What OCD Really Looks Like

[Peace]

This link is excellent. Numbers 11, 14, 17 and 22 are good depictions of what my OCD is like.

https://themighty.com/2017/01/ocd-pictures/

I wrote the following recently because I'm back to seeking treatment and advocating, and I think I may actually be obsessing now about having OCD. I wrote it with the hopes that I may actually be able to find help or find someone to listen. I titled it "This is What my OCD Looks Like." OCD takes on many forms, changes in such a way that one obsession/compulsion goes away only to be replaced by a different one, and is different for everyone.

                                           This is What My OCD Looks Like

Symmetry, orderliness and sorting have caused me to take 5 hours to perform a simple task like taking the garbage out because I “fix” each room I go into.

I re-read and I re-write. I can take 8 hours on a simple email and several days on a simple note.

I trace patterns in lines with either my index finger or my eyes. I’ve traced curtains with pleats, television and computer screens, picture frames, tables, trees, fences, lamp posts. I can’t even go for a walk or watch television to escape this compulsion.

I am terrified I may hurt another person’s feelings.

I avoid the numbers 6 and 13 because they are “bad” numbers, and I count and repeat until I encounter a “good” number.

I will research a simple purchase endlessly.

I seek reassurance and have irritated many by doing so.

I have a strong aversion to any type of change. My agoraphobia is complicated by my OCD in that if I leave home and change takes place I panic.

I have had contamination and scrupulosity relating to religion, and still have scrupulosity, just not as severe as when I was phoning my minister several times a day seeking reassurance I wasn’t sinning.

I do most tasks (cooking, household chores, showering) when I'm alone because if I'm interrupted it can send me into an OCD loop or into crisis.

When my anxiety level is high I can’t tolerate sound and even the slightest sound can cause me to become distressed.

I avoid situations that might trigger my obsessions or compulsions.

My mind rarely stops thinking, and I’m exhausted as a result. I have difficulty sleeping. I will sleep a couple of hours, then wake and perform the tracing compulsion behind closed eyes. Lack of sleep makes OCD worse.

OCD is a severe and debilitating anxiety disorder affecting one adult in 40, making it twice as common as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. OCD can be so debilitating and disabling that the World Health Organisation (WHO) has ranked OCD in the top ten of the most disabling illnesses of any kind in terms of lost earnings and diminished quality of life.

Thanks to everyone for being here and for listening. 

Peace

[paulm]

Hello Peace. That is great article. I have been slowly learning about OCD and I at times have a great deal of difficulty trying to convince people that OCD is more than obsessing about germs or being overly orderly.

 That article will help me to explain to others what OCD really is. 

 In the meantime you have my sympathies on having OCD. It must be tough, especially when so few people (including a lot medically trained people) have no idea what the illness really can mean and how many different ways that OCD can affect your life.  Thx again and Good Luck dealing with your illness. Take Care. paul m

[Peace]

Thank you, Paul, for both your kind words and for your efforts. 

[Stenacron man]

Dear Peace

I am new here but suffer multiple mental illnesses since 1997. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist but am enormously studied since 2004 on the subjects regarding personality disorders, and bipolarity. I only read (scientific literature publications) on subjects that interest me. I have a (DSM)-IV in book form, and a (DSM)-5 on pdf file. The (DSM) is the Textbook (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

This is the book used to properly diagnosis patients that suffer mental illnesses such as (OCD). There is allot involved with coming to a good diagnosis. EXP; body language, typing errors, phrasing, patterns, cohesiveness, visual cues, and what is said (content). I cannot see you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you, and point you in the right possible direction, and yes I do shrink my shrinks and they all enjoy our shrink fun LOL. I will not diagnose you but will try to point you in the right direction.

My first question for you is (Have you been properly assessed with mental health disorders) ? I see you posted (Agoraphobia, & OCD) If you would like to share them here I will try help you understand them and how they overlap, because many mental illnesses overlap, that is why proper diagnosis is difficult and we often have multiple illnesses or a primary with many specifiers.

Quoting you in your post;
   “I trace patterns in lines with either my index finger or my eyes. I’ve traced curtains with pleats, television and computer screens, picture frames, tables, trees, fences, lamp posts. I can’t even go for a walk or watch television to escape this compulsion”.

I am by no means saying you are Autistic, but you may suffer some Autistic features caused by a very weak form of that condition. These specific behaviors are not (OCD) in any shape or form. I am unaware nor can find any other disorders that have this behavioral (pattern searching and trace-marking). I looked right through my DSM-IV and nothing but the Autistic spectrum has this. I would also talk to your GP doctor about this specific behavior. There is a mental disorder that this behavior occurs in called “Asperger Syndrome” which I believe may be part of the Autistic spectrum, and there is medication for that condition.

 I take Diazepam 5 mg in the AM, and 5 mg in the afternoon with all my other med’s. I take great sleeping med called Zopiclone at 7.5 mg

In 2007 I wrote;          “Relax you’ll live longer”

Buddy Mack.     

[Peace]

Hello Stenacron man and welcome 

I have a psychiatrist that I have a great deal of faith in. I've been diagnosed with OCD, agoraphobia, PTSD, and depression. I am confident my diagnosis are accurate.

As far as the tracing goes, I believe it's an OCD compulsion. It went away for a while, only to return when my stress level increased, resulting in anxiety. I have never touched what I trace, I do it from a distance, and more with my eyes than with my finger.

I started this post because I wanted to share the link and in an effort to educate about OCD. There's so  much misconception about it. So many like to throw out terms like "I'm so OCD about this and that" and it's upsetting to have a very serious condition minimized in that manner. I've tried for many years to explain OCD and could never find the right words, and I thought the photo's in the link did a good job of explaining.

Peace

[Stenacron man]

Hi Peace

I am very glad you responded. I can see in what you write and how you write that your conditions can cause you great stress. I have both (OCD) and (OCPD). I am right now crafting a post in office that I will be posting regarding the two conditions. They are similar but very different. One is very controlling and the other is too but isolates you from the world because you are to rigid in your believes that you can't conform to the world that being me (OCPD).

The post I am creating is very descriptive about the conditions from 1910 till  today, and just how many different type there truly are.


Buddy mack.