MDAO Forum

Support for People with Mood Disorders => General Discussion => Topic started by: Dragonfly on October 14, 2014, 11:54:06 am

Title: Thanksgiving is not always fun
Post by: Dragonfly on October 14, 2014, 11:54:06 am
Hi everyone,

I am afraid I am going to do some ranting here.
The bright spot of my camping Thanksgiving weekend was my grandchildren & my two daughters.
I have a camping spot with my 2 daughters. My son, daughter-in-law and my 2 grandkids another site and my dauther-in-law's parents have a separate site. They bring their son and girlfrend and 2 dogs a mastif and beagle puppy.
All of us have a campfire at night together. Everyone gets drunk except for me (on too many drugs) and my 2 daughters who only drink a few wine coolers. These drunk people stagger around, become rude, loud, sometimes throwup. My son is one of these drunk people.
His kids already drink their juice and then pretend they are throwing up. A very bad example is being set for them.
Sunday we all have turkey dinner together. I don't enjoy this.
Saturday they have Halloween in the park and the kids get dressed up in their costumes and go around. Most campers decorate their sites for Halloween. That is another fun part of the evening. The owner of the mastif has the dog on a chain. The dog goes nuts with all the kids in costumes and masks. The owner says he won't bite anyone. I think he will the way he growls and carries on. He is protecting his territory.
My daughter-in-law's brother makes his money by doing something very illegal.
 I am probably bullying him. I call him a wuss and a baby. His mother and live in girl friend do everything for him. He is 30 yrs. old. They cook for him, do laundry. His Mom always cut up his food into his twenties. He demands that one of the women make a sandwich for him at night. His mother or sister usually cave in and make him one. He asked me and I said you are asking the wrong person.
I was in tears yesterday and this morning about the weekend. I called Halton Coast. The lady listened to me. She informed me this was a crisis line. More for people that were suicidal, etc. She gave me three numbers for distress lines. I have tried them in the past. They are always busy. I know where she was coming from about it being a crisis line and I may be blocking out someone's call who needed help now. When she told me this I said why should I bother phoning then.
I believe my son might be self medicating himself with alchol and cigarettes because he suffers from bipolar like me. He denies it.
I phoned the crisis line. I didn't want to burden my kids with my problems.
I will see my caseworker tomorow. I just had to talk to someone. In the past I talked to my husband.
I apologize for being so long winded.
This forum helps so much by being able to rant and rave.
Thanks to anyone for reading this.

Title: Re: Thanksgiving is not always fun
Post by: JennyRN70 on October 14, 2014, 02:05:13 pm
sorry to hear that things did not go well for you this weekend - it's hard when our families disappoint us and ruin what should be a nice time together - thinking of you (((hugs)))
Title: Re: Thanksgiving is not always fun
Post by: paulm on October 14, 2014, 11:43:47 pm
Hello Dragonfly. Sorry that you didn't have a good long weekend. No need to apologize for being long winded.

 I know that you weren't camped at the same place I was because I would have noticed the beagle puppy. (beagles are either great or a pain in the butt, depending on the owner, but the puppies are always cute)

 I can't stand being around drunks much anymore, partly because I too have had to quit drinking due to my meds, but I never could stand loud obnoxius drunks.

 I never trust any dog, when they are in an environment they are not used to(not even my own dog and she's as gentle as they come). Dogs do protect territory and they can also react badly to unfamiliar sights and scenes.  So you were right to be worried, although there was probably very little you could do.

 In regards to your son self medicating. There could be a variety of reasons why he does this.  All you can do is get some simple info(brochures etc) and ask him to read them at his leisure for the sake of his Mom.

 He may not read them, he may say no, but at least you will have tried and maybe place a few ideas in his head. 

 If you or someone you know has access to a printer below are some good articles on mood disorders. There is also an article about anxiety and drinking. I used to have a few drinks when I went to a wedding dance or reunion etc to help calm my nerves, long before I ever knew what the word bipolar even meant. 

 I was never a heavy drinker overall , but as a young man I ended up drinking fairly heavily at some of those social events.  I spent more than a few nights on the bathroom floor, not something that I am proud of,  How did it affect my kids? Both in their 30's now, neither one drinks much. They say how it affected Dad. I'm not saying that happens in all families, but perhaps you will be lucky and your grandchildren will come to realize that getting bombed has it's price.

 Three of the articles are from the MDAO  Take Care. Paul m
Title: Re: Thanksgiving is not always fun
Post by: momfellinglost on October 16, 2014, 11:17:38 pm
I am sorry that their behaviour caused you so much stress. I have always found that people who do these kinds of things never see just how they look to others. I don't drink either and have never objected to others who do but at the same time I have never liked to see the sloppy kind of drunks. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom but I don't have any other than to say I understand how you feel. I normally think of this kind of thing(drunkeness) as a past time for young people who are trying out their choices and mostly stops when kids come along.
Title: Re: Thanksgiving is not always fun
Post by: paulm on October 19, 2014, 02:21:46 am
Hello Dragonfly. How are you making out? You had a pretty traumatic weekend at Thanksgiving. I hope that you are feeling better. Take Care. paul m
Title: Re: Thanksgiving is not always fun
Post by: Dragonfly on October 21, 2014, 10:42:41 am
Thank you JennyRN70 and momfeelinglost for replying.

 Paul I touched on some of the points you brought up in this post in my other post about my son's drinking. Thank you for your concern.

This camping thanksgiving weekend is an annual event with my immediate family and my daughter-in-laws family.
I talked about what happened with my caseworker. This forum and her listening to me helped me a great deal.
My two daughters and I have made up our minds that next year we will have our own camp fire if people get drunk. I have made this clear to my son.

I am feeling better now. It certainly helps to write and talk things out.

Hope everyone else is doing well.