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Messages - Dragonfly

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General Discussion / Re: Re clutter....
« on: April 18, 2017, 12:17:44 pm »
Hi Paul,
 Looked up the website that you posted about OCD and hoarding. Some of it describes my daugher to a tee. I am going to print that article out. I wonder if I dare show her and if she realizes that she has a problem. I think she definitely needs help. I don't know how to go about that though. She gets very angry with her sister and I shen we talk about it.


General Discussion / Re: Lost fiance
« on: April 18, 2017, 12:12:16 pm »
Hi Peace,

 So glad that you have become stronger (always thought you were strong anyway) and have stood up to your husband. It is so easy for some people to shift the blame of their problems on a spouse that has a mental illness. Sounds like you didn't have a mental problem before your husband became abusive.

Peace you have always been very kind to everyone on this forum. From what I gather you gave your husband every chance to help and be supportive of you. I am glad that you are moving on. Your husband doesn't realize what he is losing.


General Discussion / Re: Happy Easter
« on: April 18, 2017, 12:00:04 pm »
Hi Peace,
 Had Easter on Friday with my family. It was at my son's house with his new girlfriend and daughter. So far they seem to be doing well together. Also with my two grand children and my two daughter.

The weather was great. Had an easter egg hunt and coloring easter eggs with the kids outside. Dinner afterwards.

Buddy Mack glad that yours was good. Hope your next easter will be better Peace. You are very kind to ask how everyone was doing on easter even though you are struggling. Wishing that yours was good too Paul.


General Discussion / Re: Lost fiance
« on: April 16, 2017, 10:41:40 am »
I must say also that it is not impossible to have a relationship when you have a mental illness. That is from personal experience. It may be that having a mental illness does cause problems in the marriage. You have to think that your personality is not defined by mental illness.

What bothers me sometimes and hurts is the empathy that some people have for the spouse that does not have the mental illness. I know it is hard for that spouse. What people forget is that the person with the mental health problem may be very supportive to your spouse who has problems with other issues.

It has been said to me that if their spouse has a mental illness like mine that they would leave that person. That really hurts. No one asks to suffer from a medical problem like mental illness. Just like no one asks to have cancer, diabetes, etc.


General Discussion / Re: Re clutter....
« on: April 16, 2017, 10:27:22 am »
Hi Peter,
Could you tell me what the clutter support group is all about. Do you have to go in person to this group or is there information on the internet.

My daughter has a real problem with clutter. She has dyslexia which probably contributes to having a hard time organizing things. I am starting to think that maybe she has OCD as well. If she gets on a certain subject she has to collect everything about it like titanic even if the facts are not that interesting (books). My daughter also gets stuck on other subjects and has to collect everything about it. She collects magazines and has piles of them. When you ask her to get rid of them she gets very angry. I guess she is a hoarder. It is starting to get so that she has to weave through stuff to get to her bed. Is there anyway I can help her.

My daughter lives with her oldest sister in a townhouse. Her sister won't do anything about it. It has been suggested by a friend of mine that she should be taking a pill to help her with this problem. Anybody got any thoughts about this.

It really worries me. I don't know if I should be the one to help her with this. My daughter gets really angry with me and my other daughter when we talk about her problem. I don't think she sees it as a problem.


General Discussion / Re: Anxious and Going Out
« on: April 08, 2017, 08:28:16 pm »
Hi Peace, good for you. So proud of you.


Hi Paul,

   I did some research on the internet. I believe I cannot take aspirin because of my chronic kidney disease. I have made an appointment with my doctor about my arthritic pain this coming Friday. I keep wanting to cancel it. I probably should go.


Hi Paul,

Thank you for the information on tylenol and aspirin. I have already thought about it. I am not going to follow the pharmacists recommendation of taking tylenol 3 times a day for arthritic pain.

It is interesting that you mention the fact that aspirin controls inflammation better than tylenol. When I was younger I used to get migraine headaches. I found that aspirin would work much better for me than tylenol. I was not on lithium then or any other drugs and did not have the health problems that I have now. For some reason I do not have those headaches anymore.

I am no longer on lithium. I got off it because of my kidneys. Lamotrigne seems to be keeping my bipolar in check plus other psychiatric drugs. That does not mean that this drug would be effective for other people.

I am glad that you mentioned the fact that aspirin works better than tylenol. Maybe I am not suppose to take aspirin because of my other health problems. I am going to look into that.

I guess I should again question the pharmacist as to why I cannot take aspirin. They know I am no longer on lithium,


Hi Paul,
 I empathize with you about your arthritis. As mentioned by two doctors and my pharmacist I seem to have at the moment arthritis in my wrist, hands and arm. They advised me to take tylenol morning, noon and before bed as it flares up. Also to do exercises. I am advised not to take advil or aspirins.

