Hello Momfeelinglost. I'm glad that your son gets to see his children and I'm sorry that his marriage is beyond repair. I've never understood the need some people feel to inject hate into an affair that doesn't directly concern them.
When my wife and I had our troubles(many yrs ago) , I could not believe the number of people that came out of no where to give my wife bad advice and to try and turn my kids against me. Most of them were people who I didn't even know and few that I did know who should have known better.
Unfortunately some people can't seem to help themselves, fortunately my wife and I had agreed that no matter what happened we would not use, or allow our kids to be used as pawns. I wish your son and you good luck in the years to come as I know that they will be tough.
In regards to be far away from your other son, I've never lived that far away from relatives, but it must be tough for both you and him. I could never understand how Canada ever got populated by Europeans in the first place. I could never have moved to a place where I might never see a relative again(although I do have a few that I wouldn't mind not seeing again).
What follows you may already have tried and I know that it definitely isn't the same as being there, but have you ever tried skype?
The cost of buying a scanner and microphone for your (and his ) computer is not that much and then you can video conference for free. I don't use it, but I know some people who do and it does work. I'm sure that a local computer store could tell you how to hook it up. You can also google skype for info. There is a charge if you use it to call land lines, but it's free computer to computer.
However I know that is not nearly the same as being there. The only other suggestion that I have is that when my wife and I lived in Northern Ont and our first son got to be about 6mths old, she and the baby would fly home to see her parents and I would stay at home so that there was only one airfare to pay for. The baby flew for free. Perhaps you could offer to help him with part of the airfare to come home with the baby and it would not be so expensive. Our son didn't travel well until he was 6mths old and we suspect it was because the air pressure changes affected his ear drums. After 6mths he traveled fine.
I also know that all of my suggestions involve money and when money is tight, even a little is too much. I hope that next year will be better for you. Take Care. paul m