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Messages - momfellinglost

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16
General Discussion / Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« on: January 30, 2018, 09:51:03 AM »
  While most of my life is going well. There is one thing that isn't I have a sibling who has bi-polar and because of how she acted when looking after an estate I found I could keep talking to her. If she could let things go and just move on she is focused on things that didn't happen and this is more than a decade ago. She is used to bullying people to get what she wants but and has sent me messages that are awful but I have ignored them to try and not engage her. So she has now been using social media to try and get at me saying awful things about my adult child, myself  and others. While people have taken them down she has no filter and if she sees people in public will start screaming and yelling at them so I normally go the other way or leave the store to avoid watching her embarrass herself. But I can't keep this up it is effecting my life and while I don't want to have to do it I have told her daughter(we still talk) that if is doesn't stop I will involve the police I don't want to but see no other options as her spouse and children are not able to help and I don't want them to make their lives more difficult. I have talked to her doctor about it and she isn't willing to help. Am I doing the right thing I never want to get the law involved but after more than 10 years dealing with this behavior I just can't take it anymore. Any suggestions would be welcomed even if you want to say that you don't agree with my plan. Thanks

17
General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« on: January 30, 2018, 09:40:43 AM »
  How very kind of you to ask about other and how they are doing. We have a lot of really great people here. I have taken up beekeeping and that is my new obsession learn and hoping my hives get through the cold winter. So far so good but they can turn at a moments notice. I find watching them in the warm weather so relaxing and do it often when I feel stress. My dogs also help me when things are getting out of control in my world they don't comment only cuddle with me. There are stress not in my household but with people I care about and support. Winter is not my fav time I don't like the cold at all. But spring I hope will be here before I know it

18
General Discussion / Re: Activity
« on: November 24, 2017, 10:59:19 AM »
I hope you post this is a very supportive place respectful and it will at times make you laugh and smile. There are a great bunch of people here. There is a lot of knowledge and help. And we can always use more in the group. It helped me so much over the years just knowing I have a safe place to vent is comforting

19
   I too hope he reaches out for help. Sometimes age changes views and I know my son as he ages sees things much differently. He is much more open to reaching out. Seeing how it is good to get a view of someone who has as they say no dog in the fight. When he was younger he thought he could fix problems himself. Having a partner who is supportive is important. I wish him well and try not to worry too much about the things you can't control. As I age I have adopted this view. I can tell him what I think but as an adult I can't make him accept my view as it should be. I sometimes have to resist saying I told you so as well. I in my heart know this isnt' helpful to him.

20
 I understand your fears. As a mom, daughter and sibling of someone who has mental illness I can relate. Have lived with treated and untreated mental illness that runs through my family we do tend to watch for the signs. I hope that you can have the difficult talk with your son about talking to a doctor. My son is Bi-polar 2 and know how important his meds are. He doesn't like the way he is with out them. It was a fight for a diganois but he is stable has two kids and is not perfect but he is a great adult. Life isn't always fair but doctors can be a life line. Try not to worry to much we can advise give info but not force.

21
General Discussion / Re: welcome to anyone that wants to post here
« on: September 16, 2017, 12:17:11 PM »
 I agree with the all the post this group could give lessons on acceptance and tolerance. I know sometimes how scary it can be to post to forums and it can take a while to make the move. And even if you are just a support person I hope you will post ask the question there is a wealth of not only knowledge but understanding here

22
General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« on: August 08, 2017, 04:58:05 PM »
 I am having a busy summer despite the weather being up and down. Started a new hobby Beekeeping. The bees don't care how I feel and watching them work is calming. It does take more work than I thought it would but the reward at the end is very sweet. My garden is not doing as well as it could with the weather.  Joined a group on FB that I thought was a good fit for things that I was objecting too- the price of power but it hasn't worked out the way I had hoped and now I need to figure out what to do not only with my objections but my time.

23
General Discussion / Re: Did I do the right thing
« on: January 12, 2017, 11:04:21 AM »
 My thinking was that if this child has a mental illness he doesn't belong in a jail even a kiddy jail. That this women is at the end of her rope and I am sure this child is as well. I felt bad for her and the comments about she must be such a bad parent when you kid is doing these kinds of things. And most parents won't ever know how it feels. I know she has shed tears and tried to figure out what she has done wrong. No need for anyone else to beat her up with words and judgement. And I thought that maybe she could read and hopefully ask people here about meds and how they have changed their lives for the good and bad. That meds are not your enemy. Courts give no slack for those with a mental illness or rarely do they. I hope that maybe she is one of the people who is reading but maybe not posting on this site. Meds can make a huge difference to peoples lives. I also know that there is so much on line about the evils of meds.

