Here are hopefully a few smiles to get everyone started on the summer with a smile. (or a groan with a few of the following)
I broke up with my gym membership last week, we just weren't working out.
Sometimes I wonder why I exist, then I remember that I breath out Carbon Dioxide, which trees need to exist. Hay I have a use after all!
Sometimes I try counting sheep when I can't sleep. Unfortunately having bipolar sometimes mean that I have a little trouble concentrating. I tend to start off fine: 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, I wonder how much a wool sweater costs, maybe I'll look tomorrow when I go shopping, tomorrow is Wednesday, I'll be have way through this miserable week, man this has been a bad week, I wonder why I can't sleep, maybe I'll try counting sheep. (try explaining that to your shrink LOL)
Over the yrs I've learn't that my wife saying " I'm not mad at you" is like the dentist saying "you won't feel a thing".
What did Shakespeare say when he was shopping for toilet paper. " 2 ply or not to ply, that is the question".
I'm just learning how to text. My son hasn't been to dinner for a while so I sent him the following text. When are you coming to dinner, w.t.f. !!! He phoned upset. I didn't understand why until he told me that wtf, doesn't mean Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
Please feel free to add a few good jokes . Take Care. Paul M