Author Topic: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this  (Read 1241 times)

momfellinglost

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Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« on: January 30, 2018, 09:51:03 AM »
  While most of my life is going well. There is one thing that isn't I have a sibling who has bi-polar and because of how she acted when looking after an estate I found I could keep talking to her. If she could let things go and just move on she is focused on things that didn't happen and this is more than a decade ago. She is used to bullying people to get what she wants but and has sent me messages that are awful but I have ignored them to try and not engage her. So she has now been using social media to try and get at me saying awful things about my adult child, myself  and others. While people have taken them down she has no filter and if she sees people in public will start screaming and yelling at them so I normally go the other way or leave the store to avoid watching her embarrass herself. But I can't keep this up it is effecting my life and while I don't want to have to do it I have told her daughter(we still talk) that if is doesn't stop I will involve the police I don't want to but see no other options as her spouse and children are not able to help and I don't want them to make their lives more difficult. I have talked to her doctor about it and she isn't willing to help. Am I doing the right thing I never want to get the law involved but after more than 10 years dealing with this behavior I just can't take it anymore. Any suggestions would be welcomed even if you want to say that you don't agree with my plan. Thanks

Peace

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Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2018, 10:50:09 AM »
I'm very sorry you have to go through this! You are a very warm, giving person, and do not deserve to be bullied by anyone.

As I was reading your post the very first thought that went through my mind was restraining order, and I still believe that could be the only way, especially if your health is being affected. My only concern with you involving the police is your relationship with people who matter. Don't pay any heed to people who might not see why you're taking this route, if that's the route you choose, they are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. My suggestion is that you let the people who matter, your own family and your sister's family that you want to remain on good terms with, know what your plan is and why you are thinking of seeking the help of the police, before you take the first step. That way they aren't surprised and they fully understand your reasons, that this is affecting your health, prior to police involvement. I'm hoping this could salvage all your relationships with the people who are important in your life, and truthfully they might actually be relieved that you plan to do this.

Just my opinion, please if anyone disagrees with me, I won't be offended at all, I want the very best for momfeelinglost.

momfellinglost

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Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2018, 07:18:24 AM »
Thank you for your input. I really don't want to go any route except to ignore but after more than10 years my sibling just isn't getting the message and I am sure I will wait until she does it again before I act but you are right I can't really win no matter what I do. She isn't good for my health physical or mental so I made the choice to remove her from my immediate life and I don't regret that choice at all ( well I do) no one want to stop talking to family unless they see no other way. But I did end up with a better relationship with my other 4 siblings so there is good that has come out of this mess. Again thank you

paulm

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Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2018, 08:50:14 PM »
Hello Momfeelinglost. Unfortunately I have no good suggestions, but I can undertand how difficult this must be for you. Take Care. paul m