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Messages - Dragonfly

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91
Thanks Buddy Mack,

We are not alone with our mental illness. We can all strive to accomplish what we want.

Dragonfly

92
General Discussion / Re: OCD
« on: February 25, 2017, 07:59:00 pm »
I do not really know how to offer help to you, Peace about OCD.  I do think of you often and hope that things will get better for you.

Dragonfly

93
General Discussion / Re: Received a real shock today
« on: February 25, 2017, 07:54:32 pm »
Hi Buddy Mack, Paul and Peace,
Thank you for your support and kind words. It really means a great deal to me. Today it is starting to sink in more about the tragic death of this person that I actually knew very well. My family and I camped with him, his parents and sister before my son separated from the sister.

It is great Paul that you took a course on how to talk to people that are contemplating suicide.  I tried to commit suicide once about 1 1/2 years after my eldest (daughter) was born. It was more a cry for help than that I wanted to end it all. I told my husband a few times that I was very unhappy and wanted to take some pills which I eventually did. I really did not realize what was going on with me. I didn't realize I was that depressed. You are right in saying that the pain was so great that I didn't want to live with it anymore.  I felt worthless and a burden to my family. I was so ashamed about my feelings and what I did that only my husband, sister and husband knew about what I had done. I was not diagnosed with suffering from bipolar II until about 4 years later after the birth of my last child. Then the rest of my extended family found out about my mental illness. (big families on my side and my husband's side).

You are right Peace sometimes we do things out of love for our children though they are not always right. As you say no blame should be put on anybody. Yes, I agree that the family should be reassured that it was no fault of their's as to what he did.

Dragonfly

 

94
General Discussion / Received a real shock today
« on: February 25, 2017, 12:15:03 am »
This morning I was sleeping in bed and I heard the key in my front door. I thought it was my daughter coming home saying she was not needed at work. It turned out to be my son and my two grandchildren. My granddaughter was crying. My son said something bad had happened. I didn't know what but it sounded very serious. It scared me.
My son told me that his ex.'s brother had taken his own life.
Apparently my son found out that he had been depressed for awhile and was getting psyciatric help next week. Unknown to my son his girlfriend broke up with him around Christmas.
The man that took his own life was living with his parents. He was previously in jail for 3 months. He was dealing drugs and lost his driver's licence. His mother found him.
I knew this man. I have mixed feelings about him passing.  He was not a nice person. He made fun of my grandchildren and made my granddaughter cry. They didn't particularly like him. There are no words to describe what his parents and sister are feeling though and I feel for them. This was my grandchildren's uncle.
I am not trying to lay the blame on anyone. I guess maybe I am. His parents enabled him. They gave him no direction. They let him do things and never questioned it.
I feel that we must protect my grandchildren. I don't know if I am using the right words for this tragic happening. Am I a hypocrite? He must have been very sick mentally. Am I judging him?
I don't know if I am making sense. I am only thinking of my grandchildren and how it is effecting my son.
I must say if I knew he was that mentally ill I would have tried to help him to get him the medical care he needed. There is going to be a lot of guilt feelings. His ex. girlfriend talked all day to him off and on the day before. He kept saying he was going to commit suicide.
Please tell me if you think I have no feelings.
I am very mixed up about this happening. I do feel very badly about this man taking his own life. I think I am contradicting myself. I do care. It has not sunk in yet. I would give the world to have him back for his own sake and for his mother, father, sister and friends.
My daughters and I took care of my grandchildren today. My grandson doesn't understand. My granddaughter does somewhat.
This is striking very close to home. If only someone could have helped him.

Dragonfly

95
General Discussion / Re: how is everyone doing?
« on: February 13, 2017, 07:42:14 pm »
I really like your video Buddy Mack. I would like to show that to my big kids.

I agree it is very difficult to plan camping for Provincial Parks. We already plan in May for our weekend at Thanksgiving in a provincial park.
For other camping trips we usually end up going to conservation areas or private camps.

