techniques go, I'm not really sure if I have anything that has worked to calm a specific qualm I have with someone. I try relaxation techniques and meditate, and sometimes that helps calms my nerves but other times it doesn't. It's not something that you could really do full force while being in the same viewing area at swimming but something as simple as concentrating on my breathing seems to help. Also, since noises and people talking in public often trigger me I have found that listening to relaxing music that you enjoy or even sounds of nature help quite a bit. Also, reading a book helps me on the subway sometimes.

I think the idea is to place things that you enjoy as a mental barrier to your trigger so you can go about your business. In your case watching your grand kids swimming while creating a safe and relaxing space for yourself to enjoy the moment.

General Discussion / Re: Introductions
« on: August 14, 2015, 11:50:02 am »
yeah any drug is different for anyone as our brains are complicated things but for myself and others I know cipralex has had minimal side effects. I had one friend switch because her legs twitched a lot at night and she couldn't sleep but that was it. I hope it's a positive experience for you too!

As for the meditation, I do various forms of it and it's never really structured to any particular tradition. Spiritually I'm a mystic so the various forms of meditation are paramount over any other form of worship. I just feel like it connects me with something outside myself and often times you are able to step outside your self and be one with the universe. I agree that it can be quite psychologically liberating and it helps me with anxiety for sure. Sometimes I do regular sitting and lying down meditations, yoga, muslim salat, etc. The only thing I will say is, from my own experience, I had to be patient in learning how to do it. I found that certain methods just didn't work for me, but others did. You just have to find what feels good. :)

General Discussion / Re: Dancing
« on: August 14, 2015, 11:41:47 am »
thanks for the link paul, this quote in the story really struck a cord with me personally as I always overthink what I've said or done around people:

"If my wife left me, or if my friends didn’t talk to me, I was still going to have the illness so I had better learn, maybe not to enjoy the illness, but to enjoy my life again."

General Discussion / Re: Gone Camping
« on: August 14, 2015, 11:35:54 am »
thanks sounds amazing. I hope the weather is good to you. Enjoy and let us know how it went upon your return!

General Discussion / Re: Dancing
« on: August 13, 2015, 10:02:50 am »
Hey Paul. yeah I had a good laugh when I first read it. I also grew up in farm country, even herding goats and cows are a pain, I imagine dancing is a little tricky :) If anyone is interested it's from a book called Noonday Demon, which I read recently and found that it has helped me deal with a lot of shame I was feeling working in academia.

General Discussion / Re: Introductions
« on: August 12, 2015, 11:54:43 am »
that's great news. it took me over a decade to take the step towards even considering meds, so you're not alone there.

I have been taking cipralex for a few years now and even though I'm on the max dose 40mg, I noticed results within the first few weeks on the introductory dose of 10mg in regards to my anxiety. I've had to increase over time to help me with major depressive episodes but it's still working. So things that it took away within a month for me were a lot of bodily symptoms like IBS and tremors but it also helped with delusions and minor hallucinations from panic attacks.

The only new negative side effect I have had since starting it has been weight gain, I've gained 25lbs over the years. When I workout hard I'm able to lose around 10lbs of it. It really bothered me at first, but I've slowly learned that it's totally worth the little bit of weight, now that I can function as a normal human being and do simple things like pick up take out and make a phone call to a stranger.

I just started going to the mdao support groups as well and that has been a positive experience for sure. something else to consider, that also took me a couple years to build up the courage to sit my butt down though.

anyways the new ssri's are much easier on the system and they work in a superior way than the older drugs that just band aided the issue. If you ever have any worries or concerns and want to talk to somebody feel free to pm me.

all the best!

General Discussion / Re: WRAP
« on: August 06, 2015, 05:16:07 pm »
Thanks Daniel! I'll keep a look out for the update on the site.

General Discussion / WRAP
« on: August 06, 2015, 01:42:06 pm »
Does anyone know when the next round of sessions will happen for this at the eglinton location? I tried emailing the person who helped with the last one that is posted on the mdao website last week but have not received any response yet.


