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Messages - Peace

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General Discussion / Re: Anxiety is getting to me ....
« on: February 23, 2015, 11:02:34 am »
In a horrible place too Soozan, so the best I can do at this time is: extra big hugs.

Really hope you feel better soon!

General Discussion / Re: What did you do today?
« on: February 05, 2015, 05:36:43 pm »
Hello messee,

I just wanted to welcome you  :)

I've tried some different volunteer opportunities myself, and find the right opportunity helps. I didn't stay with anything for too long because I found what I tried to do was either depressing or took social skills (which I lack). The one thing I was able to do was the odd thing for my church (getting the sanctuary ready for service suited me). That way I didn't have to go when I wasn't feeling up to it. You do not have to be religious to volunteer at a church.

Hoping to hear more from you. We are a great bunch of non-judgemental, caring friends.

General Discussion / Re: Marriage problems
« on: February 03, 2015, 10:33:39 am »
I'm really sorry you and your family are going through this, Dragonfly.

My instincts are that you will still be a part of your grandchildren's lives. This will be very traumatic and confusing for them. Hopefully their mom will do what is best for them.

I don't blame you one bit for wanting to give your daughter-in-law a piece of your mind. Your loved ones, as well as yourself, are being hurt. It's perfectly natural to feel the way you do.

My thinking is that you might want to avoid your daughter-in-law while your emotions are still so raw. Two things could happen if you get upset with her. She could then use the grandchildren as a pawn and try to limit the time they spend with you and your family. It would also be upsetting for your grandchildren if you were to confront your daughter-in-law either in front of them, or at one of their events. Children are so conscientious of how others see them.

Fight hard to remain a big part of their lives. They need you and they need as little disruption as possible. Do your best to not question them about their mom or to speak ill of their mom in front of them. I'm speaking from experience based on what happened after my parents separated. It was comforting to me to be able to have my mom's parents, who had always been a big part of my life, to call for help.

We're here for you. Hugs.

General Discussion / Re: What did you do today?
« on: January 31, 2015, 10:03:05 am »
I agree with Paul! Pick a day I'm productive.  :) I'm exhausted reading about Rich's day. Great idea for a post, though.

I haven't been sleeping. I went for 3 nights with no sleep at all. I missed one night, which triggered my OCD. The OCD makes it so I can't stop thinking, which makes it so I can't sleep. Vicious cycle.

I had my usual for breakfast, which was bran flakes and water. Hubby was home, so I also had coffee. I dealt with some things with the bank. Did some laundry. Spent too much time on the computer, but I did get to speak with some really good people on my new chat line who gave me great tips on sleeping and seemed genuinely concerned. Dealt with the company that installed our windows and doors over the horrible job they did on our garage door. Fruit for lunch. Fish and a nice variety of raw veggies for dinner. I went for a really nice walk around 9 pm.

Now that I look back, it was a healthy day. :)

General Discussion / Re: Introductions
« on: January 26, 2015, 09:58:03 am »
Hello everyone!  :)

My formal diagnosis are OCD, Agoraphobia, and Mixed-Mood Depression. I chose the name Peace because my OCD makes it so my mind never stops thinking and I crave peace. A good friend of mine recently said I remind her of watching t.v. with her brother because he channel surfs, and when I talk to people I change subjects constantly. It's very exhausting and very debilitating. To quote a song from the band Boston, all I want is to have my peace of mind.

I am married with two amazing children. I used to think of myself as mother of the year. I balanced a very stressful job with long hours, a long commute, and quality time with my family. I was very involved with my church, and with the Guiding system. Now I'm having a hard time coming to terms with my limitations, and my inability to be that person again.

My illness limits me greatly as to what I can do now. The obsessing and compulsions take up too much of my time, make it hard for me to think clearly, and leaving my home is extremely difficult. What I used to like to do is read, embroider, play in the snow (sledding, snowball fights, build snowmen), do sidewalk chalk, blow bubbles, volunteer at my church and volunteer for other causes that have meaning to me, and bake. I can still bake. I love nature and I love animals.

I am extremely thankful for this forum. There are a great group of people here who genuinely try to help each other and more importantly who understand. Thanks friends  :)

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 25, 2015, 10:30:15 am »
Thanks Dragonfly, Paul and Lou  :)

It means so much to have words of encouragement and understanding from people who actually understand  :)

My sister took my daughter and I to the mall on Friday when she finished work. I'm certain I'd be doing so much better by now if I had more people like my sister I could go places with. My husband only tells me all the things I did wrong when I go out with him, and he's left me to find my own way home when I've told him I'm not able to do more than I'm able while we're out.

