Author Topic: afraid of stroke or heart attack - expecting too much of myself  (Read 199 times)

Dragonfly

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Hi everyone,

Unfortunately in the evening of Easter Sunday, April 1, I had a full blown panic attack. My daughter phoned 911 and the paramedics took me to the hospital to have me checked out. I was afraid I was having a stroke or heart attack. My arms and back were sore. I now realize it was from doing too much. Lifting, etc. I am afraid of having a stroke or heart attack because I am an insulin dependent diabetic, have chronic kidney disease and suffer from bipolar mental disorder. I see doctors for all these health problems and have had many tests.

The doctor that saw me at the hospital was very good. He had my heart checked and had an x-ray done of my chest. Everything seemed to check out. I felt bad because my two daughters came to the hospital and my son and partner. I feel I need to be the strong one.

I realize now that I have been trying to do too much and expecting too much of myself. I seem to go in cycles. I am feeling quite well, then start doing too much, then crash. I seem to do this over and over again. Anyone else do that? I forget my limitations.

I have to step back from worrying and doing things for my big kids (3 plus my son's partner) and 3 grandchildren. I have to realize that they can do things on their own. They are very capable at this age.

I am my own worst enemy. I want things done yesterday. I have to take better care of myself or I am not good to anyone and mostly myself. I feel selfish when I don't pitch in. I guess I have to consider my age and my health problems. I can't do what they do. It is very frustrating to not do what I used to do.

I have to be more receptive to change. Things aren't always going to be the way they used to be.

I think I have said enough about me. There are a lot of I's in my post. How is everyone else doing?

Dragonfly

paulm

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Re: afraid of stroke or heart attack - expecting too much of myself
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2018, 11:01:41 PM »
Hello Dragonfly. When you said

 "I am my own worst enemy. I want things done yesterday. I have to take better care of myself or I am not good to anyone and mostly myself. I feel selfish when I don't pitch in. I guess I have to consider my age and my health problems. I can't do what they do. It is very frustrating to not do what I used to do."

 I often feel the exact same way. While I'm slowly getting back on my feet after having cancer treatments last fall, I'm progressing far too slowly to suit me. My other ailments seem to be bothering me now as well, but at least I'm still walking so I guess I should be happy. Take Care. paul m

 

Dragonfly

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Re: afraid of stroke or heart attack - expecting too much of myself
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2018, 03:56:49 PM »
Hi Paul,

I am sorry that you are recuperating from cancer and then on top of it all you broke your wrist. I realize that you also suffer from another number of different health problems.

As you say getting older and having health problems is not easy. Acceptance is difficult.

On a positive note I am soon going on a two week trip with my 2 daughters. I am going to try to hold back and let them do a good majority of the things that need to be done.

Dragonfly