Messages

106

General Discussion / Re: Feeling pressure - I'm 70 next week!

« on: June 03, 2017, 12:08:22 am »

Hello Peter.  I'm glad that you and your siblings can gather and celebrate a birthday together.  In regards to your good genes only being from the neck down.  You seem pretty normal to me, but then I tend to think that I'm normal too and some of the people around me are not too sure about that LOL.

 When I first met you, about 9-10 yrs ago( WOW that long ago, time really flies) you didn't look a day over 60 and the last time I saw you , you still didn't look a day over 60. You seemed to have stopped aging.  So I presume that is a good thing.

 In regards to yoga and rowing machines, whenever I get low to the ground, I have trouble getting up again. The other day I changed a flat tire and then my wife had to use the car jack to get me up off of the ground LOL. So if you can even think about rowing machines and or yoga you are doing pretty good for a guy facing 69+.

 I hope that you have a great birthday and that you have many more birthdays, I know that you have brought a lot of fun and laughter into this world with your jokes and hand outs and I have really appreciated that. Sometimes you have given me a laugh when I really needed one and for that I will always be grateful. Thx and Take Care. paul m

107

General Discussion / Re: Couple of things on my mind

« on: May 27, 2017, 01:14:34 am »

Hello Peace. I'm a little late with this, but I hope that things work out for your daughter. I can understand the worry that you must be having.

 Also thx for reminding us that it's important to maintain contact with people. Take Care. paul m

108

General Discussion / Re: Support group, and magazine-type site....

« on: May 10, 2017, 12:45:21 am »

Hello Peter. Thx for posting that site, it covers a lot of topics. Take Care. paul m

109

General Discussion / Re: GPs in T.O. who do psychotherapy

« on: April 22, 2017, 11:55:35 pm »

Hello eScotty. The short answer is they are extremely hard to find and due to some gov't practices it has made them even harder to find.

 You might want to try telehealth Ontario  1-866-797-0000 and ask if they know of anyone. Or you can try http://www.mentalhealthhelpline.ca/  by phone, email, chat or self search and see if they have anything. 

 You could try your local walk in clinics, community care access centre etc to see if they know of any.

  You can ck this website out https://www.ontario.ca/locations/health/searchResults.php?latitude=43.653226&longitude=-79.38318429999998&lang=en&find=PSYCHOTHERAPY&near=Toronto%2C+ON%2C+Canada#main   You will find 13 family health care teams listed offering therapy.   You then click one, say the Scarborough Academic Family Health Team Overlea Blvd Site  https://www.ontario.ca/locations/health/locationDetails.php?location=153379&lang=en 

 If you then scroll down it sez that they offer psychotherapy.  However you have to be refered by a doc who is a member of a health care team (a majority , but not all G.P.'s are). You might want to give them a call first to see what kind of psychotherapy they offer who who does it for them.

 A few hospitals also have out patients services that may offer counselling covered by OHIP

 If the system sounds confusing and more than a little stupid you are not alone feeling that way.  Sorry that's the best I can offer. Let us know if you find anything that works to find the proper doc.  Take Care. paul m

110

General Discussion / Re: Happy Easter

« on: April 22, 2017, 12:32:04 am »

Hello Peace. Sorry this is a bit late. I'm doubly sorry that your Easter didn't go well. Take Care. paul m

 Hello Dragonfly. Our Easter went well. Thx and Take Care. paul m

111

General Discussion / Re: Lost fiance

« on: April 22, 2017, 12:28:31 am »

Hello Littleorchid. Good points. I'll have to remember them.  We've been married a very long time and while we get along quite well, a lot of our arguments start over trivial things.We don't argue a lot, but sometimes trivial issues can get blown way out of proportion.  They seem major at the time, but often looking back they are very trivial. When you said :

" 1 - I am probably exaggerating and/or not dealing/owning my emotions.
2 - the other person becomes defensive from the onset because they are being blamed for something
3 - the actual issue gets lost  "

 That about cover 90% of our arguments and from both sides. My wife can inadvertently say something that triggers something in me when it shouldn't even be a trigger and vice versus and so on.  Take Care. paul m

112

General Discussion / Re: Re clutter....

« on: April 22, 2017, 12:14:24 am »

Hello Littleorchid. That's a great idea. When we had to move our mother out of her house into a much smaller place we found that she had saved thousands of newspaper and magazine clippings, each one of some interest to her. She most distressed when we threw most of them out. Some were inherited from her mother so some of the stuff was pretty interesting,but non of us had a place to store it and digital wasn't available.

 I still have several boxes of the stuff(some of it 100 yrs plus old) . I am looking down the end of living in a large place, so I might just buy a scanner and do that with my own stuff. I ck'ed and they are not that expensive these days. Thx for the suggestion and Take Care. paul m

113

General Discussion / Re: Happy Easter

« on: April 16, 2017, 11:54:21 pm »

Thx Peace. And the same to you.Take Care. paul m

114

General Discussion / Re: Re clutter....