Success on the shopping trip! :) I purchased an adorable blanket with a matching ladybug, a Hello Kitty robe, and a baby's first Christmas ornament :) A little more than I wanted to spend, but I only sent a card when they got married, so I made up for it with the baby gift. I'm adding "great" to my titles now, it makes me feel so old.  :D We also found everything my daughter needed. It was an enjoyable outing.

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 22, 2015, 06:41:27 am »
Thanks Paul, Lou and Dragonfly! Your words of encouragement mean so much  :)

I was planning to walk two nights ago, but my husband asked me to watch a movie. It was This Is Where I Leave You and I recommend it. I walked on my own last night. I think the key is that as soon as it's dark outside I need to make the walk a priority.

I feel like a failure today. I want to buy a baby gift for my nephew. My daughter needs some clothes. Yesterday my husband said he'd drop my daughter and I off at a shopping mall to shop, then pick us up after he had the oil changed on the car. This morning I decided I couldn't do it because it's a large shopping mall. My daughter hates shopping and while very understanding towards me, isn't someone I can safely go someplace like shopping.  :-[

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 19, 2015, 08:51:21 am »
Thanks, DeterminedJay. Appreciate the offer :)

It's okay, Peter. I hope you're doing well and the obstacles aren't overwhelming. I've actually gotten more comfortable on the chat line my social worker gave me, and I've connected with different people. I just need to ignore the ones that don't have good intentions.

I walked 3 out of the last 5 days and am quite proud of myself for that.  :)

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 15, 2015, 09:58:39 am »
It would be perfect, Dragonfly.  :) You're right, though, I don't think we live close enough.

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 14, 2015, 09:06:29 am »
Thanks everyone for making me feel better about what I'm ashamed of :) I was trying to find out if there were any good, safe chat lines to talk to people in an effort to help with my loneliness and I was ashamed of myself for needing one.  :-[

My social worker, who I don't have anymore, gave me one and I've been using it the last couple of days. There's a stream of chat and you can talk personally to people. I'm really anxious about the whole thing, and someone came in the room trying to hit on people this morning. I need to be careful about what type of information I give out. My anxiety has been triggered from what happened this morning.

Peter, I'm in a highly populated area that doesn't have a lot of resources.

I can walk with my sister, but she lives too far away. I'm having difficulty coordinating my walk time with a friend up the street. Another friend said she doesn't have a 2nd vehicle (she's a 5 minute drive from me), but doesn't make an effort on weekends when she has a vehicle. My friend I'm really comfortable with needs to walk with other people as well as me for some reason. We were walking a lot a couple of summers ago and another friend of hers came along. That friend, whose son goes to school with my daughter, told her son she doesn't like me. A huge blow to my self-esteem.

The friend was here for a visit last week and I told her I needed to walk again. I thought I set it up with her to call me and walk over this way. She said she didn't mind at all. I haven't heard from her. I called and left a message, and she didn't call me back. There's been other people I've asked as well, and either nothing has come of it, or we've walked for a while then not again after that.

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 12, 2015, 10:13:54 am »
Hi again everyone,

The truth of the matter is that I'm extremely lonely, but I was too embarrassed to say so. It's extremely hard for me to leave my home. I'm not trying to get sympathy from anyone, what I'm asking for is suggestions as to how I can alleviate some of my loneliness. There's only a few people that I'm comfortable with and can socialize with. Sadly, I've practically begged different people to go for walks with me, and nothing is working out. I'm tired of asking, it's rather demeaning.

Any and all suggestions would be welcomed!

General Discussion / Re: Bell's "Lets Talk"
« on: January 11, 2015, 11:25:18 am »
Thanks for sharing, Paul!  :) I was really touched by Howie Mandels. Me too!

General Discussion / Re: I don't feel good
« on: January 11, 2015, 11:19:29 am »
Thanks Dragonfly and Lou  :) I'm still not the greatest today, but I'm a little better than yesterday.

General Discussion / I don't feel good
« on: January 10, 2015, 11:08:22 am »
Sorry everyone. It's the honest truth and I don't know what to do or where to turn. I know I'm not giving a lot of detail. I just needed to reach out to anonymous friends.

General Discussion / Re: Online Support Groups
« on: January 07, 2015, 09:56:32 am »
Thanks Peter! I took a look at Mood Garden and it looks interesting. My google search for reviews didn't find anything for them, so I'm taking that as a positive about the site.

As for the cyber bullying, there was one group I found through google search that dealt with grief, health issues and mental health. I really liked was I saw on the website. I don't want to name them since I'm not saying positive things abouth them. Instead of blindly joining I did a search for reviews of the group and read about a lot of cyber bullying within the group.

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