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Messages - Peace

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General Discussion / Re: WAS going to do standup comedy Oct 6....
« on: October 26, 2018, 08:12:37 am »
Feel better soon, Peter!!  :)

General Discussion / Re: Update
« on: October 08, 2018, 12:53:56 pm »
Thanks so much, Paul  :)

Nice to hear from you, it's been a while. I was wondering how you are. Wonderful to hear your CT scan came back clear.

Hope you're enjoying camping!


General Discussion / Re: Update
« on: October 02, 2018, 07:58:10 am »
Thanks Peter and Dragonfly  :) It really does feel good.

Dragonfly, congrats on the upcoming addition to your family  :D

General Discussion / Re: My update....
« on: October 02, 2018, 07:56:25 am »
Sounds to me like you're doing a great job, Peter  :)

I found a success log helps. OCD is notorious for planting false thoughts in our minds and for being a critical bully. Sitting down and writing all my accomplishments made me see just how much I've gotten done despite this nagging bully in my brain.

Keep up the good work and you don't feel like doing anything once in a while, no biggie. It will still be there tomorrow.

General Discussion / Update
« on: September 28, 2018, 08:08:20 am »
Hey everyone  :)

Just wanted to give an update. Major life changes for me. I moved into an apartment on my own in July. Other than being a bit lonely and having some difficulty navigating the bus system it's going well. The fear that kept me in an abusive marriage for several years because I felt I wouldn't be able to get the basic necessities of life for myself turned out to be nothing more than fear.

How is everyone else doing?


General Discussion / Re: having a bit of a tough time right now
« on: June 18, 2018, 07:36:10 am »
It's never ever been all about you, Dragonfly! You've always been very thoughtful and caring towards us. Very much appreciated!

Anniversary dates are exceptionally hard. Allow yourself time to feel sad. You'll be surrounded by people who also loved your husband, if you can try to take comfort in that.

Thinking of you

General Discussion / Re: Worried about getting dementia......
« on: June 18, 2018, 07:31:50 am »
Peter, it sounds to me like you may have latched on to what the nurse said, and now you're watching for and tuning in to all signs. In short, like many of us with anxiety do, you're making yourself sick thinking you could be sick.

I have severe OCD and went through my own round of health anxiety. Altzheimers runs in my family on both my mom and dads sides. When I would walk into a room, stare at something, forget even the slightest thing I auto thought altzheimers. Asking my siblings about it and googled it looking for signs I had it. I then spoke to my psychiatrist about it and he explained to me that due to the OCD my mind runs non-stop and at times it shuts down completely due to the over-activity. This made a lot of sense to me and I stopped believing I had altzheimers.

The thing with health anxiety is that we keep it going by googling it, talking about it, and looking for signs of whatever condition we believe we may have. In effect by doing all that we are telling our brains something could be wrong and just keeping the fear going. The only way to beat the health anxiety is to stop all the focus on the condition concerning us. Easier said than done, but it can be done.

I like meditation in the form of going for a walk and really paying attention to my surroundings complete with touching things to check out texture. I also use the notice 5 things techniques to get my mind off my worries and calm myself.

Even if you do have signs of altzheimers or dementia, which I doubt, absolutely nothing can be accomplished by focusing on it.

Best wishes to you  :)

General Discussion / Re: OCD Walk Toronto
« on: June 18, 2018, 07:23:00 am »

General Discussion / Re: Moving On Up
« on: June 18, 2018, 07:22:20 am »
Thanks Paul and Dragonfly!  :D

General Discussion / Moving On Up
« on: June 15, 2018, 09:52:47 am »
Hi everyone  :)

Hope all are well. I've been a bit quiet because I've been fighting OCD. One of my compulsions involves online, so I had to abstain from it for a while, and will have to do so on an ongoing basis at times.

Just wanted to let everyone know that my 3 month residential OCD treatment program helped me so much that I'm now getting out of my abusive environment in July. The gains have decreased through a variety of stressors, but that's par for the course, as there is no cure for OCD and it is chronic. I'm a fighter, so I will improve again and believe this move is a step in the right direction.

Thanks to all for being here for me throughout it all.  :)

General Discussion / OCD Walk Toronto
« on: June 15, 2018, 09:47:05 am »
I have severe OCD, agoraphobia, PTSD and depression in order of severity. Part of why I'm still unhealthy is there is so little known about and treatment for OCD.

Treatment for anxiety, depression, PTSD and other psychiatric conditions, if not modified for an individual with OCD, such as removing the evidence to support the thought column of CBT thought records, can make the OCD condition worse because analysis triggers and supports obsessions.

Without some very simple knowledge, such as knowing the OCD cycle and the compulsion categories, often professionals in the mental health and medical fields, friends and families enable OCD.

There's an annual OCD Walk Toronto. The 2018 date is tomorrow, June 16. If you are ready, willing and/or able, kindly support and/or attend the walk.

Walk link:

Sunnybrook also offers regular workshops to educate both consumers and those within the mental and medical health service sector. Their last workshop became so full they then opened up webinair so participants can access the workshop from home.

