How is everyone? Missing you all. Would love to hear from everyone.
I'm struggling. Some ceiling work and painting going on in our home to be able to sell it, and it's become quite chaotic. Trying to fight off guilt when my soon to be ex-husband tries to get me to pay for things I don't feel is needed. He just buys, submits the receipts to me, and if I hesitate to pay, manipulates me. He called me a disgusting monster when I separated our bank accounts after stressing too much over watching it drop by $20,000 twice in one year, and having absolutely no say in the spending. He convinced our daughters I'm "cheap", when in actual fact all I want is some money in savings, partially due to both my parents running out of money.
Anyway, change is hard for many, but with OCD being severe it's exceptionally hard. As an example, I wasn't able to go for my walks when I visited my sister because I'd have to turn to the left when I walked out her front door in order to go to the area with the least traffic and noise, when at home I always turn to the right every time I walk. Not being able to turn to the left is an OCD issue. The last time I stayed at my sister's I did go for one walk and turned to the right (I was feeling good that day), and I was very proud of myself. My long way of explaining why the changes to the home to get it ready to sell are affecting my health negatively.
OCD when not managed is extremely debilitating. The proper treatment for OCD, ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is not covered by OHIP, or at least I haven't been able to find OHIP covered treatment. The one psychologist in my city I found who treats OCD is $215 per hour, and not located somewhere I can get to.
Sorry for the book, obviously what I call a "bad OCD day", making it difficult for my mind to turn off.
Looking forward to hearing from everyone else.