« on: April 16, 2017, 11:53:27 pm »

Hello Peter. I'm not sure how much clutter affects me. I have a tendency to live in a disorganized environment, which I'm sure that some people would find not right.  However my rationale is that I have better things to do than to super organize things. I do make time every few mths to clean up and file, organize etc my place.  Sometimes I take too long to through something out or to get rid if it, but not to the point that it bothers anyone. Well occasionally the wife LOL, but then she hangs onto some things to long too.  There is a big difference between someone who has some clutter and disorganization and someone who is hoarding.  Take Care. paul m

 Hello Dragonfly, I know very little about hoarding other than it can become a real problem. I came across this website however I cannot say whether it is good or bad as I simply don't know enough.
https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/hoarding-basics

 I do know enough to know that even the experts aren't 100% sure about hoarding causes. The article does suggest about how to do an intervention, but I have no experience in that area and for all I know the article is not correct. Sorry that I can't be more help. Take Care. paul m

 P.S. ATT Buddy Mack and/or Peace. The article states the following :Those most often associated with hoarding are obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and depression.   You two are more up on the OCPD and OCD than I am , any ideas or suggestions?

115

General Discussion / Re: Lost fiance

« on: April 14, 2017, 03:28:37 am »

Hello Buddy Mack. I realize that your reply was meant in good faith, but unfortunately it is wrong. Your statement that "Having a relationship and having mental illnesses is damn near impossible" is a statement that causes stereotypes and stigma.

 People with a mental illness do have a higher rate of divorce but not when you remove alcohol and the desire to be treated and get better from the equation it is not that much higher than the general population.

 Proper studies from all over the world have shown that alcoholism and mental illness do cause a lot of break ups as does a mental illness and not taking all of the steps necessary to get better can lead to an increase in separations.

 No doubt many people with a mental illness end up divorced or separated from a partner , but so do a lot of other people with no mental illness.  On this forum and on the MDSC forum probably as many regular posters over the years have been in a long term relationship as who got divorced or broke up.

 While many mental health sites promote the idea of mental health being the cause of breakup, it seldom makes the list of top 10 for divorce in articles like the Huffington post below.

 Having a mental illness may make relationships harder with someone who doesn't have a mental illness may make it harder, but it certainly doesn't make them impossible or even unlikely. Take Care. paul m

http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-and-divorce.html        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yourtango/10-most-common-reasons-people-divorce_b_8086312.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4011132/

116

General Discussion / Re: Lost fiance

« on: April 14, 2017, 02:36:56 am »

Hello LittleOrchid and welcome. I can sympathize with your loss. You seem to analyzed your position pretty well. You have said alcohol is not answer to a better life, neither is abusing pot.

 You answer your own question when you say "Yet still with my ex i cannot contain myself." No spouse is going to put up with chronic abuse or at least very few are.

 What can you do? Talk to your doctor about it, see if your doc can recommend some sort of cognetive behavioural course, many places have them free of charge on an out patient basis. CBT helps you to change the way you think and behave.

 Your friend has not told you that they are not interested in a future relationship. They have said until you quite drinking and you finish what ever treatment course you are taking they are not interested. That's because he has to protect his own mental health.  I'm not sure what treatment course you are taking, but while AA is helpful to many it is not a course that will prevent you from drinking in fact you don't even have to be sober to go to an AA meeting.  If you are taking an approved substance abuse course, you will not be drinking as the first thing they do if they catch you drinking is kick you out.

 You can mail him a letter, but unless it contains the words "I no longer have a substance abuse problem of any kind or I am going to take an approved substance abuse course" then perhaps he will stick around, until then he has made it clear that he is not interested in contact and mailing him a letter will do you little good.   

 I wish you luck, as addictions are hard to kick. Good Luck and Take Care. paul m

117

General Discussion / Re: I was very, very angry with my two daughters yesterday

« on: March 27, 2017, 10:45:21 pm »

Hello Dragonfly.  You should keep your doctors appt and also ask what they think is best for the pain. Some people with kidney disease certainly cannot take aspirin, but part of that depends on what type of kidney disease it is and how severe it is.  Your doctor should know best.

 I'm glad that  Lamotrigne is working well for you. It's funny how psychiatric medications affect so many people differently. When I tried Lamotrigne for all the good it did me I may as well have taken smarties LOL.

 In regards to migraines. For yrs my wife suffered from migraines (and it wasn't me causing them LOL). She tried everything that the doctors told her to try, some medication would help make them less severe, but nothing solved them.

 Then one day her dentist asked her if she suffered from migraines and she said yes. He said that it was possible because she had never had braces and her upper and lower teeth were misaligned. He said that a simple mouthguard might work He made up a simple mouth guard that snaps onto her teeth (it's small, clear and she can wear it in public without most people noticing) and she hasn't had a migraine since (that was over 20 yrs ago). She wears it at night and sometimes during the day if she is feeling tense.