24
 I did that for a long time too. I read and wondered. Would I be welcome to post would my posts be ignored. People even on line tend to develop friendships as that can be scary for someone who is or feels all alone. I finally posted and found out that all the fears were unfounded. But remember when people post they do check to see not only if people reply but also how many people read them. Sometimes we just can't help it. The people in forum could teach a lot of people how to act how to not judge

25
General Discussion / Re: Carrie Fisher
« on: January 11, 2017, 11:35:31 AM »
I know I seen a rumor that the director wanted her to lose weight and people are wondering if it contributed to her death. My response was we have no idea what helped to cause it. But that we should allow her family to grieve in peace, celebrate her life and let her rest in peace.  She will be missed by a lot of people

26
General Discussion / Did I do the right thing
« on: January 11, 2017, 11:32:37 AM »
   I came across an newspaper article in my local paper. It was about a young boy who is out of control and has been charged not once but twice. In the comments so many people of course blamed bad parenting. I of course didn't and I know families read those comments. A family member expressed that the parent had tried to get help and she also expressed that they didn't want the child medicated. I didn't question that choice. I told her to come here and talk to some of the people here. About the goods and the bads of meds. About how they have made their lives better or worse. In my humble opinion a lot of parent as so scared of meds thinking they are just going to give the kid so much they will be a zombie. But on the other hand I do know that it isn't the way it really works.
   Do you think that was the right thing to do. I know the parent is at the end of their rope and I know that it is hard to get those services. But if the child has an illness then it needs to be dealt with. I  know the laws have changed and I also know people that if the laws were the same years ago they would charge them.  I also know good parent have kids that are not willing to comply with the norm. It is so easy to lay blame and most parents will never know the pain. Maybe it is because I know that pain I am willing to say it. I am not saying I was a perfect parent but I was a good parent and I know as I grow older my views change and I see the things that really don't matter and the ones that do and see people ignore.

27
General Discussion / Re: Christmas Preparations
« on: December 22, 2016, 07:35:31 AM »
I am no where near ready for xmas. I do have some baking done. Have to take my son shopping so he can get his kids a gift. But as the way my life goes they sent all but less than 60 dollars of his cheque to hydro, even though he doesn't owe money they are working to fix it but you know how government work. So that is causing him a great amount of stress and making hash of the well order schedule that I had planned to get my own stuff done. But it is about spending time with family and we aren't really into gifts no pressure to find the perfect gift. You pick and I buy everyone wins. Missing my oldest son again for xmas hoping someday we will spend another xmas together as a whole family. But this year I have decided I won't let anyone throw water on my xmas my hubby is home for 10 days and that is a good thing.
 Congrats Peace I know how hard it can be for you to do somethings.
Hope everyone has a great holiday how ever you choose to spend the season.

28
General Discussion / Re: Looking for advice
« on: September 19, 2016, 04:46:27 PM »
 Thanks for the help. He has reached out to victims services. He has decided that he will do what he feels like in the daytime hours but feels that going out at night makes it worse unless he is in a car. Seems sensible to me. I will keep doing what I am doing and let him direct me to what he needs from us

29
General Discussion / Re: Check In
« on: September 12, 2016, 02:52:49 PM »
 Was doing not bad until Sat my garden isn't giving me as much as I would like but it is something. Struggling with hydro prices to get everything canned. My son was looking to have more time with his kids and I am very proud of the way he has dealt with things in his life. He has shown them that he is not only stable but a great parent. Then Sat he went out and ask that a neighbour turn down music as it was waking up his kids and got attacked by an uninvited guest with a baseball bat in the head. I was and am worried about the damage he is having trouble seeing and suffering panic attacks. Hope they get this guy in jail very soon.  Missing my other grandson who lives more than 2000 miles away they grow so fast and change so much is such a short time. Hope the weather holds for my garden with out any more tornados in my area. Just reg rain please and I should get the most of my little patch.

30
General Discussion / Looking for advice
« on: September 12, 2016, 02:44:50 PM »
 Hi haven't been here in a while and things have been going well. My son has been doing real well and showing those in their life just how stable he is. That ended on the weekend (him doing well). He is still stable but got attacked by a stranger who beat him in the head with a baseball bat. They haven't caught the guy yet but know who he is. My son is experiencing some problems worrying about the guy coming back. Not sleeping panic attacks. I am doing what I can but am not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing to help him. I know he won't get over it anytime soon but people think because he is a big guy some how that makes a difference to how he feels. Not sure if asking him to come to my house for a while would help or make him worry about his place and what they might do to it. So any help that anyone can give to me what works for you when you have a panic attack what can  make it worse? I know this wasn't his fault and he has some real good people who live around him who are also checking up on him. Just trying to not make it worse for him. Want him to feel as safe as he can given what happened to him. These are some real nasty people

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