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Topics - Dragonfly

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General Discussion / How is everyone doing this summer
« on: July 28, 2017, 12:59:55 pm »
Hi everyone, How is everyone doing?

Peace how is it going with you?

Paul have you found a new place to live. Is your internet doing any better?

Stenacron man how are things going with you. Peter how are you doing?

Sorry if I have left anyone out. Always interested in how people are doing.


General Discussion / radical acceptance
« on: July 28, 2017, 11:24:58 am »
Hi everyone
I am having a very hard time accepting the fact that I can't do things like I used to. This is due mainly because of age and health. I talked about this with my caseworker (visits me every few weeks to see how I am doing mentally - works with my pdoc who I see but less frequently).

She mentioned radical acceptance. I had never heard this term before. I looked it up on the internet. I guess it means accepting something you can't change and moving on. For example I love gardening. I look out at my garden and become very frustrated. I can't take care of it the way I used to. I would like to do many things to it to make it look good. If I do it tires me out so much that I can't function well for the rest of the day. If my family comes unexpectly on that day it is very difficult to visit with them because of tiredness.

I feel very unhappy about the things I can't do anymore. Lots of things. Not just gardening. I start to have many negative thoughts about the things that didn't go well in my life.  I have been having very unpleasant dreams which I remember in the morning.

Has anyone heard of this term: radical acceptance? Can anyone identify with the feelings that I am having as to more limitations as to what they can do?


I was trying to visit with my two daughters yesterday. I got really, really angry at them. They were both on their cell phones looking up information, on facebook, etc.

I know there was another issue underneath the anger I felt with my girls. I spoke earlier in my post about my son who is separated from his wife and her brother committed suicide. I knew the deceased and his family well. We camped with them.

I was trying to talk myself into going to the visitation yesterday afternoon to support my son and grandchildren. I felt guilty. I saw my son's ex earlier that day and I told her I was very sorry about her brother's death. I told her how close I had been to suicide one time. Not to blame herself nor should her family. Her brother was in so much pain and considered himself worthless and a burden to his family. She asked if their was any grievance conselling and I said the funeral home could provide that.

I think I am so upset because it is bringing back all the times when I was extremely depressed and had suicidal ideas. One suicidal sttempt but a cry for help. And another upsetting thing is that the deceased is having visitation and service at the funeral home where my late husband's funeral was. More memories and how much I miss him. I can't seem to stop crying.

I feel like a hypocrite. The deceased was very mentally ill like I have been in the past. I just can't seem to accept his immature and spoiled behaviour. Very disrespectfull (can't seem to spell properly), immoral actions, bragging, very loud and full of himself. Behind all this a very low self esteem.  These behaviors are the very opposite to the way my family things. The parents enabled this. I don't have much respect for the whole family. I believe I am now being very judgemental.

My daughters tell me I should forget about how that family acts and not worry about it. Of course, worried about the influence they have on my grandchildren. My daughters, my son and and I  with love and care for them and will  instill as much as possible for them to be moral and  to treat people the way they would want to be treated. My youngest daughter makes this statement all the time.

Well it is time to start thinking positive again and move on. I know I am not supose to apologize for the long post. Thanks for reading it.


General Discussion / Received a real shock today
« on: February 25, 2017, 12:15:03 am »
This morning I was sleeping in bed and I heard the key in my front door. I thought it was my daughter coming home saying she was not needed at work. It turned out to be my son and my two grandchildren. My granddaughter was crying. My son said something bad had happened. I didn't know what but it sounded very serious. It scared me.
My son told me that his ex.'s brother had taken his own life.
Apparently my son found out that he had been depressed for awhile and was getting psyciatric help next week. Unknown to my son his girlfriend broke up with him around Christmas.
The man that took his own life was living with his parents. He was previously in jail for 3 months. He was dealing drugs and lost his driver's licence. His mother found him.
I knew this man. I have mixed feelings about him passing.  He was not a nice person. He made fun of my grandchildren and made my granddaughter cry. They didn't particularly like him. There are no words to describe what his parents and sister are feeling though and I feel for them. This was my grandchildren's uncle.
I am not trying to lay the blame on anyone. I guess maybe I am. His parents enabled him. They gave him no direction. They let him do things and never questioned it.
I feel that we must protect my grandchildren. I don't know if I am using the right words for this tragic happening. Am I a hypocrite? He must have been very sick mentally. Am I judging him?
I don't know if I am making sense. I am only thinking of my grandchildren and how it is effecting my son.
I must say if I knew he was that mentally ill I would have tried to help him to get him the medical care he needed. There is going to be a lot of guilt feelings. His ex. girlfriend talked all day to him off and on the day before. He kept saying he was going to commit suicide.
Please tell me if you think I have no feelings.
I am very mixed up about this happening. I do feel very badly about this man taking his own life. I think I am contradicting myself. I do care. It has not sunk in yet. I would give the world to have him back for his own sake and for his mother, father, sister and friends.
My daughters and I took care of my grandchildren today. My grandson doesn't understand. My granddaughter does somewhat.
This is striking very close to home. If only someone could have helped him.


