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Messages - Peace

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General Discussion / Re: Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings
« on: December 24, 2017, 09:33:52 am »
Merry Christmas everyone  :)

General Discussion / Re: "Christmas Eve"
« on: December 23, 2017, 07:06:11 am »
Hey everyone  :)

Very interesting facts Peter and Dragonfly. Thanks for sharing!

Peter, the gift from your nephew sounds perfect.

We started opening our stocking Christmas Eve years ago. We'll also be going to candlelight communion Christmas Eve. My oldest daughter and her boyfriend are sleeping over.

Christmas morning we'll open gifts, then I'm cooking Christmas dinner for me, my um ex-husband (strange situation), two daughters and their boyfriends.

Boxing Day we'll continue the family tradition my dad started 40 years ago and gather at my sister's. Both daughters and their boyfriends will be going to that.

I'm super excited this year that both daughters are staying in town, and their boyfriends will also be attending. They all get along really well.

Merry Christmas  :D

Good luck to you, Peter!


General Discussion / Re: OCD video
« on: November 13, 2017, 07:15:54 am »
That was excellent, Buddy Mack, thank you for sharing.

Jeff Szymanski has been mentioned in the treatment program I'm attending a few times. I liked how he made reference to how disturbing it is for those of us with true OCD to hear people say "I have some OCD, or I used to have some OCD, I like my towels a certain way." Everything he talked about are things I'm learning in treatment, so he's very much a legitimate OCD resource.

Hope you're doing well.


General Discussion / Re: I've Found OCD Treatment
« on: October 12, 2017, 05:39:53 am »
Will do, Buddy.

2 hours of assisted ERP in the morning, 2 hours of self-directed ERP in the afternoon, 2 hours of CBT and group discussion about our progress the remainder of the day.  :)

First day a success in that I was able to have lunch and dinner in the public cafeteria without the aid of lorazepam or any other coping method (sunglasses, iPod to drown out sounds),  and after dinner and a bit of alone time in my room I went to a public area to read some of the literature and do some homework. :)

General Discussion / I've Found OCD Treatment
« on: October 10, 2017, 04:47:51 am »
Hello everyone  :)

You've all heard me talk about the lack of treatment for OCD. Well, I found treatment I can access!!   :D :D

This is where perseverance pays off. I may become dejected at times and think "why bother?", but a day or two later I'm back in the ring fighting. I emailed somewhere that had treatment, but online said I didn't qualify for due to boundaries, fully expecting the usual "we have nothing for you, try this place." Instead I got a reply about a residential OCD treatment program with a link to a partially completed website. I'm assuming the program is new since no once else I had spoken with were aware of it, and since the website wasn't complete. A short time later I received another email saying the website is complete.

I rushed the paperwork through, with the help of my psychiatrist, and within a month of my email being replied to I'm being accepted to treatment. The duration is 4 to 16 weeks, dependent on certain factors determined during treatment. Since it all happened so quickly I don't know if I'll be home weekends, and I don't know if I'll have online access.

I'll share the details of the treatment program upon my return, knowing how hard treatment is to find. This program is available to all Ontario residents.

Thanks so much for listening to me, offering me excellent advice, and just in general being here for me for many years. You're all wonderful!


Paul, best wishes with the move. It's always a stressful time getting ready for to move, the actual move, unpacking and getting set up, then an adjustment period.

Dragonfly, have a wonderful time away with your family.  :) When you share your adventures it brings back fond memories of camping with my family growing up and the fun times I spent with my children when we owned a trailer.

I guess the big thing in my life is after years of searching I have found OCD treatment I can access. The referral is currently with my psychiatrist for him to complete and submit. After the referral is received I wait 3 to 6 weeks and hopefully will advance to a phone interview. Wish me luck!

My sister has taken a road trip to the east coast. She had been posting to Facebook and the day after a huge thunderstorm her last seen time disappeared from Facebook, meaning she hadn't been on Facebook for at least 24 hours. I started imagining her and her boyfriend had encountered bad weather and gotten into a fatal accident. My sister has gone away before and I haven't worried, I think the difference this time is we just lost our brother so unexpectedly, and out of a family of 6 there's only my sister and I left. My initial reaction was to message everyone she knows to find out if they had heard from her, but I didn't want to set off false panic. I had my daughter text her, and within a couple of hours my sister texted back that she was okay. I was SO relieved.

I'm currently planning a birthday gathering for my oldest daughter. She'll be 24 soon. Pizza, ice cream cake, and board games. Looking forward to that.