 I use this as an example of how misleading the internet or even doctors can be. If you ck the Mayo Clinic website or Web MD, both respected sites, neither will mention using a specialized mouth guard as a possible option. They only suggest medication, relaxation techniques and avoiding certain foods. However if you google: Can a mouth guard help with migraines? You will get all sorts of dental sites suggesting using a variety of mouth guard remedies. 

 A mouth guard will not help all people with migraines, but my wife was highly ticked off when she discovered that she had suffered all of those yrs and not one doctor had suggested a mouth guard as a remedy.

 Anyways, I've said enough. Good luck with your arthritis(and other things too). Take Care. paul m

 

118

General Discussion / Re: I was very, very angry with my two daughters yesterday

« on: March 25, 2017, 08:31:09 am »

Hello Dragonfly. I'm glad that your Granddaughters are coping well. I thank you for the information about what you take for arthritis.

 Tylenol is very good at killing the pain, but I will get up on my soap box a bit and talk about the usage of Tylenol vs aspirin especially for those of us taking lithium and or having liver problems .  I am not a medical qualified person and I know that there are many reasons not to take aspirin, however if some one is told , don't take it because they are taking lithium and that is the only reason, chances they are being misinformed.

 Most doctors and most pharmacists say "don't take aspirin if you take lithium"  As aspirin is far more effective at controlling inflammation than Tylenol , aspirin is usually the medication to use. However for some reason most docs and most pharmacists have not read all of the latest studies which shows that aspirin does not affect affect the lithium levels in the average person.

 From drugs.com "Most studies have shown that aspirin and other salicylates do not significantly affect the serum concentrations of lithium. In general, no particular precaution should be necessary when lithium is coadministered with salicylates." 

 Aspirin usually has a better effect on arthritis as aspirin has anti inflammatory effects and Tylenol does not. For those of us with arthritis, we want to keep the inflammation down as well a kill the pain. 

 Tylenol can be extra ordinarily hard on your liver and over dosing can be very easy. Tylenol's own website shows that we should not take more than 3000 mg per day  https://www.tylenol.com/safety-dosing/usage/dosage-for-adults    however as Tylenol arthritis contains 650mg of medication and the recommended maximum dose is 6 pills at 650mg each per day, and that equals 3900 mg per day, I don't understand how they can say it's good to take that much. Even 6 doses of extra strength Tylenol per day maxes a person out at 3000 mg per day and those with impaired livers are told not to take that much, but yet doctors continually say take Tylenol for arthritis!!! 

 Also as Tylenol is in many other products it is easy to go over the maximum daily dose.

 There is nothing wrong with taking tylenol, but according to http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/820200-overview  "  In the United States, acetaminophen toxicity has replaced viral hepatitis as the most common cause of acute hepatic failure and is the second most common cause of liver failure requiring transplantation."

 So if you are taking tylenol 3 times a day you might want to calculate your daily dosage and if near 3000mg, talk to your doctor about it.  I'm not recommending either product, I'm just using this chance to tell people just to be extra careful when using tylenol. Take Care. paul m

119

General Discussion / New Posters

« on: March 21, 2017, 12:12:34 am »

Hello Everyone. A couple of new posters have posted in the depression and bipolar section. I know that it is often easy to miss these posts, but if you get a chance say hello. Also Dan has posted in that section an on line resource for families. Take Care. paul m

120

General Discussion / Re: I was very, very angry with my two daughters yesterday

« on: March 21, 2017, 12:10:28 am »

Hello Dragonfly. What does my arthritis feel like to me?  Depends on what part is hurting LOL. My knees and ankles are much better now that I have lost weight and the medication has helped a lot too.

 The arthritis in my spine is a different matter. When it decides to flare up, I am bed ridden or move at a snails pace until the inflammation goes down. We were in Ottawa a couple of yrs ago and we got to the motel and I couldn't move to get out of the van. I had to sit there for a couple of hrs applying heat (hot water bottle ) and eating aspirins just so I could go in and lie down.  Fortunately it does not flare up too often.

 In regards to funerals: I hate going to funerals in the following order: 1) children's, 2) Sudden death, i.e. car accidents, suicides 3) all other types. 

 All deaths of young people are a waste, suicide included.  I feel very sad that all of that potential is wasted.

 In regard to your Grandaughter, it would hurt to read the following http://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2013/05/05/what-to-tell-children/    and  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201608/talking-kids-about-suicide     The articles address two key fears that children have.

 1) Will that happen to someone else I love? (a common thought in youth)

 2)Sometimes children understand things wrong like:" I wished that he hadn't been so mean to mean the other day and I wished that he would just go away" I didn't mean for him to die.

 I'm not saying that your Granddaughter will think either thought, but it doesn't hurt to read a bit about how children process death and possibly talk with them. 

 I hope that your whole family is able to let this unfortunate happening pass without too much more grief. However if someone does need extra help, your son's benefit package may include grief counselling and you can also call 211 and ask what grief counselling is available in your area. Take Care. Paul M