My days of sleeping in a tent are over. I don't know if what my family and I do is called real camping. I have a canoe. We haven't used it for awhile. It seems easier to rent one than trying to carry it on our camping trailers.

Dragonfly

96
General Discussion / Re: how is everyone doing?
« on: February 11, 2017, 07:53:03 pm »
I am glad you are doing well Buddy Mack. My daughters and I start our camping in May when the weather is warmer.

Dragonfly

97
General Discussion / how is everyone doing?
« on: February 10, 2017, 03:57:50 pm »
Hi everyone,

Just wondering how everyone is doing. It is snowing here right now. I am looking at planning some camping trips. This helps a little to combat the winter time blues.
On the whole I am doing okay. Always thinking about my big kids- 35, 37 and 40 years old and my two grandchildren.
Always a joy to watch my grandson at hockey games (he is 7 yrs. old) and my granddaughter (10 yrs. old) and grandson at swimming lessons.
I guess I am just going with the flow of life. Sometimes you try to plan everything in your life. As I have found out that doesn't work. I guess that is okay.

Dragonfly

98
Hi Paul,

Thank you. I will be looking for you too.

Dragonfly

99
Hi Paul,

Thank you for your support. I now realize from what you say that it is not that important to have an in depth physical especially with all the tests and blood work that my specialists do. Thank you for clearing that up for me. It is much appreciated and I am very serious about that.

When I was on lithium my psychiatrist would always order a lithium test over a twelve hour period and make sure that I was at the right level. For me .9 was fine but 1.2 mmo1/L was too much and I would have tremors. Like I said in a previous post lithium was a life saver for me when I was diagnosed with bipolar mental disorder (then called manic-depression). If the doctors hadn't put me on lithium I believe I would have committed suicide.  I never went off it in that point in time. I was very afraid about going into a deep depression again. My quality of life was so much better when I got on lithium.

I am not blaming my diabetes on taking lithium. It runs very strongly in my family and is genetic.

I hope I haven't hurt your feelings because of what I have written. I don't want to put words in your mouth. I think you and I have had a long journey with this mental illness. We have both learned a lot. I consider you as my friend.

Dragonfly

100
Hi Paul and Stenacron man,

Thank you for the advice on changing doctors. I think I will stick to my family doctor. She has referred me to some very good specialists and they do many tests. My kidney doctor is amazing. He checks me for everything and nothing and catches things that the other doctors don't. I only see my GP for one prescription drug. I didn't realize that doctors don't do physicals anymore.

I think it would be worth her while for my daughter to change doctors. She hasn't had many problems so far. However, this knee injury that she has sustained after the accident needs more attention than her family doctor (also mine) is willing to give. This doctor was good in the beginning. I looked up this family doctor and the reviews say she hardly addresses health concerns, makes you wait a long time, is not readily available when you really need her. Seems to go on a lot of holidays and cancels appointments.

Dragonfly

101
Hi Stenacron man,

No I am no longer on lithium. I had been on it for about 30 years. I started on lithium when I was 30 years old. They started me on 1700 mgs. per day but I developed diabetes insipidus. Then they lowered to 1500 mgs. per day. Over the years it kept being reduced. Before I stopped it I was on 600 mgs. per day. I guess as I got older the body processed it differently.

Before I had my three children I would become manic and depressed. When I was depressed I was not suicidal. That all changed with the birth of my three children. Hormones in a woman can cause mood swings. I became either manic or depressed to the point of suicide. After the birth of my third child the psychiatrist put me on lithium. That was a life saver for me. I had 12 very good years after that. If I hadn't taken lithium I probably wouldn't be here.

After I had my complete hysterectomy at the age of 43 I went into a very deep depression to the point of being suicidal sometimes. The psychiatrists tried me on many different drugs. Anti-depressants which were totally the wrong kind of drug. This took quite a few years.
My one psychiatrist introduced me to lamotrigne. This was a very good mood stabilizer for me. (still on lithium at this point). Finally the cocktail of psychiatric drugs seemed to make me stable. Not without side effects though.

