Hello Jenn. Every couple has to have their own rules and I'm not saying what worked for me , will work for you.
My view of my spending habits and what was essential when I was without income was drastically different from my spouses. This lead to many arguments
One of her conditions for her staying with me during those difficult yrs was that she handle all of the finances, which meant closing my bank acct and giving her my charge cards. I didn't like that at the time.
It worked out really well. I no longer spent money on items that weren't absolutely essential and that meant I didn't feel guilty when the charge card bill came in or the bank statement. It also meant my wife (who was working at two jobs at the time) didn't have unexpected surprises.
Less stress for me, less stress for her. It turned out to be win win situation. We still had a few arguments about how much money I should have every week, but eventually that all worked itself out.
Plus it had the added benefit of forcing us both to discuss our finances and decide where the money would go. Take Care. paul m