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Messages - Peace

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General Discussion / Re: Away
« on: September 26, 2014, 07:52:53 am »
Congratulations Paul on becoming a grandfather!  :)

General Discussion / Feeling Uncomfortable
« on: September 21, 2014, 07:54:13 am »
The spam we've been receiving lately has been bothering me so I took a look at the members list. There are a number of members with capital letters and numbers. I personally am not feeling comfortable at all with posting because of this. I didn't feel this way on the other forum.

I was wondering how everyone else feels.

General Discussion / Re: Need to Vent
« on: September 14, 2014, 07:47:05 am »
Thanks for replying, Paul, appreciate you picking up on the ridiculousness of the situation.

Due to very little being done while I was away and how dirty my house was from the installation, yesterday I did the dishes, swept and mopped the kitchen and front entrance, swept a number of other floors, dusted, cleaned a bathroom and did two loads of laundry. Today I have at least 5 loads of laundry to do. In addition to my anxiety/depression related illnesses, I also have arthritis and fibromyalgia, so I'm going to be in a great deal of pain for a number of days now.

Hi there Paul  :) I live about an hour and a half away from Bradford. Since it's an online group, I try to keep where I live private and there's probably others like me. That may be why you aren't getting a response. People come and go here, so maybe if you ask periodically if there's anyone from the Bradford area, you might find eventually find someone. Good luck!

General Discussion / Need to Vent
« on: September 13, 2014, 08:21:20 am »
I'm very frugal and my husband is a "keep up with the Jones" type of person . I can honestly say he's unnecessarily spent at least $200,000 (probably more) of our money in our time together. I need security in my life, possibly due to moving numerous times after my parents divorce and watching each of my parents run out of money early in their lives.

His latest expenditure was to replace every single window and door in our home, even though some still had years of life left in them. I pleaded with him to replace them in installments in order to reduce the financial impact and the stress our home is under. He went ahead and replaced them all anyway. When the person came to measure I realized after he left our existing window coverings would not fit due to the size of the frame the installer wanted to use so I emailed our salesman (my best form of communication due to my anxiety) and said I wanted the same size frame. My husband told me to leave the salesman alone and he would deal with it. The salesman gave my husband the brush off. I now have to replace window coverings on two doors and 5 windows.

I knew I couldn't handle the noise of the installation in my home so I planned to spend Sunday to Wednesday at my sisters while the windows were being installed. Due to Agoraphobia I haven't been away from my home in 3 years and was enjoying the lack of stress in my sisters home. I contacted my husband Monday night to talk about staying longer, but I wasn't sure how much longer, definitely not more than a week in total. I then received a message from my youngest daughter through Facebook about how rude I was for not giving prior notice to staying away longer and I was sworn at. When I arrived home Friday (away for 5 days) to attend a drapery appointment, I talked to my husband and he admitted to speaking to both my daughters about his unhappiness with my not returning home Wednesday.

I feel I'm literally powerless regarding any type of decision. I feel year after year I've done exactly what my husband wanted and when I realized due to my health I couldn't keep my high paying job and tried to speak up every single concern I've expressed was ignored, only to hear afterwards I was right. We've had marital counselling and when the counsellor suggested a budget my husband got angry with him.

This probably sounds dramatic, but I literally feel I'm dying from the stress of trying to keep up with my husbands materialism. His new motorcycle (purchased this year) has not brought him the happiness he hoped for because the Harley riders don't wave to him. My chest hurts, I hyperventilate and when I try to have dinner with my husband at the table I often end up choking and have had to run to the bathroom to vomit.

I'm sincerely sorry for the negative tone of this post. I'm not sure where to turn.

General Discussion / Re: Away
« on: September 13, 2014, 07:49:02 am »
If you haven't left already, have a fabulous time away (assuming it's vacation)!  :)

General Discussion / Re: Donations to charities
« on: September 08, 2014, 11:38:51 am »
My OCD made me google search Dragonfly's question and I found this link:

If I let myself, I'll spend days researching so that's as far as I'll go. I hope it helps.