It seems to me that my granddaughter is coping alright with the death of her uncle. I have read the articles that you posted. Thank you. I will make sure to address any fears and questions that my granddaughter has.


General Discussion / Re: here is one that will make you feel good
« on: March 18, 2017, 07:41:56 pm »
Thanks for sharing Buddy Mack,

Such courage from a young beautiful girl. Many of us can identify with her about her mental illness. I would not be able to get on stage like she did.


Hi Paul,  Thanks for sharing with me. Just looked out my window and it is snowing like anything. I guess the predicted storm is coming in. Sorry I got side tracked.
You seem to be taking your health problems in stride. I am trying to do that too. I have been told that I have nauropathy in my hands and feet. The doctors say I may also have arthritis in my right arm and wrist. What does arthristis feel like to you?
It is great that you volunteer. I always wanted to when my kids were in school but then I got sick. My husband was very helpful to people. Most of his family was like that too.
I do have more empathy for people because of my mental illness.
I used to be very shy and anxious when I was young. Now I listen and talk to strangers. When I am shopping, waiting for a doctor's appointment, etc. I enjoy hearing what people have to say. Sometimes you can really identify with what they say. You learn so much.
I must say that I do feel it such a waste of a life as to what the person I talked about before who took his own life. My family has known him for about 20 years. This person was uncle to my grandchildren as I have probably mentioned. I did not go to the funeral. My son had to because of the kids. He was extremely upset. He was in such anguish because his daughter cried so much for her uncle. She is a very sensitive, kind girl.
I hope that I haven't made this reply to you all about me.


Do not worry Paul. You were doing a great thing. I am not always on the forum. Have a good rest.


General Discussion / Re: OCD
« on: March 08, 2017, 07:46:31 pm »
Do not worry Peace. I don't always reply right away either.


Hi Paul, Thank you for your kinds words and caring. You are my true friend here.

I hope that I am getting some of this right. As you say do we really enable our kids to be a certain way. My son was very wild when he was in his teen years and into his early twenties. I don't think either my husband and I did anything to make him act this way. Fortunately he has become a very responsible person.

It is very interesting what you say about the people that brought your wife up and that she certainly did not become like the rest of her family.

Paul I think you under estimate yourself. Your wife sounds like a really good person. Don't count yourself out. You have some very good qualities even though you have a mental illness otherwise your wife wouldn't have stuck with you.

I have been told many times that I am too hard on myself. You are right it doesn't help me or others.

I want to change the subject. I know you have problems. Your health is not that good. How are you coping with everything.

Do we become stronger because we have this mental illness? Can we empathize more with people? You do a lot of work related to mental illness. Would you have done this if you weren't mentally ill? I hope you don't mind me delving into your affairs.

I notice that you had a hard time replying to me. Do not worry I will not take things wrong that you write to me. I also question what I write a great deal of the time.


I was trying to visit with my two daughters yesterday. I got really, really angry at them. They were both on their cell phones looking up information, on facebook, etc.

I know there was another issue underneath the anger I felt with my girls. I spoke earlier in my post about my son who is separated from his wife and her brother committed suicide. I knew the deceased and his family well. We camped with them.

I was trying to talk myself into going to the visitation yesterday afternoon to support my son and grandchildren. I felt guilty. I saw my son's ex earlier that day and I told her I was very sorry about her brother's death. I told her how close I had been to suicide one time. Not to blame herself nor should her family. Her brother was in so much pain and considered himself worthless and a burden to his family. She asked if their was any grievance conselling and I said the funeral home could provide that.

I think I am so upset because it is bringing back all the times when I was extremely depressed and had suicidal ideas. One suicidal sttempt but a cry for help. And another upsetting thing is that the deceased is having visitation and service at the funeral home where my late husband's funeral was. More memories and how much I miss him. I can't seem to stop crying.

I feel like a hypocrite. The deceased was very mentally ill like I have been in the past. I just can't seem to accept his immature and spoiled behaviour. Very disrespectfull (can't seem to spell properly), immoral actions, bragging, very loud and full of himself. Behind all this a very low self esteem.  These behaviors are the very opposite to the way my family things. The parents enabled this. I don't have much respect for the whole family. I believe I am now being very judgemental.

My daughters tell me I should forget about how that family acts and not worry about it. Of course, worried about the influence they have on my grandchildren. My daughters, my son and and I  with love and care for them and will  instill as much as possible for them to be moral and  to treat people the way they would want to be treated. My youngest daughter makes this statement all the time.

Well it is time to start thinking positive again and move on. I know I am not supose to apologize for the long post. Thanks for reading it.


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