MDAO Forum

Support for People with Mood Disorders => General Discussion => Topic started by: Pleeb on December 03, 2014, 08:21:55 pm

Title: bad feeling in stomach......
Post by: Pleeb on December 03, 2014, 08:21:55 pm
Not sure what emotion I'm feeling.

 My younger brother R has a photographic memory for family history.

My father worked at the same small meat market for ages......almost all the guys there German speaking.
My father received part of his salary in meat...a lotta much that my mother had to throw a lot of it out and not tell him - bad temper. He must've been dumb not to notice she did that. R said she buried the excess in the backyard - didn't know that.

 I knew the above except for burying the meat.......R said they started paying him partly in meat because they caught him stealing meat!!!! (not sure how they worked that out?) I only learned this yesterday.
 Ironically, the ONLY life advice my father ever gave me was "don't steal."

 My father could've gotten a higher paying union job (before the theft?) at Canada Packers, a giant company.....he didn't want to because then he'll have to improve his English. I guess he mainly spoke German at work.

Title: Re: bad feeling in stomach......
Post by: Pleeb on December 03, 2014, 08:29:59 pm
Re my father rarely giving advice, he was a "hands off" father.  (contrary to popular opinion, not everyone should be a parent!!!!!)
My mother did most of the child rearing (5 boys).....paid the bills, signed report cards, shovelled the snow all the time!!!!

My folks were from East Prussia, a part of Germany adjoining Lithuania....the Russkies took it over during WWII.
I didn't know until late in life that my VERY shy, anxious mother was pressured by her parents to marry him because his family had $.....the $ disappeared when they fled the Russians.  Never imagined that my father was from a semi-monied family!

Title: Re: bad feeling in stomach......
Post by: Dragonfly on December 04, 2014, 09:24:47 pm

Sometimes I wish that had asked my parents and in-laws more questions about their past.

My Dad was never very good with us when we were little. He did better with us when we got older. On the whole he was a good father and more affectionate later on. My Mother was very patient and taught us many thinks. Not very demonstrative in the affection department. I was the 4th child. There were six of us. Two older sisters, one older brother and two younger brothers.
All of us kids figured that our Mother had some type of mental illness. I guess that is were I got it from.
What was bad in my family is that my Mother and Father fought a lot. They were not nice to each other. My Mother was mean, held grudges and knew how to push my Dad's buttons. He called her bad names. I used to cry when they fought. Sometimes it was very tense in our family.

My parents came over to Canada from The Netherlands. All us kids were born in Holland except for my younger brother.
My father was the talkative, outgoing one. My mother was shy, anxious and held back.

My parents did not have a lot of money. They both worked hard. They accomplished more in Canada than they would have in Holland.

Title: Re: bad feeling in stomach......
Post by: Daniel F on December 05, 2014, 10:10:55 am
Hey Peter,

Sometimes when I notice I have a certain feeling/sensation in my body that I don't like and can't quite figure out why it's there, if I attribute it to emotional stuff, I try to give it a name. For example, when feeling very down/tired, etc., I have this feeling in my face that I call "heaviness" or "drained." One of my core feelings that underlies a lot of things for me I simply call "my sadness," and yes, a lot of it comes from childhood/family stuff.

Title: Re: bad feeling in stomach......
Post by: CanadianEm on December 08, 2014, 03:17:28 pm
Hey Peter,

I am sorry to hear that you are having this feeling, i hope it is getting better. I can understand how difficult it must be believing something through out your life to find out afterwards it wasn't what you believed at all. I think that is what you are trying to say. If i have gotten in wrong im sorry.

Personally after hearing your story i believe what you are feeling is like that your world is coming apart but that could just be my interpretation, because if i had grown up knowing one thing and then found out it was different, i would be thinking what else is a lie and then i would start thinking everything ive been told is a lie and start questioning everything i knew, making me feel very vulnerable.

Hope you are doing ok.
Title: Re: bad feeling in stomach......
Post by: Pleeb on December 09, 2014, 04:47:44 am
Hi, guys.....Thanks for your input.  I haven't been thinking about this recently, as I had my gall bladder out on Dec 5....still healing....I may have a separate post on that.