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Messages - Dragonfly

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General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« on: August 02, 2017, 07:22:35 pm »
Stenacron man,

Great way of coping so that you could move on.


General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« on: August 02, 2017, 07:20:30 pm »
 I am glad that you are doing the best that you can. Enjoying the good days.

I feel badly for your daughter about her job. My daughter is having similar problems and is looking for another job. It is so unfair the way some employers treat their employees.

Hope your oldest daughter lives close so that you can have visits with her.

Take care.


General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« on: August 02, 2017, 07:08:42 pm »
Thanks for asking Peace.
 Unfortunately on Sunday I found out that my late husband's sister's husband passed away. He was 79 years old and had a stroke very unexpectedly.

I emphazie with his wife my sister-in-law. She will now be without her spouse like I am.

A few things I must say. He died sailing on his boat with his wife, daughter and son-in-law and kids. Sailing was his passion. Him and his wife were back a number of days from a cruise to Holland (where he and his wife are from ) to Scandinavian countries to the Arctic. This trip was for their 55th anniversary which was in July. His birthday was in July when he turned 79.

I believe he lived a very good life.

The funeral is tomorrow on Thursday. I will not attend. It is out of town and in the afternoon when I rest. I do not have the energy to attend. The family understands. My two daughters and son will attend.

Otherwise I am doing okay.


General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« on: July 28, 2017, 01:05:52 pm »
Hi Stenacron man,

I didn't quite understand your story about your wife. Did she die? Did she really die in a car accident? Is it your father you were talking about who was a good man.

I am so glad that you met your son and have a good relationship with him.


General Discussion / How is everyone doing this summer
« on: July 28, 2017, 12:59:55 pm »
Hi everyone, How is everyone doing?

Peace how is it going with you?

Paul have you found a new place to live. Is your internet doing any better?

Stenacron man how are things going with you. Peter how are you doing?

Sorry if I have left anyone out. Always interested in how people are doing.


General Discussion / radical acceptance
« on: July 28, 2017, 11:24:58 am »
Hi everyone
I am having a very hard time accepting the fact that I can't do things like I used to. This is due mainly because of age and health. I talked about this with my caseworker (visits me every few weeks to see how I am doing mentally - works with my pdoc who I see but less frequently).

She mentioned radical acceptance. I had never heard this term before. I looked it up on the internet. I guess it means accepting something you can't change and moving on. For example I love gardening. I look out at my garden and become very frustrated. I can't take care of it the way I used to. I would like to do many things to it to make it look good. If I do it tires me out so much that I can't function well for the rest of the day. If my family comes unexpectly on that day it is very difficult to visit with them because of tiredness.

I feel very unhappy about the things I can't do anymore. Lots of things. Not just gardening. I start to have many negative thoughts about the things that didn't go well in my life.  I have been having very unpleasant dreams which I remember in the morning.

Has anyone heard of this term: radical acceptance? Can anyone identify with the feelings that I am having as to more limitations as to what they can do?


General Discussion / Re: Family Illness
« on: July 21, 2017, 04:38:54 pm »
Hi Peace,

I am so glad that you had so much support from your daughters. That shows you what a great Mother you are and how well you have brought them up. So kind and thoughtful just like you.

Thinking of you.


General Discussion / Re: Family Illness
« on: July 16, 2017, 08:31:20 pm »
Peace I am so sorry about your loss.

When I lost my husband I was very scared of losing it. Maybe screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. I obsessed and worried about this before the funeral but it didn't happen. I was still too much in shock and numb for this. I did cry a lot though. My caseworker for my mental health advised me to take clonazepam and she came to the funeral. This helped. A very dear friend i hadn't seen in a long time attended which meant a lot to me.

Peace I wish you strength on Monday. Paul I am sure that you are still grieving for your brother.

Thinking of both of you.


General Discussion / Re: cousin's wife died a few days ago....
« on: July 16, 2017, 08:05:23 pm »
Hi Peter, So sorry to hear of your loss. Wish you strength during this time.


General Discussion / Re: Life
« on: June 29, 2017, 05:00:41 pm »
Hi Paul,

I am so sorry about what you are going through. I so empathize about your younger brother. Hope things get better for you.


General Discussion / Re: Family Illness
« on: June 27, 2017, 01:02:18 pm »
Peace I am so sorry about your brother.

Do you have any other family members that can support you or friends. I have used the crisis line quite a few times. Some of my darker moments usually hit in the evening or on the weekend when no one else was around to support me. It did help me.

Anytime you need support please let us know on the forum. We care about you.


General Discussion / Re: Can you believe its been 5 Years?!!!!???!!!
« on: June 26, 2017, 05:28:17 pm »
Congradulations, Soozan and Rich on your 5th Wedding Anniversary. Time does fly.

Is it coincidence that I was thinking about the different people on the forum that we haven't heard from for awhile. I was thinking about the two of you also.

I am doing fine. I have great supporters. My family first and foremost. My two daughters. My son has been separated from his wife. It was very difficult for him. It was hard for the rest of the family too. My son has met a woman with a 10 year old daughter. She has moved in with him. He is so much happier. I am so glad. It is hard to see your children having a hard time. It is as if I have acquired a new daughter-in-law and granddaughter although they aren't married. I love both of them dearly. I also thoroughly enjoy my granddaughter from my son (10 years old) and my grandson (8 years old).

I have great support from extended family and friends. The health professionals I see for my health problems are also very caring and helpful.

I live day to day and try to enjoy the special moments. I do miss my husband very much. Every day. I have to be thankful for what I have though.

Yes, I must say that this forum has really helped me especially through some very hard times. I am very thankful to Paul and the many other people on this forum.


General Discussion / Re: Couple of things on my mind
« on: June 09, 2017, 04:52:50 pm »
Hi Peace, I haven't been on the forum for awhile.

You sound like such a good Mother Peace worrying about your daughter and her boyfriend.

I hope that your friends son is doing well.

I am a little short on words today.


General Discussion / Re: Feeling pressure - I'm 70 next week!
« on: June 09, 2017, 04:44:38 pm »
Happy Birthday Peter,

I am not far behind you. In age is what I mean of course.

Have a great day with your brothers.

Good going with your rowing machine and your yoga.

Dragonfly    :-*

General Discussion / Re: Re clutter....
« on: April 18, 2017, 05:55:06 pm »
Hi Peter,
Thanks for the info. Too bad we don't live in Toronto otherwise I would have liked to take my daughter.


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