Dragonfly, it's very noble what you want to do. Please be careful you are not taken advantage of.

General Discussion / Re: Donations to charities
« on: September 07, 2014, 07:39:42 am »
I try to volunteer, donate and fund raise for the charities that are close to my heart. Primarily, they are related to kidney disease, heart disease and altzheimers disease. I've also done a fair amount of volunteer work for the humane society, for my church and was a regular blood donor.

I would leave clothes and household items outside for pick up when a charity that wasn't close to my heart phoned me. Last year the Kidney Foundation phoned. I had no clue they picked up and found out they sell the items they collect to Value Village. They picked up from me last year and I have a box for pick up later this month. They also have a car donation program. Kidney disease runs in my family and has a huge impact on the quality and longevity of life for many loved ones.

On top of feeling I'm making some sort of contribution, I feel I'm teaching a valuable lesson to my children. They are both very active volunteers themselves and I couldn't be more proud of them.

General Discussion / Re: I"m back
« on: August 16, 2014, 07:58:07 am »
Welcome back Melba! It's good to hear the positive. My dad developed early onset Altzheimers at 59 and it's extremely difficult to see our parents decline. We're here when you need us.

General Discussion / Daniel F
« on: August 15, 2014, 09:13:28 am »
I like what you've added to the forum. I like your comments and like that when I've reached out in distress you've taken the time and made the effort to find information for me.  :)

Thank you HSG for bringing this topic up. I was thinking of doing so, but didn't have the energy with so much going on.

It is my opinion that many people who are highly creative are prone to mental illness. There's no way of knowing if the mental illness contributes to the creativity or if the creativity contributes to the mental illness. Before your post I was watching some of Robin's comedy acts and I commented to my sister he may have been manic.

Through my research and my discussions with my pdoc, it's a definite that people with OCD are usually highly intelligent. While I pride myself and have always been thankful for my intelligence, I'd happily give up some of my intelligence for some relief from my OCD. I hope I didn't sound conceited by what I just said.  :-[

I said to a friend when I learned of his suicide "here come the rude and misinformed comments about mental illness and addiction being a weakness and suicide being selfish." I usually respond to people with that opinion "suicide is not a sign of weakness or of being a coward, it's simply an attempt to end pain and suffering that has become unbearable." I receive a lot of positive feedback with that statement.

Robin Williams was a comedy genius and from the nice stories (not just from the media) I've read since his passing, he seemed to genuinely be a wonderful person. He certainly provided many hours of enjoyment and laughter to me. R.I.P. Robin!

General Discussion / Re: Set Back and Thank You
« on: August 12, 2014, 07:41:52 am »
I found out the Manager in charge of the launch program is going on vacation tomorrow so I sent her a heart felt email yesterday explaining to her the situation I'm in and the efforts I've made to find treatment for my OCD. She replied saying she will call me today at 11:00 to discuss the situation. Yesterday my pdoc said he would write them a letter. Thanks again everyone for listening and for your kind support.

General Discussion / Re: Set Back and Thank You
« on: August 12, 2014, 07:28:29 am »
 Thank you Dragonfly! Hope you are doing well.

General Discussion / Re: Set Back and Thank You
« on: August 10, 2014, 11:30:48 am »
Thanks Lou! I can always count on you for support and a hug.  :)  Are you using Freddie Mercury for your profile picture?

General Discussion / Re: Set Back and Thank You
« on: August 09, 2014, 06:33:53 am »
Hello Paul and Mom, I emailed my social worker and asked her the reason why I was being discharged (I was too upset to comprehend what she was saying) and the email address and phone number for the person who could be contacted about the decision. I then left a message on her cell phone telling her I needed the information before 3:00 on Monday because I would leaving then to see my pdoc. I'm going to ask my pdoc to contact them on my behalf and I'm considering send them an email myself. I'm not sure yet how I should word the email and I'm still really upset about this. I did not need this added stress right now.

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