Author Topic: Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?  (Read 3143 times)

JennyRN70

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Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« on: December 12, 2014, 05:09:55 pm »
So it is that time of year again where we get the holidays stuffed down our throat - for many years now I have not been one to get excited/happy about this time of year - I lost my Nanny on December 21st in 1997 and have really never been the same since - I find it interesting that apparently over the month of December you are supposed to pretend that everything is okay - when often it it far from it - I can remember being suicidal 8 years ago Christmas eve - thankfully I am not ill like that anymore so I can deal with the holidays and I have a strong belief in God which is starting to help - it's hard as an only child though not to want that pile of presents I used to get when I was young (my Mom would often be manic and go Christmas shopping for me).  Anyway today I was shopping for baking ingredients and could almost feel my Nanny with me - it was nice - but I feel her more when I am at the cottage in the summer time.  Thanks for reading and I hope the rest of you can get through this time of year with minimal upset - and maybe even some happiness and fun.

xoxo
Jen

Dragonfly

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Re: Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2014, 12:03:32 am »
JennyRN70

I find this time of year stressful too. My husband had his birthday on Dec. 6. It is a difficult day to get through.
I have to be careful not to get too overtired. One day I went Christmas shopping with my daughter until the early afternoon. Actually the business in the stores wasn't bad. After that it was dinner at my house with both my daughters. Then off to a concert in which my granddaughter performed. That was putting too much in one day for me. I should have been smarter. When at my son's afterwards my two grandchildren were acting up. I really yelled at them in front of my family. I felt so bad after. Besides tiredness, my sugar level was down and that works on your emotions.
My husband used to play Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. We miss him so much and that tradition really points that out.
I do celebrate Christmas with my immediate family. For that I am very thankful for.

Dragonfly

paulm

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Re: Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2014, 08:59:38 pm »
Hello JennyRN and Dragonfly. I can sympathize with you both.

  I don't have a lot of problems getting through the actual Christmas part. I have never been overly excited about Christmas(at least since I was a little kid), but I really have to pace myself in the lead up to Christmas.

 It's really easy for me to over do it and either become irritable or exhausted or both. I'm pretty good at socializing, but I find it tough at Christmas when there are just so many events that I feel compelled to take part in. The fact that some of that socializing is done with people that I don't necessarily like doesn't help either. (They probably don't like me either LOL)

 Unlike you Dragonfly, I have the opposite problem in Dec, my sugar levels tend to get too high and that isn't good either, but I just can't seem to resist all of the temptations that abound around Christmas.

 Over time I've learned a lot about how to get through the Christmas season without something major going wrong(Doesn't always work LOL).  My wife did remark just the other day that my mood seemed to be getting more irritable. So I will have to try and make some adjustments. 

 I hope that you both can find a way to enjoy your Christmas. Take Care. paul m

JennyRN70

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Re: Holidays and Grief, Stress or other?
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2014, 09:24:00 pm »
So Sorry to hear you don't have you husband for the traditions - it seems this time of year is when it makes the loss more noticeable - my nanny used to be great baker and entertainer - and we would enjoy people coming over to our house - I don't have the ability to cope with putting on a party - I did invite my friend and her two girls for Christmas eve so I hope they do come over.  Don't feel bad about yelling at the kids - I would likely do the same thing if I was tired.