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Messages - JennyRN70

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General Discussion / Re: Work life remains a hot mess
« on: April 23, 2015, 06:32:50 pm »
Hi Peter and Rich - well as far as LTC - that hits my depression button - I focus on death and dying in that environment and as to whether I am going to end up in that same spot when I am old - and the panic attack hasn't been the first one I have had in the ER but I made the decision after Saturday that I am done - like I said a data entry position would be a good fit.

General Discussion / Work life remains a hot mess
« on: April 21, 2015, 06:15:03 pm »
HI everyone - well for those of you you know me you know that I am a nurse and I have struggled with this career - but let's not fool anyone - since I started my first job as a teenager I have never really been able to keep myself employed for a long period of time - the longest period being in my 20's for almost 4 years - I am so sad and frustrated because I did find a great position that was low stress and monday to friday that paid fairly well and I got laid off 2 months in - not for anything I did but because of lack of work...anyway as I sit now I tried to go to work as a contract nurse in the ER on Saturday and had a full blown panic attack while I was there - so it looks like I can't even do it once in a while - my days as an ER nurse are over - which is fine - I just want something that is low stress and no shifts - office job with data entry or something like that - so that is where I am these days - oh and not likely eligible for ODSP as my spouse makes 6 figures but pays his ex wife almost 3/4 of it :(

General Discussion / Re: Seasons Greetings
« on: December 18, 2014, 07:43:02 pm »
Season's Greetings to everyone as well - I have like you Paul experienced some sad, lonely terrible Christmases - this year looks very promising - new medications are working well - starting a new lower stress monday to friday office job in Toronto in the new year - so I hope the rest of you get through the holidays with some happiness and low stress.


General Discussion / Re: Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« on: December 13, 2014, 09:24:00 pm »
So Sorry to hear you don't have you husband for the traditions - it seems this time of year is when it makes the loss more noticeable - my nanny used to be great baker and entertainer - and we would enjoy people coming over to our house - I don't have the ability to cope with putting on a party - I did invite my friend and her two girls for Christmas eve so I hope they do come over.  Don't feel bad about yelling at the kids - I would likely do the same thing if I was tired.

General Discussion / Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« on: December 12, 2014, 05:09:55 pm »
So it is that time of year again where we get the holidays stuffed down our throat - for many years now I have not been one to get excited/happy about this time of year - I lost my Nanny on December 21st in 1997 and have really never been the same since - I find it interesting that apparently over the month of December you are supposed to pretend that everything is okay - when often it it far from it - I can remember being suicidal 8 years ago Christmas eve - thankfully I am not ill like that anymore so I can deal with the holidays and I have a strong belief in God which is starting to help - it's hard as an only child though not to want that pile of presents I used to get when I was young (my Mom would often be manic and go Christmas shopping for me).  Anyway today I was shopping for baking ingredients and could almost feel my Nanny with me - it was nice - but I feel her more when I am at the cottage in the summer time.  Thanks for reading and I hope the rest of you can get through this time of year with minimal upset - and maybe even some happiness and fun.


General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 07, 2014, 12:26:27 pm »
Sitting here wishing I had a trip somewhere warm to look forward to :(  Need to stop torturing myself with pictures of Cuba and Mexico...even a sunny day outside and I still don't want to go out because I know it is cold - arghhh I hate this time of year :(

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 03, 2014, 09:49:31 am »
CanadianEm - making a business out of it might not be a bad idea - since tanning salons are not healthy we could have a "sensory salon" with video ocean and nice and warm - flowers and other tropical plants...hmmmmm

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: November 26, 2014, 03:47:59 pm »
Yup I am in the same boat too - I have SADD lamp that helps a little - my birds need it too - but I don't like this grey sky oppressive feeling at all - I miss colour - I feel like they should make sensory rooms you can visit - the butterfly conservatory in Niagara Falls is good for that as is the bird sanctuary there.  I keep hoping I can get away somewhere but it is unlikely this year because I have been off for the last 6 months :(  Hoping you all feel better soon.

General Discussion / Re: mania/depression, money and how would you feel?
« on: November 11, 2014, 04:39:12 pm »
Yes again I think Bob is likely the better person of the two of us - I do not do money very well and he has had to budget to live for his whole life - so I guess to keep us happy and together I will go for this and I am also hoping to get back to work in the next couple of weeks too so here's hoping for good luck - and Draginfly you do not sound like a goodie goodie or anything - you sound just like the rest of us :)

General Discussion / Re: mania/depression, money and how would you feel?
« on: November 11, 2014, 09:04:40 am »
I am so glad hear other couples do this Paul - He also has my charge card - it does make sense - it's just another one of those things that this illness takes away - mind you there are "normal" couples who have the same issue and likely don't do as well - thanks again Paul for your input.


General Discussion / mania/depression, money and how would you feel?
« on: November 10, 2014, 05:34:41 pm »
So as many of you know I have been off work for over 6 months with no financial input - my fiancé had been working ridiculous hours to keep us going and I found my spending really hasn't stopped - spending to feel better and spending when I feel good - so my fiancé has asked me to go to the bank and stop my access to the checking account and just have the savings account and he would put a limited amount of money there for gas and groceries and other things I might need I can ask him - he is very good about giving me money and has been paying for all of my courses - but I kind of feel like I am being treated like a child as I can seem to manage my money like an adult - anyway just wondered what you all thought about this - it feels like I am giving my freedom away somehow.

General Discussion / Re: Latuda starting tomorrow
« on: November 07, 2014, 08:38:28 pm »
I have thought about the suggestion about the stressful areas of nursing and of course trying to not work night because that is bad too - so I am applying for several positions that mainly are straight days.  I am disappointed that the Latuda put me into hypomania - this illness possess me off and makes me so frustrated :(

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: November 07, 2014, 08:34:57 pm »
I'm with you LuckyLou - I need to dig out my SADD light and get it plugged in for me and the birds - *sigh* wish I had on elf those lives that involved being in the south for the winter ....

General Discussion / Re: Latuda starting tomorrow
« on: November 06, 2014, 12:01:22 pm »
Hi all - I agree - the areas of nursing I chose are stressful - I hate to be bored - anyway - the Latuda has flipped me into a slight mania - so the Dr has me on it every other day starting today - not sure if I should be facing these stressful areas or not - I am going to talk to my friend about it today - she is a nurse also and might have an opinion about it. - Hope you are all well - thanks Rich - I think you might be right.


General Discussion / Re: Latuda starting tomorrow
« on: November 02, 2014, 07:52:12 pm »
Okay - just a Latuda update - for me this med is fantastic - not manic at all just normal and happy with a normal energy - have been on it for over 5 weeks now - had some pms issues but nothing like I usually get.  My negative thinking has been minimal - but does rear it's ugly head now and again.  The next test will be going back to work - that of course has been where my difficulties have been - but I am changing my speciality from ER to neonatal intensive care unit and maternity.  So that is me in a nutshell - my courses are going well and I am getting high grades - even compared to before meds and after meds change - I am more focused and less frustrated.

I hope you are all doing well - consider this med if you are needing something for bipolar depression that assists what you are on now.

Jen xoxox

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