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Messages - Peace

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General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing?
« on: April 07, 2019, 06:38:59 pm »
Mixed for me. OCD is up, but OCD is triggered by stress, so understandable. Biggest frustration on a personal level is getting notices of medical tests that are due and due to circumstances having to wait to get them done.

My 2nd mom, my ex's mom, crossed over April 1. She was 85. Been supporting the kids with that, but mostly the ex. He calls me several times a day over numerous issues. Also assisted 5 people, including the ex, with income tax processing. My initial reaction to the separation was cut all contact with the ex. I was talking to someone about it and they advised me to do what I could live with and I agree with that, so my decision was to help him, but set boundaries to protect my own health. Sad over the loss of Mom.

Good to see your sense of humour surfacing in regards to your brothers memory loss, Peter.

Families can be a pain, Dragonfly. I'm glad you have people to support you. Don't ever forget how awesome you are!

Good to hear you're reasonably healthy, Paul. More sunlight coming up should help with the SAD hopefully.

Excited about hockey playoffs. Go Leafs Go!!


General Discussion / Re: hope to see a psychiatrist...
« on: February 11, 2019, 01:14:18 pm »
This is what I don't like about mental health. My 1st hospitalization I was 19. They suspected bipolar and wanted to start me on lithium, which I objected to, so they didn't. Each time I would slip since they suspected bipolar I had the thought in my mind I might have bipolar disorder. This breakdown I was obsessing about it. It took meeting my most recent psychiatrist, now retired, to get an accurate mental health diagnosis because he took the time to talk to me and he had experience. 30 years of seeing social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists before I got an accurate diagnosis, the rest was just a guessing game.

How are we supposed to get on the right medication and receive the right treatment if we don't know what our diagnosis is?

I wish you the best of luck, Peter. Keep advocating for yourself and keep searching for the treatment and treatment specialist fit you need and deserve.

General Discussion / Re: Getting 2 hearing aids...
« on: February 06, 2019, 03:07:16 am »
You're super lucky, Peter, tbh. There's very few companies these days who offer benefits once the employee retires. My oldest daughter is applying for jobs and my youngest is applying for post-secondary internships. I encourage them each time they ask me about a certain position with a municipality or the government because they're the only jobs I know of that offer benefits after retirement.

Good luck with the hearing aids!  :)

General Discussion / Re: hope to see a psychiatrist...
« on: January 06, 2019, 08:12:13 am »
Pretty sure the thought that entered my mind as to why there's not such a long wait for geriatric psychiatrist won't help your health anxiety, Peter  ::)

I'm the same, Paul. My previous family doctor was good as far as having tests done if concerned, etc, but her understanding of mental health conditions and her bedside manner prompted me to change. Very happy with the current gp.

Same for psychiatrists. Previous one had me so anxious I would write to him, then re-write several times as an OCD compulsion. When I changed from him to my recently retired one I started by writing to the new one until I became comfortable enough the anxiety dissipated and the OCD writing and re-writing compulsion disappeared.

Sadly my most recent psychiatrist retired, but I'm fortunate in that after 25 years in the mental health system he diagnosed me and I'm confident his diagnosis is accurate. I phoned several others upon his retirement and my phone calls weren't even returned so I decided instead of putting myself through more medication trials by obtaining the only psychiatrist available where I live who has very poor reviews I'd just stick with my current gp for medication.

Best wishes with the new psychiatrist, Peter! We're all worth being treated well.  :)

General Discussion / Re: Merry Xmas to all
« on: December 24, 2018, 07:22:34 am »
Merry Christmas Mom and everyone  :)

General Discussion / Re: Ready for Christmas/Holidays?
« on: December 17, 2018, 06:19:45 am »
Peter, that's awesome!  :) My daughter just completed an 8 month internship with the Toronto Wildlife Centre and her prime duty was bird rehabilitation and release. Great cause.

I'm ready. Gifts bought and wrapped. I'm hosting this year, first year on my own. I started about 6 weeks ago scanning the flyers and walking to stores to pick up what's needed for the meal.

Punch, spirits, egg nog, brownies, cookies, chocolates, chips as snacks. Turkey, 2 kinds of stuffing, mashed potatoes, turnip and carrots mix, gravy, cranberry sauce and strawberry zinfandel for the meal. Cheesecake and apple pie for dessert.

