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Messages - Eazybreezy02

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General Discussion / Re: WHERE IS EVERYONE???
« on: September 23, 2021, 11:17:16 am »
Hi P, yes I've been in a few virtual meetings - one session in General Depression and Anxiety and a few in the BiPolar. That's really my only option as there are no in-person meetings available anywhere near where I live. I'm not sure how I feel about them yet...

I used to be a regular here, but then life got busy!

I'm looking forward to attending (virtually) the Bipolar Peer Support Group this Friday.  I hope that the technology involved in doing this isn't going to let me down!


Rich, did you end up attending the support group? How did you like it if you did? I did as well for a few weeks - no offense to anyone there but I found it kind of depressing. But that's just me - it works great for some people but not for others. It's good that it's available for those who do find it helpful!

General Discussion / Re: WHERE IS EVERYONE???
« on: September 20, 2021, 09:58:25 am »
I'm here! I thought the same thing  :-\

I think what happens is when people start to feel better, they don't need to be on here anymore. But, because of mental illness, when they don't feel good, it's hard to either remember this is here or have no energy to be utilizing this service. I know for myself when I first found this site/forum I was in a shitty place looking for answers, to talk to anyone who would listen. Then when I had a blip in the radar where I was feeling better, I didn't think about this site.

I'm cycling through again though so will likely be reading what's going on with others to try and gain insight on some solutions to help myself.

Btw, I laughed when I read your comment about chatting on here naked because no one is around. Too funny!

Depression and Bipolar / Re: Struggling with Medication
« on: September 20, 2021, 09:49:06 am »
Hi Rich, thanks for your response. A LOT has happened since my initial post! It got to the point where my medication was physically ruining me and I'm still recovering from it. I am no longer medicated at all. It took over a month to get over withdrawal symptoms and looking back, I'd rather feel the way I do without the medication than with the medication. It was years of not only feeling horrible because of 'illness' but add on the misery of side effects. At least I have a clear mind (albeit, sometimes too clear) to work on this now. I'm not anti-medication at all but my experience was so shitty that I will have a hard time being convinced to try something new.

My anxiety is still really high and I feel physically nauseous more often than not - but - I need to find a better way to cope. I'm conscious of the fact that rumination is real and work really hard not to get stuck in that cycle. I'm grateful I can at least laugh again and actually feel funny and feel good things when they happen. I just need to figure out how to get a grip with the horrible feeling inside that brings me down. If I can do this, then it's under control and I can get on with my life without any medication. I guess that's the secret, right?

Depression and Bipolar / Struggling with Medication
« on: June 11, 2021, 12:45:54 pm »

I'm a new member and noticed that hasn't been action in this section for 4 years. I hope this reaches someone!

Is anyone struggling with medication? I've been actively working through medication changes for 4 years and still haven't found the right mixture without it either not working at all or too many side effects (intolerable ones).

Right now, it's Latuda 2x per day, Buproprion 1x per day, Lithium 1x per day, Mertazipine 1x per day, and Clonazepam 1x per day. The one that seems to be causing all the trouble is the Mertazipine. I was taken off of it because it was causing serious negative anxiety but the fallout from that was horrible. For over a month I felt nauseous, completely uninterested in food, and couldn't sleep. I was recently put back on it and the initial few days were hell (this didn't happen the first time I was put on it). I felt completely intoxicated to the point where I couldn't work, drive, etc. Once I got past that it was fine and I had ONE good day, a day that I haven't felt in a LONG time. I was so pumped and sure that it was going to work out going forward. Unfortunately, it hasn't gone that way. The crippling anxiety is creeping back in and my mood is swinging all over the place throughout the day.

I'm losing hope in this medicinal journey of hell. Has anyone experienced this? If so, how did you cope? So far, I've been able to take on changing medications really well - I just hammer through it and hope for the best. Now, I'm losing that mentality. I have an appointment today with my psychiatrist and I'm guessing he is going to take me off the Mertazipine and start me on something else. I'm dreading it both ways: Stay on it and go down that crippling dark road or go off and start something else with all the mystery that comes with it.

This is pretty long-winded but I have no one to turn to for coping strategies with medication changes. I've been over 20+ changes in 4 years and handling it relatively ok (including all the side effects, etc.) But, this is getting bonkers and I don't know who to turn to.

I would appreciate any insight, please!

Many thanks,
Steph  :(

I would like to experience a session to see how I would like it but unfortunately there are none in my geographic area - that I know of. I would gladly take suggestions if there are other similar options available!

Many thanks,

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