Messages

226

General Discussion / Re: Sorry about little feedback...

« on: February 16, 2015, 03:40:18 pm »

Peter,

I agree with Soozan and LuckyLou you have nothing to apologize for. Your humour and posts add so much to this forum.

Dragonfly

227

General Discussion / Re: I very often judge people by their physical outward appearance. Do you?

« on: February 15, 2015, 07:31:56 pm »

Hi Soozan,

Thank you! You are so kind! I often think it would be so nice to meet some of you on this forum! 

Dragonfly

228

General Discussion / Re: I very often judge people by their physical outward appearance. Do you?

« on: February 15, 2015, 02:23:47 pm »

Hi LuckyLou & Soozan,

I am afraid I am not very knowledgeable about music. I do like to listen to music. Half the time I don't know the artist or band. I must admit I do know some. 

229

General Discussion / Re: I very often judge people by their physical outward appearance. Do you?

« on: February 13, 2015, 11:55:03 pm »

LuckyLou,

I said the person in the picture looked like a handsome devil. Don't take that wrong. That is only an expression. I think that person is very attractive and hansome!

230

General Discussion / Re: I very often judge people by their physical outward appearance. Do you?

« on: February 13, 2015, 10:15:08 pm »

LuckyLou,

I have often wanted to ask you if that is a picture posted of you on this forum. Whomever that picture is from I have wanted to say what a handsome devil. I am not kidding. I am serious.

Dragonfly

231

General Discussion / Re: I very often judge people by their physical outward appearance. Do you?

« on: February 12, 2015, 02:44:10 pm »

Hi Soozan,

Thank you for your insight. You mentioned that you are morbidly obese. I am too. I wasn't when I was younger. See I am trying to justify the fact that I wasn't always that way. Am I wording that right. My husband never critized me for being overweight. I would say I am fat. From what he would say if I remember correctly maybe pleasantly plump. My husband said it didn't matter. He loved me very much and didn't I know how much I meant to him.

It really bothers me that I am overweight. Society makes us feel that way. The thing I am worried about is how it effects my health. My mother was overweight and she lived to be 92 yrs. old. She did have heart problems though. As you say Soozan I am probably my own worst critic.

I am so glad Soozan that you and Rich found each other. My daughters would probably say you are getting mushy Mom.

Happy Valentine's Day!!! 

Dragonfly

232

General Discussion / I very often judge people by their physical outward appearance. Do you?

« on: February 12, 2015, 11:46:35 am »

Hi everyone,

I have a very bad habit of looking at the physical appearance of a man or woman and then thinking that because of their looks they have a certain personality. I don't always give them a chance to show their inner self. Do any of you do the same thing?

In my family I had 5 siblings. Two older sisters. My oldest sister was labelled (is that the right word) as intellectually smart with a nice figure. My second oldest sister was very pretty. According to my parents not too smart intellectually. To this day she says she is stupid about a lot of things. I was labelled as intellectually smart. Not as nice looking as my sisters. Very handy in the things that I did. You grow up with low self esteem about your looks. Don't get me wrong they were good parents. My parents thought my husband was the nicest looking in his family of 4 siblings.

My husband comes from a family of 4 siblings. They were pigeon holed. Everyone had their strengths. His parents didn't know what my husband was going to be. I guess they didn't see his strengths. Did they think he was weak? Maybe. This did a number on his self esteem. Again they were good parents.

I have a brother-in-law. Outwardly he is not a very nice looking man as most people also say. He is like a brother to me and we are constantly kidding each other which we enjoy.

Thank heavens we don't all like or dislike certain people.

I have to stop looking at just the outside cover of a person. Sometimes you look at a person that is not physically attractive to you (that is only your opinion - some people might think otherwise) and you are pleasantly surprised what a great personality they have. Sometimes nice looks and not such a great personality.

People that are thought to be attractive and know it really bother me. They are so full of themselves. I don't particularly like those personalities.

Am I making sense or am I just babbling. Just throwing out ideas. I hope I haven't described my family too much and I am full of myself. I know I shouldn't say that and people are going to give me heck for that.

A lot of us (maybe that is not true) look at the movie stars and idolize some of them. They like their good looks. We like to believe what the press says about them.

