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Topics - k9sedona

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General Discussion / Silence in arguments
« on: April 14, 2015, 08:41:32 am »
My mate is furious about something and won't tell me what (4 days now). I guessed at the issue yesterday and where appropriate, apologized. But the anger continues and frankly, she scares me. Her anger terrifies me. Last night I felt cornered. If I went to bed with her, I'd wake her up and if I didn't, she'd be mad that I didn't (we've had that discussion). I decided in the interest of self-care, that I wasn't going to inject myself into a scary situation (sleeping together) which this morning, felt good - Sunday night I couldn't catch my breath when she came in after me, I was so anxious. This morning, She did not storm down to the basement as is her pattern, which was a relief.

It takes 2 to be in a relationship and I can't read her mind. She "doesn't have anger issues", yet doomed conversations escalate quickly and loudly into black and white, all or nothing and I am the sole cause of our problems; what I do, say, who I am, etc. Yet, last week, we exchanged genuine "I love you" statements throughout the days, every day so to go from that to this is very confusing. I've asked her what is wrong in the past (as this is not a one-of situation) and get the "you don't know?","I'm not going to tell you" crap. I'm looking to do something different this time (again) but I don't know what... Any ideas?

What I think is: not communicating the problem is abuse, maintaining anger that she knows scares me is abuse, being angry if I do or don't sleep with her is nasty. Leaves me in quite the state of fear.

I'm really quite terrified of her anger - which can sometimes be described as rage.

Any thoughts?

General Discussion / Doctor's believing me
« on: December 06, 2014, 06:36:21 pm »
(So, I'm not making this up - you can't make this much up!) This time last year I made a serious an attempt to end my life. Failed in my attempt to get to the river and ended up in the hospital. But after the first and only pdoc (who laughed that my blood alcohol level was so high) no one talked to me - like seriously, not a single soul asked how I was doing or inquired into my state. One nurse said she was going to but then went onto another task and never returned. My family doc told my wife that "I wasn't serious", that I was "seeking attention". Sure as hell was real for me.... She then ceased taking my calls at her office. I didn't know this until about a month ago and that explained why I couldn't get to her (for non-psych issues). Now I suspect that is part of my chart and that ER's are no longer a resource.

Last night I found myself in the same state and curled up under a table in the basement. I commented to my wife this morning that maybe I should go to the ER, that I wasn't feeling safe at all and she discouraged that but did spend the day with me. If I'm alone and not doing well, shouldn't the ER be a resource?

Anyone else with problems convincing professionals that you ARE serious?

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