Hello Dragonfly. I'm sorry that such harshness has hit your family. Suicide, even though it may be some one you barely know, is never pleasant. Something like 95% of suicides in North America are due to a mental illness.
I don't know if you know this about me but I spend part of my time teaching a course on how to talk to someone about their possible suicide thoughts.(on a volunteer basis). I had to attend a week of classes with lots of home work to do this. (it's called safeTalk
https://www.livingworks.net/programs/safetalk/ )
One of the things that they taught us first is that we are responsible for our own lives. (as adults) While I can say that this person or that doctor should have helped me more with my bipolar disorder, the fact of the matter is that I am that I am the one ultimately responsible for seeking treatment.
That doesn't mean that if I tried to get professional help and it was bad that someone wasn't responsible, but it does mean that I have to be the one to reach out and at least seek help.
We were also taught that we as amateurs cannot be responsible if someone takes their own life. Talking to someone about suicidal thoughts is not easy and the closer they are to you, the tougher it is.
I've taken a lot of other courses on the subject and the general consensus is that suicide occurs when a person can no longer stand the mental pain that they are in and that many of us (I've tried to suicide twice, so I can use the word us) are in so much pain that we do not realize how much pain we are causing others when we act on our thoughts. In fact just the opposite sometimes. Once I figured that the only way I could ease my families agonies was to end my own life. I knew how much pain I was causing others and I couldn't seem to correct my behaviours any other way then to take my own life.
You are right in wanting to protect your Grandkids. As Buddy Mack sez "keep an eye on them" . Also as they get a bit older have some frank discussions with them about mental illness. Many young people suicide because they A) don't know how to get help , some don't even realize that they can call 911 and get help. B) they suicide because they are afraid of the stigma attached to being treated.
I know the next while will be tough on your family, my thoughts and prayers go with you. Take Care. paul m