No I was not diabetic before I took lithium. I don't think the lithium brought on diabetes. It only made my diabetes worse because of the weight I gained being on lithium. Diabetes runs very strongly in my family. Out of 8 of us already 5 of us have diabetes. I am the only one that is an insulin dependent diabetic. Diabetes is genetic.

Thank you Buddy mack for the websites. I have checked some of them out already.

Dragonfly

102
General Discussion / I am not pleased with my family doctor - any advice
« on: January 27, 2017, 12:35:16 pm »
Hi everyone,
I am not at all happy with the treatment that my family doctor gives me nor the care she has given my daughter.

I suffer from bipolar II and other health problems. In hindsight I know that I suffered from bipolar mental illness since the age of 12. I was diagnosed at age 30. I am now 66. It has been a long journey. For the most part I am now stable. Some of the drugs I was on have left me with health problems. I see a psychiatrist. Due to my diabetes and having been on lithium for years I am now seeing a kidney specialist  for chronic kidney disease, an eye specialist, diabetes specialist . I have seen a neurologist to test my nerve function. I have had a heart stress test. Many other tests.

My family doctor has been good in referring me to specialists for my health problems. I have been sent to a kidney specialist a little late. She could have picked up on my creatinine (pardon my spelling) level much sooner. I had a physical done by her and she hardly did anything.

My daughter was in a car accident. She hurt her back, arms and her left knee very badly. My eldest daughter and I took her to emergency where she had x-rays done. The doctor told her she needed physiotherapy for her knee. My daughter followed up with the family doctor. She didn't even examine my daughter. The doctor just wrote down, whiplash, hurt knee, etc. My daughter went back to her and at urging from my daughter sent her for an aultra-sound of her knee. There was a problem and her doctor never got back to her and the physiotherapist had to fax for the results. My daughter went back to her GP and reguested an MRI which she is getting.

I feel that the family doctor is not treating my daughter and I properly. We have had her for 26 years. I think it is time to change doctors. Should my daughter do it after she has the MRI.

I am not sure if I should change doctors since I have so many specialists looking after me. If I changed I would have to go through my whole life history. Would I be able to keep the same specialists that I have? Finally I have found specialists that are very good.

Any advice would be helpful.

Dragonfly

103
General Discussion / Re: Did I do the right thing
« on: January 25, 2017, 10:42:32 pm »
Welcome Paula,

Very glad that you posted. Your views are very important.

Dragonfly

104
General Discussion / Re: Are natural remedies vs big pharma
« on: January 25, 2017, 10:39:25 pm »
Welcome Stenacron Man,

I agree with you that I would never buy prescription drugs on line. I have a very good pharmacist that I deal with. She gives me advice on the prescription drugs I am on and new ones that the doctor has prescribed. My pharmacist will answer my questions on the phone or in person. I speak to her about medical treatments, etc. She is a real people person and is there to help.
I also am on some vitamins. They were recommended by my doctor.
I always check with my pharmacist if my drugs will interact with each other. I must say that the pharmacist knows more about drugs than some doctors.

Dragonfly

105
General Discussion / Re: "Emergency Nap Syndrome" and similar....
« on: January 15, 2017, 04:47:37 pm »
Hi Peter, Paul and Paula,

For probably more than 10 years or more  I have on most days have had an afternoon nap. I don't know when I exactly figured out that I needed that. It may range from an hour to two hours depending how tired I am. Sometimes due to social events I have had  to miss my nap. I really pay for it the next day. I have said no to many social events since they were held in the afternoon.

Some people cannot understand why I have these naps. They think I am lazy. I have said to my family I turn into a monster when I don't have these naps. I can become very irritable, angry and say things I will regret later. I think I started to need these naps when I had to take more psychiatrict drugs and others for my health problems.

Once in awhile now I have trouble sleeping at night. Probably from worrying. Generally now though I pass out at night. I am more tired now than ever probably due to my general health. I am not complaining. It just seems to be a fact.
I am on a 1/2 tablet of seroquel for sleeping. Any more than that and I feel like a zombie in the morning.

Dragonfly


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