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Messages - momfellinglost

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46
General Discussion / Re: very upset by my granddaughter yelling at me
« on: October 23, 2015, 10:11:15 AM »
 My son is going through something similar. This is the advise I gave him. The kids love both families and no matter what they say they love you. You have to make your home a safe place. Not a place to do what ever or say what ever they want. Disipline is a part of home. When my sons father and I separated years ago I made the policy that no one would be allowed to say anything neg about him. Not because he was a great person but because he was my childs other parent and my child neither choose his parent nor chose for us to divorce. If he ended up being a jerk my son would figure that out on his own but he wouldn't hear it from me.
 They will test you and your son to see if you still love them and if you are going to go away. You don't know what kinds of things they are hearing at their other home and may be having a hard time expressing themselves to either you or your son. Things are changing and I am sure they are scared and angry. Not sure how old they are but your son may need to ask that the kids have some help either alone or with both parents involved. It will get better but it may get worse before it does. Try and create the rules for the house and maybe have a talk with her about how it makes you feel. Make sure you tell her that you love her and that will not change but in the house we don't talk to each other like that.

47
General Discussion / Re: a few laughs(maybe)
« on: June 24, 2015, 02:33:48 PM »
Oh Paul I wish I had your wit but I will think upon this and see what I can come up with love this post hope there are lots of replies it made me smile

48
General Discussion / Re: Toronto Contingent
« on: June 24, 2015, 02:31:51 PM »
I am not sure who is in Toronto but there are quite a few in the surrounding area. I am not any where near there but I hope you will post here often sometimes the board is very active and others kind of quite but people drop in and post often. Welcome

49
General Discussion / Interesting Idea hope they sell lots of clothing
« on: June 03, 2015, 09:16:23 AM »
Seen this on Facebook and thought some might like to read about it. If it changes one persons thought it would be worth it to me.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/fredericton-clothing-line-aims-to-reduce-stigma-of-mental-health-1.3097268

50
Family, Friends, and Supporters / Re: Bipolar II and triggers
« on: June 01, 2015, 10:00:44 PM »
 I too am the mom of a Bi-polar child and yes I can be a trigger and mostly because I am the mom doing mom things. this doesn't mean that you can't  be together or that there isn't a way to learn to be less of (and I don't want to say trigger) but don't have the right word. But as you child goes down the road of learning to cope with their mental illness things will change. The medication that your daughter takes will change the way she sees things. You will learn more about mental illness than you thought you could. I will encourage you to join at the very lest some place like this. The people who are on these boards are so full of info, humor, and caring with out the kinds of fighting you often see on other boards. I come here often my child doesn't it isn't right for him at this stage in his life. He know me and how I feel about taking care of himself both mental and physical side of his life. As parents we want to fix things but with kids as they get older they want  less of it. It can work in fact it can make your life with her better. Communication for me is the key, be ready to listen sometimes with out offering any advise sometimes with out judgement and most of all with out getting too upset (the hardest part) I hope you will keep coming back and posting the general board does get more post and activity.

 Take care

51
General Discussion / Re: Work life remains a hot mess
« on: May 22, 2015, 04:08:13 PM »
I know how hard it is have you thought about applying for CPP? You have paid into it and if I am not mistaken and I am sure some one will say if I am wrong you can work but they restrict how much you can make. If you do apply and they reject your claim they seem to reject most of them the first go around. I know that I have a relative who applied and was rejected twice but appealed twice and then was accepted.

52
General Discussion / Re: getting a cat tomorrow.....my first one
« on: May 22, 2015, 04:01:08 PM »
Sorry I missed being able to see his pic on the website. Hope that now that the two of you have had time to get used to each other he has lost some of his fear about being in his new furever home and I am sure he is pawsavitly thrilled to be living with you. Congrats on getting a new roommate for the next forever. I am sure you will have fun. And remember cats are like kids buy them all the toys in the world and they will play with the box.

53
General Discussion / Re: So Scared and depressed
« on: April 24, 2015, 12:22:49 PM »
Thanks for the replies. Well it is done and while they didn't have any answers yet. And that is a good thing it means there isn't anything that can't be fixed or treated at this point we are waiting for the results of the samples that were taken. It doesn't mean I am no longer worried but it does take the real bad things closer to the edge of the table. Hope it works out ok as I need to soon book flights to go to and see our new grandbaby(to be born this summer) and want to get the best prices.

 Again thanks your guys are the best.

54
General Discussion / Re: Silence in arguments
« on: April 14, 2015, 10:00:44 AM »
 You need to take care of yourself and make a plan if you don't feel safe. You can't make someone else get help for things but you can get help for yourself. You should talk to a doctor or a councillor. The only thing you can do is to encourage her to seek help for issues. Stay safe sending your a hug wish there was words that I could say that would help more.

