MDAO Forum

Support for People with Mood Disorders => General Discussion => Topic started by: momfellinglost on September 12, 2016, 02:44:50 pm

Title: Looking for advice
Post by: momfellinglost on September 12, 2016, 02:44:50 pm
 Hi haven't been here in a while and things have been going well. My son has been doing real well and showing those in their life just how stable he is. That ended on the weekend (him doing well). He is still stable but got attacked by a stranger who beat him in the head with a baseball bat. They haven't caught the guy yet but know who he is. My son is experiencing some problems worrying about the guy coming back. Not sleeping panic attacks. I am doing what I can but am not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing to help him. I know he won't get over it anytime soon but people think because he is a big guy some how that makes a difference to how he feels. Not sure if asking him to come to my house for a while would help or make him worry about his place and what they might do to it. So any help that anyone can give to me what works for you when you have a panic attack what can  make it worse? I know this wasn't his fault and he has some real good people who live around him who are also checking up on him. Just trying to not make it worse for him. Want him to feel as safe as he can given what happened to him. These are some real nasty people
Title: Re: Looking for advice
Post by: paulm on September 14, 2016, 02:20:47 am
Hello Momfeelinglost. I'm don't have any advice to give, but I'm sorry to hear that happened. I'm sure that you are quite worried. I hope that everything turns out well. TAKE Care. paul m
Title: Re: Looking for advice
Post by: Peace on September 14, 2016, 09:10:04 am
Hi momfeelinglost,

It's great to hear from you.  I'm sorry to hear what happened to your son.

For my panic attacks the biggest thing that has helped is healthy lifestyle. Being cognizant of what I eat and drink, paying attention to sleep hygiene, exercising, and practising relaxation techniques are key.

Healthy eating: one small piece of chocolate can trigger a panic attack because of the caffeine and sugar. One alcoholic drink will calm someone down for 2 hours, but the withdrawal from the alcohol will make them anxious for several hours. Reduce caffeine, sugar, and alcohol.

There's several places on the internet that will provide proper sleep hygiene techniques.

I find something simple like an hour walk a day greatly reduces my panic attacks, as well as helps me sleep better at night because I'm more active during the day.

I use the progressive relaxation CD by Eli Bay as my relaxation technique. It was recommended in two different treatment programs I attended. It walks me through deep breathing and tensing then relaxing my body. There's many other methods, such as yoga, mindfulness meditation, etc.

I am strongly opposed to doctors prescribing benzodiazepines to be taken on a regular basis (3 times a day, as an example) to combat anxiety, but many do. They are highly addictive and the person taking the benzo becomes used to it so the calming effect wears off, then a higher dose is needed for the same effect. I do have a bottle of lorazepam I use for special occasions, such as my daughter's graduation. It brings me comfort to know I have the lorazepam to fall back on should I need it.

I find when I'm having a panic attack or am in a high state of anxiety I tend to want to talk about what is triggering my anxiety, which is actually the worst thing for me because I end up becoming more agitated. The best thing in times like that is to distract myself or have someone else distract me from what is making me anxious.

I can't tolerate sound or over-stimulation at those times. I will ask my daughters to use their headphones or I go somewhere quiet until the panic and anxiety lessens.

I make an effort to not explain to people who have proven to not understand panic attacks or who make detrimental comments such as "think positive", "chin up", "be strong". If it was that simple we would have done that a long time ago and it's highly degrading to hear those things. I've learned who I can talk to and who I shouldn't when I'm in a high state of anxiety. I have a list of distress line numbers I can call and from that list have eliminated the ones that don't work for me. What works for some will not work for others.

For me, anyway, knowing my sister is worrying about me makes me feel worse. It's natural she would worry, but I now make an effort to not tell her everything to lessen her own anxiety. When you talk to your son let him know how much you love him and are there for him, but if you can try not to tell him excessively how this is affecting you.

Warm thoughts for you and your son.


Title: Re: Looking for advice
Post by: momfellinglost on September 19, 2016, 04:46:27 pm
 Thanks for the help. He has reached out to victims services. He has decided that he will do what he feels like in the daytime hours but feels that going out at night makes it worse unless he is in a car. Seems sensible to me. I will keep doing what I am doing and let him direct me to what he needs from us