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Topics - Peace

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General Discussion / Online Support Groups
« on: January 07, 2015, 06:46:32 am »
Hi everyone :)

I was wondering if anyone knew of a good online support group. I've looked into a few, but decided to read independent reviews before joining. So far I've read about a lot of cyber bullying and inability to remove your account once you joined.

Much appreciated, and hoping everyone is hanging in there.

General Discussion / Check In
« on: December 31, 2014, 09:39:17 am »
Hi everyone,

There hasn't been a lot of action. I genuinely care about the members here, and am interested in knowing how everyone is doing and how everyone did throughout Christmas.  ???

I'm at a stage where I can leave my home with only a few people I'm comfortable with due to my anxiety. Unfortunately those people either don't live too close to me or have busy lifestyles. There's a lovely woman that lives 3 houses away from me that I'm not overly comfortable with (uncomfortable silences at times) that I'm going to call this morning to see if she wants to go for a short walk.  :-[ This will be difficult for me, but I'm going to force myself.

My oldest daughter has been out of the province for two weeks. She returns late on Thursday. She called  us one day for drug plan information due to a private health issue. A few days later (3 am Sunday) we received a text from her friend saying she was quite ill and was being taken to hospital. Naturally, I lost it a little. I was able to speak to her on the phone later that day. She's currently feeling a little better, but in a weakened state. I can't wait for her to return home so we can care for her and know how she is. I feel so bad for her for spending so much money to go away, then for getting as sick as she did.

My childhood was quite dysfunctional, but I always remember despite it all that Christmas was special so I'd like to do the same for my family. My husband has been somewhat bah humbug the last few years. My father-in-law passed away in August of this year. My step-mother-in-law and step-family members currently will not talk to either my husband or I, so my husband is not only grieving the loss of his dad, but also the loss of his step-family. He has very little in the way of family. My husband, youngest daughter and I opened presents Christmas morning, but my husband was very lackadaisical during the opening of the presents. He would not eat Christmas dinner with my daughter and I.

It was my sister-in-laws turn to hold the family Christmas (siblings and their offspring) this year. She told my sister she would not be doing it (my brother passed over June 2013). I was next in line. My sister sent an email out to everyone saying she would hold it (she knew I didn't feel well enough to). My husband said if my sister held it he wouldn't go since it was our turn. Since I can't drive my daughter and I wouldn't have been able to attend, so I held the event. I sent an email out asking who would attend. My sister-in-law whose turn it was didn't respond and none of my nephews responded. After time, my sister phoned her son and told him to let me know, which he did and we had a nice conversation. I sent a follow-up email to my sister-in-law and remaining nephews saying my health is extremely poor and I'm unable to leave the home so I need to know who's attending so I can be prepared. No response. I finally got ahold of my nephews through Facebook. Both said they would be here with their girlfriends and one said he thought his mom was attending.

My sister-in-law never let me know if she would be here or not, and did not show up. I found it a little disrespectful considering it was her turn to hold the gathering. I'm trying to not think the way I do and keep in mind she's grieving my brother, but it's difficult. My nephews stayed 2.5 hours and the rest of my family stayed 4 hours. I was really disappointed because my husband, daughter and I put a lot of effort and expense into the day. I'm still trying to recover from the effort it took to host the gathering.

A big deal was made during the gathering about where I was sitting. I sat on the stairs because I need an escape and it was the only place available that could give me that. People meant well, but I ended up going into a long explaination about why  I had to sit where I was sitting. Unfortunately, people couldn't accept that I was okay where I was. My husband tried to move a chair into hall for me to sit on, and it upset me because with my OCD I couldn't handle the chair in the hall, which I've tried to explain to my husband many times. I was exhausted from the preparations and from being made center of attention over where I was sitting, so I said "no, my OCD" and ran from the room in tears.  :-[

If you made it to the end of this, thank you so much for listening.  :) Looking forward to hearing how everyone else managed and how everyone is now.

General Discussion / Praise for a Social Organization
« on: December 02, 2014, 10:12:47 am »
I've been in the mental health system for over 30 years. I've attended different groups and organizations. It's been hard trying to find the right fit and I've left every group or organization except for one for one reason or another.

The local social organization I still belong to has been a saviour for me. I don't want to say their name because I don't want to reveal where I live, but I wanted to share the wonderful experiences I've had recently.

I phoned the organization last year for help with attending activities at the same time as my doctors appointment so I didn't have to leave my home too many times a month (Agoraphobia). The person I spoke with helped me find the right activities for me. Recently my mental health has declined and I spoke to the same person a few weeks ago. We have to see him at the end of the activity for something and I told him I'm having a hard time being out for so long at a time. He told me I could leave the activity part way through if I wanted and arranged for me to see him at the beginning of the activity instead of at the end.

My doctor changed my appointment last minute on me and I had to go to the activity last night and to see him today, which I'm struggling with. His regular secretary is off on leave and his fill in secretary made it very difficult to book the appointment I usually have for future months. I made an appointment for a day there's no activity. I spoke to the gentleman at the social organization last night for January's activities and he actually booked an activity that he would lead, even though he's very busy, on the day of my doctors appointment. When I was sitting at the table with the group planning the activities and he planned it for that date I almost cried at the kindness he's shown me.

Kudos to this particular organization, to the social worker there for all he has done, and to the mental health workers who really care and make a difference.  :)

General Discussion / Check In
« on: October 25, 2014, 08:24:12 am »
Hi everyone :) I just wanted to do a check in.

