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Messages - Peace

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General Discussion / Re: Anxious and Going Out
« on: April 08, 2017, 11:32:11 pm »
Thank you, Dragonfly  :)

General Discussion / Re: Anxious and Going Out
« on: April 08, 2017, 08:27:05 am »
Thanks so much, Buddy. You give wonderful advice. It turned out to be a decent enough outing. I was very anxious, but made it home in one piece. Imagine that!   8)

General Discussion / Anxious and Going Out
« on: April 03, 2017, 06:46:48 am »
I have my appointment with my psychiatrist today and it's one of my off days. I barely cope these days to to combine going to the appointment with a bad day and it's pure agony.

Does anyone have any tips?

General Discussion / Re: OCD
« on: March 08, 2017, 12:56:24 pm »
I'm sorry, Dragonfly for not replying sooner. I really do appreciate your kind thoughts.


General Discussion / Re: OCD
« on: February 25, 2017, 05:15:48 am »
Thank you, Buddy.  :)

I'm about to answer your message. Your offer to help is much appreciated.


General Discussion / Re: OCD
« on: February 25, 2017, 05:14:32 am »
Thank you, Paul.

I've had some experience with I hadn't yet checked out iocdf's website and really appreciate the link.  :)

General Discussion / Re: Received a real shock today
« on: February 25, 2017, 05:06:41 am »
Dragonfly, you are obviously a very caring person, that's evident from your postings over the years.

I think something like this creates a lot of different thoughts and feelings and everything you're thinking and feeling is perfectly natural.

My nephew is an addict currently in remission and yes my sister enabled him, but every single choice she made, she made out of love. The hardest thing she ever had to do was take her son to a homeless shelter when having him in her home was taking too much toll on her health and her relationship with her boyfriend. Afterwards when she talked about her decision I made sure to let her know that she went above and beyond for her son, and in no way could she be faulted for the decisions she made.

To me the worst possible thing anyone involved in this situation could do is lay blame. I'm fairly certain guilt will be prevalent amongst those who knew this gentleman. What would be the point now in saying "why didn't they", energy should be spent trying to reassure them they are not at fault for his choices. If anything, the long wait lists within the mental health system, the gaps in treatment, and the stigma associated with mental illness is at fault (in my opinion).

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time and we're here for you.


General Discussion / OCD
« on: February 22, 2017, 02:53:46 pm »
I'm tormented.

In all of Ontario I found one hospital that treats OCD outpatient. Where I live I found one psychologist who claims to treat OCD who will charge me $215 per hour and is 3 buses away. He did not return my phone call requesting telephone or online therapy.

Has anyone with OCD found anything at all? An online support group? Anything. I'm desperate.

General Discussion / Re: What OCD Really Looks Like
« on: January 26, 2017, 08:52:41 pm »
Hello Stenacron man and welcome  :)

I have a psychiatrist that I have a great deal of faith in. I've been diagnosed with OCD, agoraphobia, PTSD, and depression. I am confident my diagnosis are accurate.

As far as the tracing goes, I believe it's an OCD compulsion. It went away for a while, only to return when my stress level increased, resulting in anxiety. I have never touched what I trace, I do it from a distance, and more with my eyes than with my finger.

I started this post because I wanted to share the link and in an effort to educate about OCD. There's so  much misconception about it. So many like to throw out terms like "I'm so OCD about this and that" and it's upsetting to have a very serious condition minimized in that manner. I've tried for many years to explain OCD and could never find the right words, and I thought the photo's in the link did a good job of explaining.


General Discussion / Re: Are natural remedies vs big pharma
« on: January 24, 2017, 06:24:44 am »
Thanks for keeping us so well informed!

I'll mention this to my sister, who purchases store brand gluconate sulfate, and my daughter who takes a variety of supplements due to her vegan diet.

General Discussion / Re: What OCD Really Looks Like
« on: January 24, 2017, 06:18:48 am »
Thank you, Paul, for both your kind words and for your efforts.  :)

General Discussion / What OCD Really Looks Like
« on: January 22, 2017, 09:31:00 am »
This link is excellent. Numbers 11, 14, 17 and 22 are good depictions of what my OCD is like.

I wrote the following recently because I'm back to seeking treatment and advocating, and I think I may actually be obsessing now about having OCD. I wrote it with the hopes that I may actually be able to find help or find someone to listen. I titled it "This is What my OCD Looks Like." OCD takes on many forms, changes in such a way that one obsession/compulsion goes away only to be replaced by a different one, and is different for everyone.

                                           This is What My OCD Looks Like

Symmetry, orderliness and sorting have caused me to take 5 hours to perform a simple task like taking the garbage out because I “fix” each room I go into.

