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Messages - Pleeb

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331
General Discussion / Re: bad feeling in stomach......
« on: December 03, 2014, 08:29:59 pm »
Re my father rarely giving advice, he was a "hands off" father.  (contrary to popular opinion, not everyone should be a parent!!!!!)
My mother did most of the child rearing (5 boys).....paid the bills, signed report cards, shovelled the snow all the time!!!!

My folks were from East Prussia, a part of Germany adjoining Lithuania....the Russkies took it over during WWII.
I didn't know until late in life that my VERY shy, anxious mother was pressured by her parents to marry him because his family had $.....the $ disappeared when they fled the Russians.  Never imagined that my father was from a semi-monied family!

Peter

332
General Discussion / bad feeling in stomach......
« on: December 03, 2014, 08:21:55 pm »
Not sure what emotion I'm feeling.

 My younger brother R has a photographic memory for family history.

My father worked at the same small meat market for ages......almost all the guys there German speaking.
My father received part of his salary in meat...a lotta meat....so much that my mother had to throw a lot of it out and not tell him - bad temper. He must've been dumb not to notice she did that. R said she buried the excess in the backyard - didn't know that.

 I knew the above except for burying the meat.......R said they started paying him partly in meat because they caught him stealing meat!!!! (not sure how they worked that out?) I only learned this yesterday.
 
 Ironically, the ONLY life advice my father ever gave me was "don't steal."

 My father could've gotten a higher paying union job (before the theft?) at Canada Packers, a giant company.....he didn't want to because then he'll have to improve his English. I guess he mainly spoke German at work.


 Peter

333
General Discussion / Re: Praise for a Social Organization
« on: December 03, 2014, 07:52:43 pm »
Nice to hear!  Good luck!

Peter

C em......I also think judging would be very rare.

334
General Discussion / Re: dermatology/slap the Dr. and others around....LOL
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:08:33 pm »
They now have a lot more (?) dermatologists.

I got served in 5 minutes....nothing wrong with my skin.  No slapping around.....LOL.

But, their little sheet on their policies says some procedures aren't covered by OHIP, but I'm sure they are.....oh well.

Peter


335
General Discussion / Re: MDAO Comedy Show - my jokes!
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:06:12 pm »
I think it works......tx PB

336
General Discussion / Re: MDAO Comedy Show - my jokes!
« on: November 30, 2014, 11:07:25 pm »
I've never tried "attach" - does it work o.k.?

Peter

337
General Discussion / Re: MDAO Comedy Show - my jokes!
« on: November 30, 2014, 11:06:27 pm »
We do our own introductions.  I chose something like:

"I never realized Peter was an alien......him eating uranium sandwiches in class should've been a tip off!"

I sometimes post stuff to hopefully get a laff/improve my mood.

Peter :-*

338
General Discussion / Re: dermatology/slap the Dr. and others around....LOL
« on: November 26, 2014, 02:39:07 pm »
Hi, Paul.....I thought the reason may be something like that.  I read a long time ago that there's a shortage of neurologists too.

Dragonfly, the one I'm seeing must be a recent hire.  He's not mentioned in any of the reviews.  Like I said, the reviews are mixed, but there are some good reviews.

The other guy does sound fishy! 

https://www.google.ca/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=Dp50VM2zEeeM8Qec5YCQBQ&gws_rd=ssl#q=avantderm

Just in case, any tips on how to "bitch slap?"  ;) :-X

Peter

339
General Discussion / Re: dermatology/slap the Dr. and others around....LOL
« on: November 25, 2014, 11:13:53 pm »
When I had skin cancer (the least bad kind) before, the symptom was very tiny cuts/openings on forehead that wouldn't heal....no blood, though.  I've been getting that the last few days....grrrr!  Maybe not.

I'm not Mr. Macho, but the above isn't a huge deal, doesn't hurt.

Also, the indentations on my forehead (not so noticeable) complement the hole and tear on the back of my right eyeball...... ;)  I'm not making this up.....also doesn't hurt, and also got laser treatment for that.....

Peter

Both laser treatments in Dr.'s office, not a hospital....very casual.