I am being very wordy again. Thanks if you read to the end of this.

Dragonfly

233

General Discussion / Re: Employment / Volunteer opportunities, and others experiences

« on: February 10, 2015, 09:08:25 pm »

Hi messee,

I am afraid I can't help you much. I am retired now. I can't really volunteer due to my health.

Hope you find some answers.

Dragonfly

234

General Discussion / Re: Humour

« on: February 08, 2015, 07:53:22 pm »

Thanks guys.  You made me laugh.

Paul the joke about the monsters under the bed and being cured by cutting off the legs of the bed reminded me of something. When my kids were young my eldest daughter hid under my son's bed. When he went to bed she put her hand up. It scared the heck out of him. We still talk about it to this day.

Dragonfly

235

General Discussion / Re: My son is going to see a mediator

« on: February 08, 2015, 07:44:51 pm »

Rich,

I have never experienced someone separating from their spouse especially so close to me.

Thank you for the information. I do hope that things will go amically for him. As you say I guess there will be a cost for the mediator but cheaper than lawyers or court costs.

My daughter-in-law has told my son that she wants child support and not alimony. He says if he has to pay both he might as well go on welfare. My son has a much larger income. She only has a part time low paying job. I am not putting her down for that.

Dragonfly

236

General Discussion / My son is going to see a mediator

« on: February 08, 2015, 01:13:26 pm »

For some of you that don't know my daughter-in-law and my son are separating. Suddenly she wanted out of the marriage. My daughter-in-law is

 having an affair. My son and his wife have two kids, an 8 yr. old girl and 5 yr. old boy.

My son's wife will not talk to him. My son is making an appointment for a mediator. Before he signs any separation papers he will see a lawyer.

Can anyone tell me what a mediator is or does?

I feel like I am constantly on this forum talking about my troubles. I know other people have problems too.

Dragonfly

 

237

General Discussion / Re: Marriage problems

« on: February 07, 2015, 07:49:52 pm »

I have spoken to my son and he intends to get a lawyer and have him or her go over the separation agreement before he signs anything.

I have to be very careful around my son. If he wants to talk I will listen to him and perhaps make a few comments if appropriate.

My son has told me sometimes he doesn't want to talk about the situation. I have told him that if I say something about the situation and he doesn't want to hear it at that time to tell me off.

Dragonfly 

238

General Discussion / Re: This is my third time in about three weeks that I have phoned a distress line

« on: February 07, 2015, 07:42:51 pm »

Thank you Paul & LuckyLou,

I am going to my grandson's next hockey game. I know his mother and possibly her mother will be there. I will be civil to them for the sake of my son and especially my grandchildren.

I realize that if my daughter-in-law goes into a long term  relationship with her boyfriend that I will have to see him somewhere along the line. I will see him.

Dragonfly

239

General Discussion / This is my third time in about three weeks that I have phoned a distress line

« on: February 06, 2015, 12:30:57 am »

Hi everyone,

It is really hitting me hard right now about my son and daughter-in-law separating. I have been in tears. I needed to talk to someone. I phoned up the distress line that I have used very recently. I spoke to the nicest man. He listened to me talk which I did a lot and sympatized with me.

I have thought about this situation a lot. I must admit that my son is no saint. He really tried to make the marriage work. My son has worked hard to support his family. He took care of the kids while she went out partying and dancing with her friends and we now realize her boyfriend. In hindsight my son realizes that the affair his wife was having has been going on for at least 2 years. Maybe longer.
I am having a hard time going to watch my grandchildren swim and play hockey because my daughter-in-law and mother are there. I am going to have to be strong for my grandchildren and son and go eventually.

I have told my son that I will continue to pay for the swimming and hockey. There is one condition though. I know I will see my daughter-in-law and her mother there. I will be civil to them.

I do not want my daughter-in-laws boyfriend to come and watch. Is that unreasonable of me? I don't know if I could control myself then.

Dragonfly

240

General Discussion / Re: Introductions

« on: February 06, 2015, 12:09:45 am »

Hi Messee and welcome,

This is a great forum. It has helped me so much. I am afraid that I am not long on words right now. Post as much as you want. We are here for you.

Dragonfly