General Discussion / how is everyone doing?
« on: February 10, 2017, 03:57:50 pm »
Hi everyone,

Just wondering how everyone is doing. It is snowing here right now. I am looking at planning some camping trips. This helps a little to combat the winter time blues.
On the whole I am doing okay. Always thinking about my big kids- 35, 37 and 40 years old and my two grandchildren.
Always a joy to watch my grandson at hockey games (he is 7 yrs. old) and my granddaughter (10 yrs. old) and grandson at swimming lessons.
I guess I am just going with the flow of life. Sometimes you try to plan everything in your life. As I have found out that doesn't work. I guess that is okay.


General Discussion / I am not pleased with my family doctor - any advice
« on: January 27, 2017, 12:35:16 pm »
Hi everyone,
I am not at all happy with the treatment that my family doctor gives me nor the care she has given my daughter.

I suffer from bipolar II and other health problems. In hindsight I know that I suffered from bipolar mental illness since the age of 12. I was diagnosed at age 30. I am now 66. It has been a long journey. For the most part I am now stable. Some of the drugs I was on have left me with health problems. I see a psychiatrist. Due to my diabetes and having been on lithium for years I am now seeing a kidney specialist  for chronic kidney disease, an eye specialist, diabetes specialist . I have seen a neurologist to test my nerve function. I have had a heart stress test. Many other tests.

My family doctor has been good in referring me to specialists for my health problems. I have been sent to a kidney specialist a little late. She could have picked up on my creatinine (pardon my spelling) level much sooner. I had a physical done by her and she hardly did anything.

My daughter was in a car accident. She hurt her back, arms and her left knee very badly. My eldest daughter and I took her to emergency where she had x-rays done. The doctor told her she needed physiotherapy for her knee. My daughter followed up with the family doctor. She didn't even examine my daughter. The doctor just wrote down, whiplash, hurt knee, etc. My daughter went back to her and at urging from my daughter sent her for an aultra-sound of her knee. There was a problem and her doctor never got back to her and the physiotherapist had to fax for the results. My daughter went back to her GP and reguested an MRI which she is getting.

I feel that the family doctor is not treating my daughter and I properly. We have had her for 26 years. I think it is time to change doctors. Should my daughter do it after she has the MRI.

I am not sure if I should change doctors since I have so many specialists looking after me. If I changed I would have to go through my whole life history. Would I be able to keep the same specialists that I have? Finally I have found specialists that are very good.

Any advice would be helpful.


General Discussion / How is everyone doing this summer?
« on: July 19, 2016, 10:20:13 pm »
Hi everyone,

Just hoping everyone is doing as well as expected.

In the last while I have had some very unpleasant things happen. I am not going to go into it. I have my three kids and my 2 grandchildren. That is what counts.


General Discussion / Easter
« on: March 24, 2016, 12:07:22 pm »
Hi everyone,

Happy Easter to all of you.

I am spending Easter with my son in the new place he bought. His two kids will be there and my two daughters. We will have turkey dinner, easter egg hunt, etc. Should be fun.


General Discussion / how is everyone doing
« on: October 22, 2015, 08:41:35 am »
Hi everyone,

How are you doing Peace, Paul, LuckyLou, GrizzlyMantooth, Soozan and Rich, Peter, Daniel. Sorry if I have forgotten anyone. My mind is not as sharp as it used to be.

I am doing okay. I enjoy my son living with me and my grandchildren when they come. It does tire me out. It is worth it though.


General Discussion / information for children in school too soon
« on: October 20, 2015, 10:05:22 pm »
Hi everyone,

I don't know what Kathleen Wynne is thinking with her new program about sex and other subjects.

My granddaughter is 8 years old and in Grade 3. The class are being educated about different types of drugs. Where you get them, etc. She doesn't have a clue as to what her teacher is talking about. I agree that there is a time to teach kids about drugs and sex. Not at the age of 8 and in Grade 3. Don't take their innocence away at this early age. Around puberty would be soon enough and very good for the kids to know such information. (When kids ask questions about sex a simple answer should be sufficent at this age).

Very upset by this.

One thing I think is very important for kids to know at an early age is if anyone touches them in an inappropriate way such as the private parts, etc. the child should let their parents, teacher, someone they trust know. That it is not shameful to do that.


