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Topics - Amanda

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General Discussion / Problems with Anxiety
« on: March 15, 2016, 02:47:32 pm »
I'm having a really bad time with social anxiety and delusional thinking. I am on a nice private Facebook group of friendly women, several of whom are friends. The focus is physical wellbeing and personal goal setting, with an emphasis on encouragement and mutual support. What could be nicer? But suddenly I became fixated on the idea that the group (and especially the group owner) did not want me on the group and wished I would leave. Every time I posted anything I was tormented by this image of people rolling their eyes and saying "oh no, there she is again". I also had very clear fantasies that the group administrators (including two friends) were talking together about the group members and especially agreeing that I am crazy and a negative presence on the group. In my anxiety I actually emailed the group leader and asked her if it was okay for me to be part of the group. Of course she was confused. I had been invited onto the group by a friend who is also a friend of hers. Afraid of damaging my relationships with people I left Facebook altogether for a while and just let my friends know by email that I was having a bit of bad health but would be back. I am trying to post on this group again (completely innocent posts congratulating people on reaching their exercise goals or wishing them well if they have a cold) but every time I do I feel sick with anxiety and am tortured by these ideas that they all think I am very disturbed and difficult and that they really dislike me. Rationally I know this doesn't make any sense. I can't even talk about it with my friends on the group because, although they know I have bipolar disorder and are sympathetic, they don't understand how I could think one thing and feel another and really not be able to make the two line up. Hoping that someone here understands! I don't want to walk away from a nice group of nice people - I need those in my life - but it's starting to occupy my every waking moment.

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