340
General Discussion / dermatology/slap the Dr. and others around....LOL
« on: November 25, 2014, 11:02:21 pm »
Asked Dr. for referral to dermatologist - thought face mole was changing. Maybe skin cancer, which I've had before....not a huge deal.

 Made appt today for next week (!).

 This clinic has very mixed reviews on the net:
 -they push 40 dollars a bottle over the counter cream (this is mainly a cosmetic skin clinic) - my giant hospital has no dermatology department! (anymore)  St. Michaels in Toronto.
 -the dermatologist asks patients to feel his face because he uses that cream
 -etc...etc.....some good reviews, though

 I'm suspicious of the very short waiting time to get in.....maybe they'll shunt me to the walk in clinic? (they call it something else)


 You need a Dr's referral to see a medical specialist, hence, no walk in clinic, but I guess you don't for cosmetic procedures which aren't covered by OHIP. (not my case)



 Still don't know what "bitch slap" means, but am I gonna have to bitch slap the Dr. etc. next week?  8)


 P.S. I'm seeing a different Dr than the one mentioned online.



 Peter

341
General Discussion / Re: MDAO Comedy Show - my jokes!
« on: November 25, 2014, 10:39:41 pm »
Thanks!  Thought of something - when the tough cats do "f.... meow!"...they should have cigarettes hanging from their lips....  Now I gotta borrow a cigarette....or, find a fake one at Yonge street gag store.....one that has a long ash hanging on it....LOL


Peter

If teacher approves the above.

342
General Discussion / MDAO Comedy Show - my jokes!
« on: November 20, 2014, 04:29:01 pm »
My clean ones!   :-[   I love getting the audience to ask "how tough or how long" or whatever.

New Jokes for Christmas Show 2014  Peter Bessel
SET UP: My psychiatrist said I should be more spontaneous.
PUNCH: So I slapped him in the face and called him a salamander.

SET UP: I was asked to leave the MDAO support group.
PUNCH: I guess bitch slapping isn’t really providing support.

SET UP: My psychiatrist can be a little abrupt.
PUNCH: I asked him:  “Why I am worrying so much?”
He replies:  “Do I look like a f mindreader?”

SET UP: I hate jokes with no punch line.
PUNCH:

SET UP: I got my testosterone blood test results. 
               “Well, how is it?”
               PUNCH:   Your testosterone is pretty low, Priscilla....I mean   Peter!



SET UP:  I went to Medic Alert...told them all my problems.....can you made a bracelet for me?
PUNCH: They said a bracelet isn’t big enough....they made me a breastplate I were on my chest.

SET UP: I was so depressed.....
PUNCH: I thought watching executions on the North Korean Channel would cheer me up!
   

SET UP: My father said I was lazy and no good.....and a cry baby!
PUNCH: This is when I was three weeks old!


SET UP:  I was a breech baby, but sideways...
PUNCH:  You know how men are about asking directions.
 

PUNCH: I like scaring my cat.....
SETUP: by doing a vacuum cleaner impression.



SET UP:  I’ve read a couple of times that your ears and nose continue to grow as you get older.

PUNCH:  I didn’t always look like a giant rat!  The other day I’m walking down the street and a gang of
 
tough cats walked in my direction.  They were really tough.  (audience:  how tough?) Some of them had

 tattoos, like “F your Litterbox!” “Dogs drool, cats rule.” They were really tough (audience:  how tough?)

 Some of them had metal studs in their tails.  They were really tough. (audience: how tough?)  They didn’t

 meow like this:  “meow....meow”  They meowed like this:  “f meow....f meow.” The leader had scars and a black patch over his eye.

The leader: (high pitched voice) – “Lookit the size of that rat.....let’s get him, boys!”
I was scared shitless, but quick thinking:  I yelled loudly “Here, rover!”....they took off, looking over their shoulders at me.....what a close call!


SET UP:  I was so mad when a fellow patient stole my lunch......
PUNCH:  It was (my usual?) 3 Prozac sliders.

SET UP:   Growing old is the pits……
PUNCH:  The only person I could possibly date is Betty White’s older sister.  Her name’s Wrinkleinna.  Near sighted people at the supermarket mistake her for a prune.