55
General Discussion / So Scared and depressed
« on: April 13, 2015, 11:35:57 PM »
   My hubby has been sick since before xmas. Everything they have tried hasn't worked, and he is getting sicker by the day. He has gotten in line for the x-ray, ultra sound, blood work, CT scan. Made to feel like the pain is nothing telling us to come to the hospital if it gets worse then asking why did you come. Even one Doctor tell him that if he had taken a couple of Tylenol he might not have needed to come to the hospital. Tell us that there was nothing they could do until these last test are done and unless there is blood they would do nothing but come back if it gets worse. Why you won't do anything. Made me so mad.
   Sometimes I think the internet is a curse as it allows you to look up things(symptoms) and then see all the things that could be wrong. He goes for the next round of test (colonoscopy and endoscope) on Thursday. We hope this will tell us what is wrong and while I want answers so that we can move on to treatment I am also so scared of what they are going to find.
  I don't have a lot of close friends that I can talk to. The person I talk to is my hubby and I don't want him to worry any more than he already is. The thought of having to call my son who lives more than 3000 miles away to give him bad news is also on my mind. He and his wife are expecting their first and our 4th grandchild. The thought that we may not be able to go and see him is on my mind. So given all this it is no wonder that I am depressed
  I have written and deleted this post so many times in the last few months not sure if I should express my fear. I also know I shouldn't worry about what I don't know yet but there are so very few things other than what I am worried about that it could be and it would be worse for them to tell us that they can't find anything wrong with him. It is so hard seeing his stomach bloating up _(adding 4 inches to his waistline) and the pain that he is in but still going to work everyday not wanting to use up his sick time just in case.
  Hope know one minds me posting this but I had to tell someone how I feel

56
General Discussion / Re: Children of a parent with mental illness
« on: April 05, 2015, 01:21:03 AM »
I have read an started to reply to your post many times only to stop. I was trying to find the right words for what I wanted to say. I too grew up with a parent with a mental illness along with a sibling. For me it was awful. Not because they were awful but because they were untreated, that can change how a parent does the job of raising children. Those who work to deal with their illness makes a difference. It can teach them that trying to deal with even if we aren't good at it counts. It teaches them tolerance, along with compassion for those who chose not to deal with it. As well as how to treat others no matter what the problem is. So I think you have given your children tools that many don't get from their parents. We aren't perfect but then who is.  It didn't change the fact that I loved my parent but that given the age and the time they grew up made it impossible for them to admit they had a problem that could be helped by a doctor. One got treatment and changed the relationship with their children for the better it helped to heal the wounds that were there before. Words can hurt and they can heal but the need for words is forever and until they have children they don't understand the love and the guilt that parents often have no matter if they have a mental illness or not. your post is a reminder to keep the lines of talk open no matter how old they are.

57
General Discussion / Re: I am freaking out
« on: March 05, 2015, 10:39:46 PM »
Since most bulbs are put in at the same time and new type bulbs have a defined life span it would make sense that more than one would go out at the same time

58
General Discussion / Re: what is normal
« on: March 04, 2015, 08:26:42 PM »
I am sure if ask most people what normal means bet they couldn't tell you. When you ask them what crazy is bet they have definate ideas of what that is. I have know so called normal people that i can only describe as ,and excuse the wording batsh*t crazy. And those who are crazy and more normal than most. They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. So if we are crazy we are in some real good company. They are a lot of real smart caring kind people on this site who are called crazy and can teach the world a thing or two about how to treat people.

59
I think he is. Letting you know that he will be there always. We know very little about the afterlife. My son used to talk about the man who came and sat with him when he was little. Too little to talk point a picture of his grandfather who passed away 9 months before hewas born. He told stories that he had no way of knowing.

60
 Even if that light seems so far away. I know I have talked about the problems my son has been having with his kids. Well things have moved forward and he is seeing them despite a person who has been working actively behind the scenes to not allow this to happen. I have been working with him in getting his place together so that they can come there to see him. His marriage unfortunately has been lost and appears that it will not be repaired. Once again to other people using things that should never be used. I do have a problem with them letting someone who has such anger against him and because I am his mother me as well(even though this person doesn't even know me) then lying about it being ok with those who are in charge. But we will let this go for now. They are on notice that we know about it and won't allow it to happen. But the one thing that is clear is that his kids love him miss him and want to be with him and they know that as well.
 The other happy but sad new is that we are having a new grand child in the new year. My youngest and his wife are expecting. This is happy news but being more than a thousand miles away when you don't have a lot of money to fly there makes it sad cause i don't know when we be able to go and see the new baby. Flights are more than 1500 for two of us and because of my hubby s allergies to cats means we also have to rent a hotel room will make it so hard to afford it. But I will keep hoping that we can some how find the money to get there.  I never thought my kids would be so far away from home it has been almost 3 years since we have seen him, and I miss him so much it hurts. I seem to cry just thinking about him being so far with no one other than his in laws to talk to. I know they are good people and they love him but it must be so hard on him as well. I can tell by some of the things his says that he is missing us.
 Sometimes it feels like life is so unfair and just plain mean to people. here is hoping that the next year will be so much better.

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