MDAO Forum

Support for People with Mood Disorders => General Discussion => Topic started by: Dragonfly on February 25, 2015, 02:34:41 pm

Title: what is normal
Post by: Dragonfly on February 25, 2015, 02:34:41 pm
Hi everyone,

I suffer from bipolar II. I guess that makes me nuts or crazy. In the last while I have met some people who have not been diagnosed with anything. People that are very selfish and think only about themselves. It doesn't matter how it effects other people. People who want every bargain they can get, have lots of money, spend it when they feel like it, begrudge other people close to them that spend.
I guess what I am trying to say is that everyone of us is nuts to some extent. Now I have lost my train of thought. Are we that have a mental illness sane and not other people?

Sometimes we are very naive about people and things. When our eyes are opened we are shocked. The world is not always a nice place to live in. I guess we have to look at the positives.

I feel like I am rambling and going from one subject to another. 


Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: Rich on February 25, 2015, 10:00:23 pm
Hi Dragonfly, I'm bipolar II as well.  I think that those of us on medication (possibly with therapy as well) are clearly more sane than the unmedicated masses!  Those mood stabilizers keep us more even than most people, that's for sure!

Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: paulm on February 26, 2015, 03:22:00 am
Hello Dragonfly. The world certainly has problems, but 80% of the people that I have met are pretty good people. Even my sister, who I do not get along with at all, is a pretty good person. We just don't along.

 In my mind (and that is only in my mind and not necessarily someone else's mind) just because a person has a different personality than mine, doesn't make them right or wrong. They can even have a different set of values than I have and still be a good person.

 I don't think my sister has very volunteered a day in her life. She probably thinks I'm nuts for volunteering as she believes if you are going to do something you should get paid for it.  she tends to be extremely cheap, except with herself and I don't agree with her philosophies, but she was a far better aunt to my children that I ever was an uncle to her children. She is also a good mother and wife.

 So while we disagree intensely on many things(including whether or not a mental illness is a real illness) she is not a bad person. I don't like her much and I don't want to be around her, but that doesn't make either one of us a bad person.

 Having a mental illness is neither a good trait nor a bad one, it's just an illness. Very often a difficult illness, but it is still just an illness.

  While I have seen many a**holes in life, I've seen a lot of people that have a mental illness that are real a**holes too and it has nothing to do with their illness. They were that way before they every got ill.

 However I'll still stand by my statement that most people are good people, just because they life a different life style, doesn't make them a bad person. What makes them a bad person is when they deliberately start to invade someone else's life.

 Are there obnoxious, irritating, greedy and mean people out there, there sure are, but it always has been that way all through history.

 Per usual, these are my feelings only and doesn't mean that I'm right. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: LuckyLou on February 26, 2015, 07:17:58 am
I don't think there is any such thing as normal! I think we are all just at varying  degrees of insanity!
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: Dragonfly on February 26, 2015, 01:26:50 pm
Thank you Rich, Paul & LuckyLou for your replies.

You are right Paul that most people are good people.

There are people that I like very much in my extended family and people that I meet casually. There are a few in my family that I really don't like. As you say Paul just because these people are different than me doesn't mean they are bad people. One particular member of the family I don't like would give the shirt off his back if I needed help. I guess some personalities just don't click. At a family gathering or otherwise I try to associate with people I like and avoid the ones I don't like.
I always think I am not judgemental. I am more so than I think.
I have to work on seeing the good traits in people that I don't like.
You really make sense Paul. I am glad that you shared your insight.

Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: paulm on February 28, 2015, 12:17:20 am
Hello Dragonfly. My sister and I avoid each other like the the plague, we just rub each other wrong. We get along for about 15 minutes and after that it's better if one of us joins another group. She never comes to my place for coffee and I never get invites to her place(unless it's a family event). 

 So avoiding someone isn't always judgmental, sometimes it's just good common sense. It would be a dull world if we are alike. Well if everybody was like you and I it would be great, LOL. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: Soozan on February 28, 2015, 09:56:14 am
I agree with Lucky Lou, we are all insane in our own way, heck the world of people is insane, my dad always told me that people don't wake up in the morning thinking, I will do my best to do bad today, that people are inherently good, so I agree with Paul too, Human nature is a weird thing.

We are all messed up because we have no bearings and only can rely on what we are taught by others for our own moral compass. As babies we are taught what is right and wrong and we are at the mercy of our environments, that dictate our reactions which dictate our behaviors when presented with different stimuli or situations.

I think all we can do for ourselves are to learn who resonates with us and do ourselves and other people a favor and not mess with those that we don't resonate with. It would be nice if we could all just get along wouldn't it?

Normal is a matter of someone's view.. what is normal for one person is not normal for another. Therefore there is no such thing as normal, other than living up to another person's expectations, who views themselves as "normal".

I am happy to never be classified as "normal" I want to dance to the beat of my own drummer thank you very much!

- Soozan

Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: paulm on February 28, 2015, 10:31:17 pm
Hello Soozan.  When you said "I am happy to never be classified as "normal"" .  I find you quit normal,however I know that you did marry Rich , so I may have to revise my opinion a little LOL. 

 For anyone thinking that I'm picking on Rich, I'm not. Rich and I go way back a fair ways(he was still a young man then LOL) and still every time he sees my wife he asks her if she knows that I'm crazy.  So I'm just getting a little back at him. Actually he and Soozan are both really nice people and I've enjoyed some really great times in their company. 

 So Soozan, whether you(and Rich) are normal or not, you are nice people and that's what counts. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: Rich on February 28, 2015, 11:33:44 pm
Paul, you are the nicest crazy I know!  (After Soozan, of course --- phew, that was a close one!)  :-)

It was the Fall of 2006 when I joined the forum...9 years ago this fall!  I'll never forget the first time that many of us got together at the Old Spaghetti Factory on the Esplanade in downtown T.O. --- it was so nice to see some of the forum members in person!  When this depressive winter ends we need to plan another get2gether!

Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: Soozan on February 28, 2015, 11:43:00 pm
LOL Paul, well if we ARE considered normal then I guess its the rest of the world that is crazy .. but then again .... hmmmm....

I guess as long as we are medicated we are good to go! Although you are right ... Rich does leave some raised eyebrows ;).... but he is cute and I can't resist him!

Rich forgot to mention that WE did meet at a get together as well! So they seem to be good times! I look forward to our next get together! I just wish we all lived closer it would be nice to meet everyone... perhaps one day they will have star trek transporters and we can all get together (see? there is MY crazy coming out!)

- Soozan
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: LuckyLou on March 01, 2015, 06:25:48 am
Hey gang I agree it would be so nice to get together! I live to far away though! But maybe I could take the train to Toronto one day. If planned in advance I could definitely try! Would be very cool!
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: Dragonfly on March 02, 2015, 09:06:51 pm
Thats not crazy about star trek transporters Soozan. I believe that one day somehow we are going to travel through time. I bet you there are other species that are much smarter and sophisticated than we are.

I like your saying that you want to dance to the beat of your own drum.

Thanks everyone for what you all wrote.

Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: momfellinglost on March 04, 2015, 08:26:42 pm
I am sure if ask most people what normal means bet they couldn't tell you. When you ask them what crazy is bet they have definate ideas of what that is. I have know so called normal people that i can only describe as ,and excuse the wording batsh*t crazy. And those who are crazy and more normal than most. They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. So if we are crazy we are in some real good company. They are a lot of real smart caring kind people on this site who are called crazy and can teach the world a thing or two about how to treat people.
Title: Re: what is normal
Post by: LuckyLou on March 05, 2015, 07:30:25 am
Mom I couldn't agree more!