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Topics - Littleorchid

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General Discussion / Lost fiance
« on: April 12, 2017, 02:02:47 pm »
Dear people of the net,

My fiance left me on christmas for reasons that are more or less fair. I was abusing pot which made my moodswings too much for him to handle once the withdrawel process started (have not smoked since christmas). He wants to be friends but the process has been laboursome to him. I cannot seem to keep my cool during most every conversation. It reached the point where he said I should not contact him untill i am finished treatment and my mood becomes Stablized. I am currently attending aa meetings and switched to alcohol.

Firstly, my main concern should be remaining sober, but the lack if his presence in my life is a huge trigger. He was my only friend it seems. I have an autistic spectrum disorder so it becomes difficult to connect with people since i either over share or don't share at all. Or i just snap at people and no one wants a snappy friend.

Secondly, I am taking abilify which really helps - i barely argue with my mom now. I had to move back in with her when my fiance kicked me out. Yet still with my ex i cannot contain myself.

Thirdly not txting my ex has been hell. And knowing that holding on to the hope of his return is futile is even more damnning. I know that I should respect the space he has requested and that even if I didn't... it would eventually lead to him blocking me etc. I thought of writing him a letter and sending it in the mail so that no harsh words would be exchanged. I feel more stable now as the weather gets better and i forcemyself to leave the house.

Completely overwhelmed by lonelyness and self hatred

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