Last Thursday I decided to walk to Walmart to buy the last of the items needed. I got lost! I left my home at 6:20 am and didn't arrive back in my apartment until 9:15 am with soaking wet feet. I'm happy I've now got everything I need. Just have to clean on the 23rd, bake on the 24th, and cook the meal on the 25th. Looking forward to the day. I LOVE Christmas.

General Discussion / Re: hope to see a psychiatrist...
« on: December 05, 2018, 07:52:58 am »
Did it motivate you to do tasks, Peter?

General Discussion / Re: hope to see a psychiatrist...
« on: November 30, 2018, 11:13:52 am »
Forgot to mention, now I try (not always successful) to just do what needs to be done. Groceries? Go out as soon as store opens first day of sale type of thing. Exercise? First thing in the morning or as soon as I wake from a nap on goes the sweats and runners. If I don't force myself to do that I don't get anything done.

General Discussion / Re: hope to see a psychiatrist...
« on: November 30, 2018, 11:11:50 am »
My psychiatrist explained to me those of us with OCD procrastinate so much because we think things through so much we rarely take action. He used to motivate me. I had such great respect for the man, retired now, that all he'd have to say to me is "you've talked about doing that since our initial appointments, please have it done by next appointment" and that was all I needed. As soon as I left his office I put the steps in place to have the task done by next appointment. It doesn't work so well with people I don't have such great respect for, but accountability is definitely something that motivates me.

General Discussion / Re: Sleep clinic...
« on: November 22, 2018, 10:10:06 pm »
My sister uses CPAP, Peter and it really helps her. She's much more refreshed in the morning. Good luck!!

I had really bad health anxiety at one time, Peter. It's much better now. What I learned was by asking others opinions and by googling symptoms I was keeping myself unhealthy because I was telling my brain something was wrong by doing the very things to try to make myself feel better.

Trigger > anxiety > research > temporary relief, then it the anxiety would start again.

I started to find ways to prevent myself from talking about my worries and from googling. That's the only way I was able to overcome the health anxiety.

Just some friend advice  :) It's easier said than done. Good luck!


Do you think health anxiety is being triggered over this?

Peter, I love your sense of humour. Having the ability to laugh at ourselves and the silly ideas our conditions plant in our minds can go so far. The 3 N's - notice it, name it, do nothing. Notice the thought or feeling, name it - oh, anxiety or oh, silly thought, then carry on and don't pay heed to it. Valuable tool.

I mix my days up all the time, not having a job to go to does that.

Thinking of you today.


General Discussion / Re: Relapse
« on: November 02, 2018, 08:59:05 am »
I like your name, comfortably numb  :) It's one of my fav Pink Floyd songs.  8)

I've had mental health concerns for years. Something in me just clicks, not sure what it is, and if I don't pay attention to the warning signs and reassess it can spiral rapidly. At times my inability to cope is triggered by events and at times it isn't. It just is, to me there isn't much point to trying to figure out the why. I think one of the worst things that can be said to us is "what are you unhappy about, you have a nice home, etc.". Makes me feel worse about myself than I already do.

I finally after many years received accurate diagnosis - OCD, agoraphobia, PTSD and depression in order of severity. Reality is I was born with the brain disorder OCD and I must be diligent to keep fighting the monster inside my head. Healthy lifestyle and being assertive to be able to say no when overwhelmed are key to maintaining my health.

As Paul said, kudos for not drinking!! That's awesome. It's a poor coping technique that will only make the situation worse, as I'm sure you know. Not a lecture, I'm alcohol dependent myself. Just last night as I was doing my dishes and putting a glass in the cupboard I thought "I wan't a drink" then immediately told myself bad idea.

Take pride in every achievement.

Please reach out to us, we are here for you, and we understand.


I'm really sorry for your loss, Peter.  :'(

I'm the youngest in my family of 6 and there's only my sister and I left. She went on vacation a couple of months after we lost my oldest brother last year and the panic attacks when she went offline for a few days were intense. It hurts, it never goes away completely, miss everyone.

The next little while will be hard for you. Please take care of yourself and reach out whenever you need.


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