I still have a lot of fear of how I'll manage and where I'll live upon sale of our home next year. Rent is very expensive in my city and the choices are abysmal. Hopefully if I can get into the treatment I need I'll become stronger and better able to fight my fears.

Hoping to hear from Peter, Stenacron Man, and anyone else who may wish to join in.  :)


Not ignoring, just having one of my not feeling very well days. On these days my OCD makes communicating much more time consuming and exhausting.

Will reply when I'm feeling better.

Miss you all.

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« on: August 04, 2017, 08:50:23 pm »
I'm sorry it took me a couple of days to answer, Dragonfly. OCD overthinking is making it hard for me to think clearly, and I just read what you said many times and drew a complete mind blank.

I'm very sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. My counsellor wants me to find grief therapy because she said the loss of someone can often trigger other losses. I imagine you must be missing your husband right now.

I'm very relieved to hear that your family understands you not attending, we really do need that type of support.

Forgive me, I really am at a loss for words lately.

My daughter shares the car with her sister so pops in to pick up/drop off frequently. Often when she does she will stay to have a meal with us.


General Discussion / MDAO Link - Caring For Someone Living With OCD
« on: August 04, 2017, 11:55:06 am »
I didn't realize this was here until I googled something to do with OCD. I find it informative and hope it will help people with OCD or people who know someone with OCD.


General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« on: August 03, 2017, 07:41:06 pm »
Hey Buddy  :)

General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« on: August 03, 2017, 06:22:27 am »
I haven't heard the term myself, so I tried to google and read about it. The one article I clicked on was so poorly written, it triggered my OCD. A professional website posted an article with the author using words like cause instead of because, and starting several sentences with so. I digress, just needed to vent a bit to alleviate some of my anxiety.

From what I read, Peter is correct in saying it's a form of DBT.

Here's an article that I believe explains radical acceptance well.

Good luck to you, Dragonfly. I've always found you to be a lovely, caring, open woman who deserves the very best.  :)



General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« on: July 30, 2017, 01:19:05 pm »
I'm hanging in.  :)

There finally seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel regarding getting our house ready to put up for sale. It's been a long road getting it in order. Our target to put the sign up is Spring 2018.

My oldest moved in with her boyfriend in June. I really miss her. My youngest changed jobs because she'd worked every single holiday as well as was working 6 days a week, including double split shifts on the weekends, at a restaurant. She asked 4 months in advance for 5 days off for her best friends birthday (she moved 4 hours away) and was told the week before she was to leave she couldn't have the time off. She called me on the phone in tears asking me if she should hand in her resignation if when she talked to her manager they still wouldn't give her the time off, and I said yes, which is what she ended up doing. I'm quite proud of her for assertiveness dealing with this.

Emotionally I'm good one day and very productive, then the next riddles with IBS, obsessing, compulsions, anxiety, per usual. I'm very thankful for the good days, and just try to ride out the bad ones.

How are you doing, Dragonfly?

General Discussion / Re: Family Illness
« on: July 20, 2017, 08:08:48 pm »
I was able to attend the visitation, service, and reception. My family, especially my daughters, were amazing throughout it all.

They put up with my numerous hours of obsessing over getting a ride and having a seat that would allow me to escape should I need to. To ease my torment they assured they would be there every step of the way. When I ran into difficulty at one point because I became surrounded by people they saw me mouth the words "I'm trapped" and they were immediately at my side. When I needed to escape to the bathroom they were with me. When I needed a hug they were there for me. When I ran into difficulty during the reception they understood and helped me through. They very patiently waited until I was ready, they did not rush me in any way, then when I asked if we could visit the neighbourhood I grew up in with my family of origin they said yes with no hesitation whatsoever.

Emotionally I can feel absolutely nothing at all, a numbness, then a deep sadness on a different day. My OCD has gotten better slightly better, thankfully.

Monday made me realize how truly blessed I am.


General Discussion / Re: Family Illness
« on: July 15, 2017, 02:06:13 pm »
I'm sorry for the loss of your brother, Paul, and the sadness you're feeling.

Thank you for the kind words and thoughts. You're a good person.

The service is on Monday, and my anxiety over attendance has been so high on Thursday I spent from 5 am to about 7 pm obsessing over it. Finding a ride, having a seat where I could escape if I panic, sort of obsessing.

I'm hoping I'll be feeling a bit better by Tuesday. Currently I'm one big huge mess.

Thank you to all for being here for me.


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