General Discussion / Re: Which meow should I adopt?
« on: August 02, 2015, 12:38:25 pm »
Hey Peter,

I have two cats (1yr+2.5yr) in a one bedroom apartment and they are happy clams. The older one had a rough start being moved around a lot, someone even returned him before we adopted him. So he was always a little strung out, ever since we got the second cat he's almost a different cat, he's more relaxed, loves pets, and even jumps on your lap for affection. Stuff he never did before...he's even opening up his affection beyond me to other people. We also used a diffuser from the vets for awhile called Felliway. Not sure if you've heard of it but it's supposed to calm the kitties down when they are stressed out. It can be a little pricey though, we only use it now when we are away traveling.

I know you think you might not have room (still more space than in the shelter and its more about territory and toys to keep them busy than space) and it is also more money for food, litter, vet stuff, but having that second cat makes life a lot easier for you and the cat. I didn't really believe it when they kept saying that, but it's true. Once they are integrated properly (which took a month for us because the first cat was very territorial) they slowly become best buds and play with one another.

anyways yeah some cats like to cuddle a lot and some do not, just like people I guess...

Let me know if you ever want to talk cat stuff, I love talking about that kind of stuff!

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« on: July 28, 2015, 12:12:55 am »
Hey Peace,
I love reading about other people's lives, you should never feel like anything is too long-winded. Stories are what bring us closer together as human beings :) . As dragonfly has already said you seem like you've got a lot on your table, it reminds me of what my mother likely went through when I was growing up (she also has mental illness issues). I can barely keep my own life together, I can't even imagine being responsible for so many others. You are a hero and never forget that.

Hey Dragonfly,
I hope you and your family have a wonderful time camping. As someone who is pretty terrible with money and I see my fiancee stress over my habits, I understand how you may be concerned about the ex's money troubles as it connects to your own family's well being. It sounds like you at least have a somewhat amicable relationship going with the mother, that she comes over to your house and what not. So that's a sign for optimism I think.

General Discussion / Re: loved ones being scared of you
« on: July 28, 2015, 12:01:18 am »
Hey Dragonfly,

It sounds like you've come a long way and that's great to hear. When someone says I'm distant I find it amusing a bit when I'm not aware of it because I am usually thinking I could actually use some time alone, I never feel like I've already had that alone time.

I still have a problem asking for time alone or admitting I need some time alone. I think I struggle if that is me actually needing it or my depressed self trying to withdrawal more from reality and relationships. I guess that will come in time...

All the best

General Discussion / Re: loved ones being scared of you
« on: July 23, 2015, 12:57:24 am »
yeah I spoke about it with my shrink today and he kind of made sense of it to me. and my cats are still quite young, the oldest is just over 2 years and the youngest is just turning 1 this week...hopefully he calms down a bit from here lol

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« on: July 23, 2015, 12:55:54 am »
Thanks Paul! I'll look into these for sure (my fiancee loves camping and misses it since we moved here, last week was the first trip we have done in 6 years).

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« on: July 22, 2015, 03:09:28 pm »
yeah you have to totally disconnect and just sit in nature and enjoy the company of others, that's what it is all about. I grew up on Vancouver Island so I've done a bit of every kind of camping (boating to gulf islands, tent camping, rv camping in alberta, etc.) Never camped in Ontario though so that is something I am looking forward to (just don't own a car, so makes it difficult to get anywhere out of Toronto).

The place we went this time was called Sombrio Beach, it is part of a hiking trail along the west coast of Vancouver Island, the parking lot is 20 minute walk up a hillside and you have to hike all your stuff down to the beach to camp. Mostly surfers and hikers are the people there, but it is nice because you don't get a lot of big groups since you can't drive in and there's a decent amount of black bears (sometimes they close off parts of the trail and beach if there are cubs around). You pay ten dollars a head and drop it in secure box in the parking lot, never saw a park ranger the entire time so it's a loyalty system.

I love just pitching a tent on the beach so it was perfect for us for a few days, we also found a sacred tribal waterfall in a beautiful cavern that streams into the ocean, I felt blessed just being there. There were also some neat caves when the tide goes out that you can explore, but i get so paranoid about bears when it comes to caves, especially since people don't use the food lockers at night.

The only downfall of the trip was that there was a total fire ban with the drought/forest fires out west so the good ol campfire was at night it was a little chilly, not humid like it is out here.

anyways I could go on for hours about it, but I'll leave it at that :)

General Discussion / Re: Laughing like crazy showcase
« on: July 22, 2015, 02:58:33 pm »
well that was bloody hilarious. definitely going next time!

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