For myself, I'm pretty much trying to take everything day by day. I have Agoraphobia and went for a walk with my oldest daughter the night before last. I was going to try to walk last night on my own, but didn't find the courage. I'll try again tonight. I have to go after dark. My street is perfect for it, its a circle without a lot of traffic.

My OCD is spinning a little out of control and I think it's because there's so much going on in my life to deal with that I try to gain control through my OCD, if that makes any sense. As an example, I can feel some sort of "normalcy" if the glasses in my cupboard are lined up in the right order.  Odd, but true.

The things going on include grieving the loss of my father-in-law and dealing with the family feuding that took place immediately after, trying to find window coverings and fixing structural problems to our home in a way that won't break us financially, finding the proper post-secondary education for my youngest, finding rides for my youngest home from work late at night in a way that won't tire everyone out, cataract eye surgery for my husband, and helping my oldest balance university with working.

Please reply and let me know how everyone else is doing. You're all awesome!

General Discussion / Welcome Neither Here Nor There
« on: October 04, 2014, 11:47:47 am »
I've read a couple of your replies to posts and wanted to say welcome! There are a great bunch of non-judgemental and supportive people here.  :)

General Discussion / Feeling Uncomfortable
« on: September 21, 2014, 07:54:13 am »
The spam we've been receiving lately has been bothering me so I took a look at the members list. There are a number of members with capital letters and numbers. I personally am not feeling comfortable at all with posting because of this. I didn't feel this way on the other forum.

I was wondering how everyone else feels.

General Discussion / Need to Vent
« on: September 13, 2014, 08:21:20 am »
I'm very frugal and my husband is a "keep up with the Jones" type of person . I can honestly say he's unnecessarily spent at least $200,000 (probably more) of our money in our time together. I need security in my life, possibly due to moving numerous times after my parents divorce and watching each of my parents run out of money early in their lives.

His latest expenditure was to replace every single window and door in our home, even though some still had years of life left in them. I pleaded with him to replace them in installments in order to reduce the financial impact and the stress our home is under. He went ahead and replaced them all anyway. When the person came to measure I realized after he left our existing window coverings would not fit due to the size of the frame the installer wanted to use so I emailed our salesman (my best form of communication due to my anxiety) and said I wanted the same size frame. My husband told me to leave the salesman alone and he would deal with it. The salesman gave my husband the brush off. I now have to replace window coverings on two doors and 5 windows.

I knew I couldn't handle the noise of the installation in my home so I planned to spend Sunday to Wednesday at my sisters while the windows were being installed. Due to Agoraphobia I haven't been away from my home in 3 years and was enjoying the lack of stress in my sisters home. I contacted my husband Monday night to talk about staying longer, but I wasn't sure how much longer, definitely not more than a week in total. I then received a message from my youngest daughter through Facebook about how rude I was for not giving prior notice to staying away longer and I was sworn at. When I arrived home Friday (away for 5 days) to attend a drapery appointment, I talked to my husband and he admitted to speaking to both my daughters about his unhappiness with my not returning home Wednesday.

I feel I'm literally powerless regarding any type of decision. I feel year after year I've done exactly what my husband wanted and when I realized due to my health I couldn't keep my high paying job and tried to speak up every single concern I've expressed was ignored, only to hear afterwards I was right. We've had marital counselling and when the counsellor suggested a budget my husband got angry with him.

This probably sounds dramatic, but I literally feel I'm dying from the stress of trying to keep up with my husbands materialism. His new motorcycle (purchased this year) has not brought him the happiness he hoped for because the Harley riders don't wave to him. My chest hurts, I hyperventilate and when I try to have dinner with my husband at the table I often end up choking and have had to run to the bathroom to vomit.

I'm sincerely sorry for the negative tone of this post. I'm not sure where to turn.

General Discussion / Daniel F
« on: August 15, 2014, 09:13:28 am »
I like what you've added to the forum. I like your comments and like that when I've reached out in distress you've taken the time and made the effort to find information for me.  :)

General Discussion / Set Back and Thank You
« on: August 08, 2014, 07:36:37 am »
Hello everyone,

A lot has gone wrong for me recently and there's a situation I'm dealing with that I don't want to make public. The last time this situation happened, my pdoc gave me his cell phone number for support and my sister wanted me in hospital. This time, my pdoc had me put a support system in place and the beautiful women from my church are going above and beyond to help me.

Yesterday the social worker from CMHA (who is aware of my need for additional support right now) that has been coming to my home every 2 to 3 weeks told me I was being discharged. I started to hyperventilate and cry and I had to leave the room. My worker asked me to return to the room to try to talk and I tried. I'm not an outspoken person, but I said to her as a mental health organization their timing was very poorly thought out. At a time when I needed the most support I was being told my support was being withdrawn. I couldn't stop hyperventilating and crying and I told my social worker I couldn't deal with this right now and I asked her to leave my home.

I needed to vent a little, but I also wanted to say thank you to everyone here for being here for me over the years. Even just one response to a post can help make a huge difference.

General Discussion / CAMH
« on: August 04, 2014, 08:23:52 am »
Hello everyone,

I have an appointment coming up at CAMH that a family member is driving me to. I've never been there. Does anyone have any tips? Anything at all, but I think one of my primary concerns is the most inexpensive place to park.

Thanks in advance!

General Discussion / Hello Everyone
« on: July 30, 2014, 11:17:54 pm »
I just wanted to say hi to everyone since quite the change has been made to our forum. How is everyone doing?

Peace formerly known as spirit  :)

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