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Messages - CanadianEm

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General Discussion / Re: Introduction
« on: December 08, 2014, 04:04:37 pm »
I feel better knowing im not the only one suffering with addiction, I haven't heard of anyone actually having an addiction, people say a lot of people do, but actually being able to talk with someone who has it is different.

k9sedona if you dont mind me asking what do mean by "pit" ive never heard that term before. I don't know about you but with me my meds have to be adjusted every couple of years because they doctors say that your body ends up becoming accustom to them the amount your on, so they have to up them or change them to help better. Personally I tell them don't change them because that means slowly going off one and slowly going on the other and with me that doesn't work. I need to be on this specific amount or higher because, ok this is how the doctor has to tried to explain it to me, its not my serotonin level that needs help, its some other level and the medication I take will only effect the level I need help on if its over the 150mg, so if they want to change and go to another i am sorta screwed because once i reach lower than 150mg i start feeling the same things all over again and then trying to find a new one is so hard. Before they found effexor for me, i had probably tried out 5 others, so i hope you understand.

Hop your appointment goes well. Please update, I would be very interested in knowing. 

General Discussion / Re: bad feeling in stomach......
« on: December 08, 2014, 03:17:28 pm »
Hey Peter,

I am sorry to hear that you are having this feeling, i hope it is getting better. I can understand how difficult it must be believing something through out your life to find out afterwards it wasn't what you believed at all. I think that is what you are trying to say. If i have gotten in wrong im sorry.

Personally after hearing your story i believe what you are feeling is like that your world is coming apart but that could just be my interpretation, because if i had grown up knowing one thing and then found out it was different, i would be thinking what else is a lie and then i would start thinking everything ive been told is a lie and start questioning everything i knew, making me feel very vulnerable.

Hope you are doing ok.

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 03, 2014, 04:32:47 pm »
Dragonfly you are not being negative at all certain things work for some people, while for others it doesn't, everyone learns there own personal things that work and dont work. I haven't used the SAD long enough to see any difference, Ive only been using it for like 4 days.

I don't know if any of you have ever been in this situation, but I had a drivers license, but one time when I had a episode (i guess thats what you would call it because my anxiety took over and i freaked out, my dad called the cops on me) so of course i was taken to the hospital and released the next day. About a week later I received a letter from the ministry of transportation, saying that this doctor that i saw at the hospital on that day, wrote and deemed me unfit to drive, so the ministry revoked my license. They said the only way i could get it back is if i went to court. I have looked into it and found out that there are so many fees involved with this. First you just have to pay $500, to even have this matter taken before the courts.

So, I am literally royally screwed over, im only 24 and basically for the rest of my life i cant drive, unless i go to court, pay these outrageous fees and then the judge could say no. So, I can't go anywhere unless I have my father drive me, which is like pulling teeth, LOL; or find a way to get there by bus. But where I live there is nothing close by for me to go to. 

General Discussion / Re: Praise for a Social Organization
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:21:58 pm »
Peace I am so glad that you found such a wonderful organization. It makes the biggest difference in someones life when they show you that little bit of kindness especially when we are dealing with these personal issues.

I am afraid to join any organization because I don't want people to see my true colours. I always feel like I am going to be judged so hard, that they would like look at me and be like why are you, you don't have anything wrong, your just wasting our time. That's why for years I never did anything, not even one on one counseling. It wasn't until I literally had a breakdown and I took the initiative to at least start one on one counseling. Slowly I will try joining organizations...but i will be honest, I am deeply scared.

General Discussion / Re: Introduction
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:12:00 pm »
I feel better knowing that people that suffer with mental health issues have also had substance abuse problems. I thought I was the only one out there that not only suffered from depression and anxiety but was trying to deal with it through substance abuse. Which made me feel horrible because I believed that there was something completely wrong with me. When I see my substance abuse counselor, he always says don't forget that you are human, that what you feel is not wrong. Today was the first day I actually broke down and cried because even though I have told him some of the very horrible things I have gone through and have to deal with on a daily basis, he has always said why don't you show any emotion. I always thought that was rude but today I realized that I have always been afraid of showing my emotions to anyone even myself. I never allowed myself to cry or feel happy or anything. And it wasn't until today talking with him that I realized I am human and its ok to have emotions.

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:02:24 pm »
You are so right paul. Its a big circle of doing that where you put it off, feel guilty, then you dont want to because you feel worse and it just keeps on going. I managed to get up and go do it, I found it (very happy) and have it sitting out, so I know everyday to use it. I remembered having the issue when I first got it, once I finished i would put it back in the box and then the effort to pull it out, just became overwhelming.

I think one of my issues is that i assume that you will automatically see changes, but i know that doesnt happen everything takes time. LOL

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: November 30, 2014, 08:46:18 am »
I do have the SADD lamp. When I moved back into my dad's apartment it got packed and is somewhere in the shed. I think that is going to be my goal for today, go to the shed and find it, so I can start using it. I am definitely finding writing on here is helping me so much, because at least you guys arent judge mental and understand.

Jenny your idea of a sensory room sounds amazing. I think we should look at making a business of it. Rooms filled with bright colours. Spring sounds, there could be private rooms if you want to be alone or like a coffee shop type room, if you want to sit and talk with others.

I hope everyone feels better too.

General Discussion / Re: Introduction
« on: November 30, 2014, 08:38:13 am »
Thank you all for your advice and help. I already feel so welcome. I have never really been able to talk to anyone about my issues and I already feel so welcome and comfortable.

It was actually interesting my psychiatrist said that she was going to drop me as a patient, because she doesn't need to follow me since I don't have a "severe problem" and that I should just follow up with my family doctor. So I went to my family doctor and we had a great talk, she said she was annoyed my psychiatrist just dropped me, but she said that she was glad as well. Since, my psychiatrist never talked to me about CBT or anything to help with my feelings when they start to become overwhelming. So my family doctor has now referred me to 3 programs, 2 of them are CBT and the other is substance abuse.

The reason why I have been referred to substance abuse is that since I have never had help learning how to deal with feelings, I have become an alcoholic. I drink to forget these feelings and just like make me numb. Definitely not something I am proud off, but I am finally happy that I admitted it and am seeking help.

General Discussion / Re: winter blues
« on: November 24, 2014, 02:41:52 pm »
I am with you all on this. Winter time is the hardest on me. This is usually when I have dropped out of school or gotten fired from jobs because I just don't have the energy or want to get up and do anything. This year I am not working or in school because I just haven't wanted to for almost a year, so I am on social assistance and am living with my father, not always the easiest. The worst part I am dealing with is that i fractured my ankle back in august and it still hasn't healed, so I am even more stuck because I cant even get out really to get fresh air because I am stuck in a cast. Any thoughts and ideas on how i can cope through this winter.

General Discussion / Introduction
« on: November 24, 2014, 02:26:11 pm »
Hi Everyone,

I am very glad to become part of this forum. I have been suffering with severe depression and anxiety since I was 14. I am now 22 and I am still learning on how to cope with this. I am on the anti-depressant Effexor, and have been on that one since I was 18. I have been on many others, however they didn't seem to work the same way this one is. No one else I know has anxiety or depression, so they keep saying I shouldn't be on medication; I don't know if many of you have been in the same situation. I try to explain that I can't come off it, because I know I will like have a big melt down. Where I have done some things that I am not proud off, I'm assuming you will understand what I mean by that.
There are so many things that I could talk about, but I don't know where to start.

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