For workshop information the Frederick W. Thompson Anxiety Disorders Centre at the Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre can be reached by phone at 416-480-4002 and by email at

With appreciation  :)

General Discussion / Re: Coping with a new colleague
« on: March 07, 2018, 08:02:12 am »
Very briefly document what the co-worker is doing that makes it less efficient for you to have his "help". Have an open conversation with your boss. Show your boss examples of why this isn't working out through what you documented, but try to do it in such a way that it doesn't appear personal or overly critical about the individual, just present the facts. I'm saying this because I had a similar experience myself, and ironically it was doing software testing.

What should happen is your boss should recognize the difficulty you're having due to this individual interrupting you and come up with solutions, possibly the individual going to your boss with questions if your boss has any inkling of the type of work you do, which many of them don't, or find another person to answer this individuals questions, or even realize bringing an unqualified person in just doesn't work out in some cases, and he needs to find other ways to decrease the pressure you're under.

Realize it is our bosses responsibility to find the means for us to be able to do our job properly, and leave it with your boss to deal with. The first step is making your boss aware of what's happening. If you don't talk to your boss your frustration could end up coming out in ways you don't want it to.

Outside of work recognize you have a stressful situation you're dealing with and be diligent in doing all the healthy lifestyle things we need to do to build up our resilience and keep ourselves afloat, including lessening other stressful factors, if possible.

Talk it all out with someone you trust, preferably someone outside of your work. Including us.  :)

Good luck!

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« on: February 21, 2018, 11:21:55 am »
Hi Mark,

Nice to meet you! Welcome  :)

I didn't answer your question right away because I was having a not very good day when you first posted, so I was hoping someone else would reply.

I looked back on your previous post because different meds help different conditions, and saw that you said you struggle with depression with an alcohol problem. I am alcohol dependent and had treatment for it myself last year, so anything I say to you in relation to alcohol is in no way judgement of you.

My diagnosis are OCD, agoraphobia with panic, PTSD, and depression in order of severity. If you can and haven't already, try to find an experienced psychiatrist who will take the time to talk to you. I wasted many years receiving treatment for depression and anxiety only which did nothing to help, and in fact was detrimental, to my primary diagnosis of OCD. I've heard many stories of people who have bipolar disorder getting treatment for depression alone, which only makes their condition worse because anti-depressants trigger mania. An accurate diagnosis is crucial.

On to medication. Each of us is different. Sertraline has always been the best medication for me. I've been tried on many, and always return to Sertraline. A higher dose is known to treat OCD, but the problem with that is I've had instances of medication induced mania, and I'm also highly sensitive to medication, so higher doses make me very ill. None of us have the same chemicals or the same conditions, so what might work for me, could be detrimental for someone else. I know someone who prozac has helped their OCD, whereas prozac made it so I couldn't leave my home to even go into my neighbours backyard, I was having so many panic attacks.

Does anyone else in your family of origin have mental health or brain disorder conditions (OCD is a brain disorder). If yes, and they are taking medication, it's known that what helps one family member has been known to help another. My sister and brother's depression are/were both helped by Wellbrutin.

Not a lecture at all, as I said I'm alcohol dependent, which is in remission - please try to work on alcohol intake if it's still a problem. Alcohol and medication together can be very dangerous, and decreasing my alcohol intake has drastically improved my mental health. Alcohol is just a very temporary fix that in the long run is detrimental.

Medication on average is at best 20% of recovery. Recovery includes medication, lifestyle changes, and the therapy that treats your diagnosis with the right person.

I apologize for not listing medications you could try, our diagnosis are different, and we are all different. Hopefully someone diagnosed with depression will also respond.

Good luck to you!!! We are all in this journey together and we all understand.

General Discussion / Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« on: January 30, 2018, 10:50:09 am »
I'm very sorry you have to go through this! You are a very warm, giving person, and do not deserve to be bullied by anyone.

As I was reading your post the very first thought that went through my mind was restraining order, and I still believe that could be the only way, especially if your health is being affected. My only concern with you involving the police is your relationship with people who matter. Don't pay any heed to people who might not see why you're taking this route, if that's the route you choose, they are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. My suggestion is that you let the people who matter, your own family and your sister's family that you want to remain on good terms with, know what your plan is and why you are thinking of seeking the help of the police, before you take the first step. That way they aren't surprised and they fully understand your reasons, that this is affecting your health, prior to police involvement. I'm hoping this could salvage all your relationships with the people who are important in your life, and truthfully they might actually be relieved that you plan to do this.

Just my opinion, please if anyone disagrees with me, I won't be offended at all, I want the very best for momfeelinglost.

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« on: January 26, 2018, 11:04:45 am »
Hi Dragonfly  :)

I'm SO happy to read that on the whole you're doing well! It's nice to hear about the craft group, too. We really do need socialization. I made going to one more event per month at my social group one of my goals. If I could access some of the MDAO groups, I would definitely be at some of them.

I'm home from my OCD treatment. The treatment did me a world of good. I no longer let my thoughts upset me, I use some techniques I learned help me take the power away from the thoughts. I also continuously fight my compulsions, but try to not beat myself up for them. I'll never be cured of OCD, it's a brain disorder that is a lifelong affliction, but I can still live a good life and have OCD.

Looking forward to hearing from everyone, new and old.  :)

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