I re-read and I re-write. I can take 8 hours on a simple email and several days on a simple note.

I trace patterns in lines with either my index finger or my eyes. I’ve traced curtains with pleats, television and computer screens, picture frames, tables, trees, fences, lamp posts. I can’t even go for a walk or watch television to escape this compulsion.

I am terrified I may hurt another person’s feelings.

I avoid the numbers 6 and 13 because they are “bad” numbers, and I count and repeat until I encounter a “good” number.

I will research a simple purchase endlessly.

I seek reassurance and have irritated many by doing so.

I have a strong aversion to any type of change. My agoraphobia is complicated by my OCD in that if I leave home and change takes place I panic.

I have had contamination and scrupulosity relating to religion, and still have scrupulosity, just not as severe as when I was phoning my minister several times a day seeking reassurance I wasn’t sinning.

I do most tasks (cooking, household chores, showering) when I'm alone because if I'm interrupted it can send me into an OCD loop or into crisis.

When my anxiety level is high I can’t tolerate sound and even the slightest sound can cause me to become distressed.

I avoid situations that might trigger my obsessions or compulsions.

My mind rarely stops thinking, and I’m exhausted as a result. I have difficulty sleeping. I will sleep a couple of hours, then wake and perform the tracing compulsion behind closed eyes. Lack of sleep makes OCD worse.

OCD is a severe and debilitating anxiety disorder affecting one adult in 40, making it twice as common as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. OCD can be so debilitating and disabling that the World Health Organisation (WHO) has ranked OCD in the top ten of the most disabling illnesses of any kind in terms of lost earnings and diminished quality of life.

Thanks to everyone for being here and for listening.  :)


General Discussion / Re: Did I do the right thing
« on: January 12, 2017, 07:10:08 am »
Hello mom, Dragonfly, and paul  :) Great to see you all!

I've noticed many comments on the internet are very judgemental without people knowing the facts, and sometimes abusive. It appals me. I don't mean you mom when I say that, I've felt this way for a while.

I'm not anti-med in any way. I do believe they serve a purpose. I also believe they could be administered more conscientiously at times. Benzo's on an as needed basis rather than taken regularly, as an example. Start low and increase slow to reduce side effects and over-medication. Take into consideration the patients tolerance to medication. Explanation that the med side effects will most likely decrease over time and the average time it takes for the med to help you feel better and reach maximum effect. I've seen many people stop their medication due to side effects and to me it's sad because it may have been prevented with proper information.

You did the right thing, mom. It's obvious your intentions were good, and you provided a resource in an attempt to help the parents. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.


General Discussion / Re: Have a safe and happy holiday season
« on: December 25, 2016, 11:30:15 am »
Merry Christmas, Paul

Merry Christmas everyone

I'm extremely grateful to you all for the support you've all given me over time. You're all wonderful.

I love your saying Paul. It's very fitting and helps me feel better about myself.

Wishing everyone health, happiness, and a safe holiday.

General Discussion / Christmas Preparations
« on: December 19, 2016, 06:49:33 am »
Hello everyone,

Checking in to see how everyone is doing with their Christmas preparations, as well as to get an update on everyone's plans.

My social organization's in the office Christmas gathering is on the 22nd and I'm going to try to go. They also have one at a venue out of the office that I've been to in the past, but am too anxious to go to right now. Future goals.

Christmas Eve if I'm feeling well enough I'd like to go to candlelight communion with my daughter and her boyfriend, if they want to go. So far my daughter is on board. We usually open stockings Christmas Eve.

Christmas Day we'll have a nice breakfast, open gifts, and have the traditional Christmas dinner with turkey.

Boxing Day I'm going to be baking and preparing for going to my sister's next day. I'm taking a crackers and cheese plate, cookies, and carrot cake. I want to bake the carrot cake on Boxing Day. I have a recipe that turns out nice every time and is so moist I never make the cream cheese icing.

On the 27th my daughters, my daughter's boyfriend, and I will be attending the family gathering at my sister's place. My nephew, his wife, and their daughter (she's almost 2) will be there for the first time in years. They live in USA. Looking forward to that.

In previous years my sister would take me shopping and I would do some on my own at Shoppers Drug Mart and the Dollar Store (stocking stuffers) about a 10 to 15 minute walk from my home by going out once it was dark out on days I felt well. This year I did all my shopping on my own without my sister's help through walking to the mall after dark, and through online. Proud of myself for that.  :)

My daughter's boyfriend is flying in today at 6 PM and will be staying with us for 2 weeks. Bit anxious about that.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone.  :)


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