General Discussion / very upset by my granddaughter yelling at me
« on: October 15, 2015, 11:00:10 pm »
As some of you know my son is separated from his wife and living with me. The kids were at my house for a few hours with my son and I.

I did something that my granddaughter wasn't happy about. I didn't do anything bad. It was to help her and her brother. She started yelling at me in a very disrespectable voice. My son told her to apologize to me. She wouldn't and my son sent her up to her room that she has when she stays with us. My granddaughter sounded just like her Mother. My son realized this too. He doesn't know what to do about this disrespect. It really hurt me. My granddaughter is going through a lot right now. It is scary that she is copying how her Mother disrepects people.

Anyone got any insight into this.


General Discussion / I want revenge
« on: August 17, 2015, 12:54:29 pm »
Hi everyone,

My son has been living with me for about a month. Separated from his wife. His wife wanted the separation and was cheating on him. I so want to tell her off and when I see the boyfriend him also.
I cannot do this. I have to think of my grandchildren and my son.
When my son's wife comes to pick up the kids I am usually not around or if I see her I only talk about the kids to her. I don't even say hi to her.

The kids are taking swimming lessons in the fall. I go and watch them sometimes. I don't think I can sit with my son's wife and her mother who comes almost every week. If her boyfriend comes I don't know what I will do. I have never seen him in person. On facebook yes.

How can I control my temper and the feeling that I need revenge. I am scared to be around my son's wife, boyfriend and mother. They are all such losers. According to my pdoc and caseworker I am not suppose to use the word losers.

The kids were with my daughter-in-law on the weekend. She went camping. The kids spoke to their daddy on Sunday. They both missed there Daddy and wanted to come to my house where their Daddy lives now.
My daughter-in-law is there for the kids physically but not mentally or emotionally. She always has friends around and is constantly texting. The kids feel this and want to be with their daddy, my son who spends quality time with them.


General Discussion / How is everyone doing
« on: July 14, 2015, 07:09:53 pm »
Hi everyone,

How is everyone doing? Today the humidity is very bad. Hope everyone has AC.

My son is now living with me. The children live at my house part of the time. His wife has main custody of the children.

I can't get over how demanding she is when she drops off or picks up the children. His separated wife has no conscience whatsoever. She drops off her 2 kids at my house as much as possible. My son doesn't mind. He misses the kids so much. I could go on and on but I won't. The situation is what it is. I am still going on and on. My daughters and I support my son and 2 kids. We love them dearly. The ex-separated wife still wants my daughters and I to like her. Her boyfriend, lover, is now in the picture with his daughter (maybe 10 years old).

My grandchildren do not want to go home with their Mom when they are at my place. My 8 year old granddaughter hid behind the loveseat.

I have to stop thinking about it. It doesn't do me any good.

Hope everyone is having a nice summer and doing as well as they can.

Soon I will be camping again. My son and grandchildren will be there too as will my extended family on my side. I am sure I will enjoy every minute.

I hope I am not going on too much.


Hi everyone,

My son is coming to live with me for awhile (who knows how long) this sat. His wife wanted out of the marriage not him. They will have joint custody of the two kids. My son has to pay child support since he earns much more than she does. His wife will have a full time job in September and will make just over minimun wage. She has rented a townhouse for $ 1500.00 which must have been signed for by her Mom & Dad. She has no credit rating. She couldn't handle credit cards in the past.  She will get $ 1000.00 child support from my son and baby bonus (I don't know if that is what you call it now). I don't know if she will get more benefits since she is a single Mom. They made quite a bit on the sale of their house. In her mind she is already spending the money. No one can understand how she is going to make it.

Will his wife be able to go after my son for more money if she becomes desparate? Would she have to go to court to get more money from him? She has said he doesn't want alimony from him but that could change.

A separation agreement was made out. His wife will not sign it. She doesn't understand the words and thinks my son is putting one over on him. I keep telling him it should be signed. He won't listen. His wife has agreed on everything. They haven't made up the times when each will have the kids. She will be the primary.

For the last two to three weeks my son has had the kids every night except for two nights. Then she wanted him to take them too. Since he wouldn't and he needed a break his wife left them with her Mother. It is like she has given up total responsibility for them.

There are other aspects to this situation which I won't go into. Very worried about my grandchildren and son.


General Discussion / Happy Easter!
« on: April 03, 2015, 10:22:16 am »
Hi everyone,

Hope that all of you have a Happy Easter. The sun has come out this morning. That is a plus.

The easter bunny was in my yard this morning. Not really an easter bunny. The rabbit was there though. Always think it is a good sign when I see an animal outside.


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