SET UP:  I’d make a good family therapist....
PUNCH:   Because of life experiences: I’ve been married 6 times...2 of those were to guys....one of those was to a burro in Mexico...one of those was to Anne Murray.

SET UP:   Growing older is the pits because.......
PUNCH:   ....................................

SETUP: I’m trying a new antidepressant....works great!
 PUNCH: It’s called “Breaking Sad.” 

SETUP: When I was a kid, the other kids made fun of my braces.....
PUNCH: The braces on my head.....
..
 SETUP: When I was a kid, the other kids made fun of my Medic Alert bracelet....
PUNCH: The one stapled to my forehead.

 
SET UP:  When I was in school, my nickname was “cave boy.”
PUNCH:   That’s how long ago I was in school.  I couldn’t wait to turn 16 so I could get my dinosaur licence.

SET UP:   My family doesn’t understand mood disorders, and they’re very Old World, old school.
PUNCH:  “To get rid of your depression, eat a nice, heaping bowl of squirrel stew.....works every time!”  (“put a handful of Caesar salad on top of your head for three hours”?)

SETUP:   I don’t say much, usually....
 PUNCH:  I can’t – I always have a about 10 meds in my mouth.
           
   
SET UP: Just out of curiousity, anyone here around my age, 67?

PUNCH:  If so, raise your white bony, bloodless arm with a claw on the end of it, please.  Or get your personal care worker to raise it for you.


SET UP: My psychiatrist said I should stand up for myself, not let people walk over me.

PUNCH:   Pretty hard to avoid having people walk all over me when I’m grovelling on the ground all day!

PUNCH:  I asked my psychiatrist:  “What can I do about my social phobia?”
“Beats me!”
Huh!
“At psychiatry school, you have to pass 5 out of 6 courses.  I failed social phobia.  Got any questions about compulsive hand washing, on the other hand?”

SETUP:   My psychiatrist says the best way to minimize my depression….
 PUNCH:  Is to maximize my anxiety.
       
           
SETUP:  I hate movies – I prefer real life.
 
PUNCH: You’ll see me walking down the street, eating popcorn, applauding, crying sometimes.

 
SET UP: I was barred from this bar once.

PUNCH:   After I had 14 Budweisers, I tried to pick a fight with my reflection in the bathroom mirror.


SETUP:   I told my psychiatrist I’m talking to myself more lately.
 PUNCH:  He says:  “Tell yourself to shut up.”
       
           
SETUP:  I dropped another psychiatrist after one session.
 
PUNCH: She asked me too many personal questions.

 
SET UP: I’m recruiting for my new cult.

PUNCH:   You worship me, and give me money.
                I give you insight into worship and money!

SETUP:   Since my lobotomy………
 PUNCH:  …..

           
SET UP: In high school my nickname was “Worthless Piece of Pond Scum,

PUNCH:   What’s worse, my principal gave me that nickname….no wonder I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for 23 years!











343
General Discussion / Another MDAO comedy show.....
« on: November 18, 2014, 08:46:19 pm »
On Dec 11, at the Imperial Pub and Library, just east of Yonge and Dundas.  I'm in it.

They're not advertising, as it's a tiny place, and a lot of seats will be taken up by friends and family.....
but I'm sure they would have some empty seats others could take.

There's probably an admission charge.  I guess phone MDAO for details?......probably pay at the door.


Peter

344
General Discussion / Anxious......then.....
« on: November 18, 2014, 08:42:58 pm »
Very anxious for some reason after I woke up today at 5:00 p.m.  :-[

Decided to meditate, which I may do even if I wasn't anxious.

Result:

-60 % less anxious
-doing things I've been putting off, like semi-complicated things:  paying for online memberships using Visa.

Of course, I don't always get results like this....but!


Peter  :)   Where's my cat emoticon?  Oh well......

345
General Discussion / Re: Started taking Lipitor, cholesterol medication...
« on: November 14, 2014, 03:15:25 am »
Update....getting an MRI in a few weeks, and operation will be December 5......Peter

Good riddance to gall bladder.....LOL

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