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Messages - momfellinglost

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General Discussion / Struggling to explain
« on: September 16, 2019, 04:37:20 PM »
 I live near a community that last week seen a tragedy recently. The young man who committed a horrible crime it appears suffered from mental illness and it appears that even though he tried to get help was turned away. My struggle isn't about what he did but the thinking being put out there that mental illness is an excuse. People seem to believe that "fixing" mental illness is simple go to doc you get a pill and you are good to go. Still many don't believe it is valid at all. While most with mental illness would be more likely to be victims than to commit a violent crime. But sad fact is many come into conflict with the law and while it isn't an excuse it is a factor. I always try to let people know that just because he did this it isn't common and that many living with mental illness are productive members of the cities we live in. I want people to be able to say if they choose that they have a mental illness and not be afraid that people will treat them badly(it may just be a goal). Many time I just don't say much about it not because I don't want to but because of the hate that is spewed by many. And it makes me sad that there are many who could use support from those around them that wont because of the people who want to vilify mental illness, and it worries me that it might just make someone who wants help not to seek it because of the nastiness they might see on line. Any thoughts or how do you deal with people that you might not know who spew this kind of hate. I know saying nothing is an option but I am of the thought that mental illness needs to be brought into the light of everyday people that it is a complicated illness and that every human deserves the best treatment available and at the fastest timeline wait lists are not acceptable.

General Discussion / Re: Ever had b bugs in your place?
« on: August 03, 2019, 10:07:41 AM »
  Hi Peter
   Sorry you are going through this again. From what I know of the little bugs you are have a re-infestation most likely that they didn't do one apt or someone in the building has someone who is visiting bringing them in or it could be as simple as someone buying an item from someone who had them in their place. They can go dormant for around 18 months if no "food" is at hand. They travel as well and apt building are like a highway pipes that go through rooms wires etc. They are drawn by the air you exhaile. Hope you can get the mangament to fix it quickly. Good luck

General Discussion / new cap on services
« on: February 08, 2019, 02:41:06 PM »
 The Ontario Gov is going to pass rules that people are allowed only 24 hours of psychotherapy per year. I don't think this is going to work out well for anyone. I hate being political but we need to speak out about this and speak for some who can't speak out for themselves

General Discussion / Re: Getting 2 hearing aids...
« on: February 05, 2019, 01:09:44 PM »
 Hope you can afford them. They can be life changing. I grew up with a parent who was hard of hearing and refused to do anything about it as far as hearing aids went. He did however read lips but that left people who were not directly in front of him thinking he was ignoring him. He was a senior when he finally got them and a whole new world opened up for him. The sounds that he had never heard in more than 50 years was amazing. I remember when he asked about a noise he could hear outside and asked what it was, took a bit but it was the russle of the leaves in the fall. And my hubby recently needed to get hearing aides he suffers from tinnitus and often times couldn't hear what colleges at meetings were saying it has made his life much easier to function in his work world. and at home too. He often asked me to repeat thing or ask if what he heard was what I said and often it wasn't what I said. But he often didn't ask at work so makes me wonder how many times what he thought he heard wasn't what was said. Good luck with the new aids and happy hearing

General Discussion / Re: hope to see a psychiatrist...
« on: January 09, 2019, 02:03:12 PM »
 I often procrastinate as well. For me it is that I over think the task and come up with more than one way to do it, and then ponder the choice over and over worried that I will make the wrong choice. My stove blew up NY day I need to choose a new stove but as normal I can't decide which one to choose do I want to spend the extra money installing gas line so that I don't have to worry about the price of power when I cook during the day? Is the model I thought I want the right one or should I spend a little more to get one with more features. I go round and round and 10 days later I still have no new stove(although hubby fixed it so I could use the burners) but no oven. Didn't think I used the oven that much until I didn't have one lol. Getting help these things is a good thing. Glad you didn't have to wait too long either. Good luck on your new journey

General Discussion / Merry Xmas to all
« on: December 23, 2018, 12:06:10 AM »
 I often just lurk on this site. But I would like everyone to know that having this safe space with some of the best kinds of people in this world is a comfort to me. We are not perfect but no one is. This site is filled with kind non-judgmental people. The kindness and help offered here could teach the world a few things. So how ever you celebrate the season may it bring you joy and comfort. And may the new year bring light and happiness into your life. And know that having each and everyone one of you here to lend an ear in times of need is a great thing you do and I know it has made a difference in my life and sure it has in others as well.

  I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept a virtual hug from me. It can be harder when it is unexpected. Take your time dealing with your grief and know there is no limit to the time for dealing with it. May your memories help you to cope. Take care of yourself

General Discussion / Re: Ever had b bugs in your place?
« on: July 19, 2018, 09:04:49 AM »
 Oh and the other place they like to hang out is ceilings so look up the will drop on people they are attracted to the carbon you exhale

General Discussion / Re: Ever had b bugs in your place?
« on: July 19, 2018, 09:03:28 AM »
 The places you want to look is the seems on your bed you may not see the bugs if there are not many now but you will(or should ) see evidence that they have been there. They poop a lot and leave little poops small spots everywhere. They don't just get in your bed they get in baseboards and cracks. And you could have them and caught the invasion early. Now I am not saying you do have them but they are movers and apt buildings provide a lot the little bug highways for them to move around pipes and electrical wiring. Wonder if any of the companies or the one who did the other apt would do a free inspection on your place. Worth a try

General Discussion / Re: having a bit of a tough time right now
« on: June 22, 2018, 09:43:25 AM »
      We always grieve those we loose and special dates are the hardest to deal with. It should be about you. While others may not always understand your feelings after loving someone for so many years and they are not just a by-stander in your life they are part of you.
       When I lost my mom on mothers day 18 years ago(it feels like yesterday) I couldn't imagine how much I would miss her and for many years would reach for the  phone to just talk to her. So you are not the alone in still missing those that we love. Talking about them is a sure way to keep them in your world my kids often share stories of their grandparents and it makes me laugh and know how much of an impact they made on their lives.
   Take care and know you are not alone in your feelings. I always say tell those you love how proud and how much you love them now. What I wouldn't give for just one more talk with mine.  Hugs to you and yours

      Sorry to hear about your brother and I hope he is doing ok. Make sure you tell your doctor about it as well, they often pay more attention when there is a family member who has gotten a certain kind of cancer. Hugs to you and your family.

General Discussion / Re: Worried about getting dementia......
« on: June 22, 2018, 09:31:14 AM »
  I think that now it has been mentioned you are more aware of the times when you forget things. We all have them I used to remember names of people when I met them now if I don't write there name down I can't remember them two min later. Go into a room and can't remember why I went there. It can be scary to worry about such things. My father suffered from it but functioned on his own until his death. There are new and emerging meds as well they can to so much for people. But I think you are just focused on the things you get wrong. Being home all day I not only forget what day it is but sometimes the month too. Not going out to work can muddle those things. But doing any tests will help to give you peace of mind and even if they find something you can get ahead of it with meds and other things. Try not to worry too much.

 Wondering how people feel about the promises by those running for office on the funding for mental health? Are there questions that you think we should ask when or if we have contact with them?
 I personally don't think they will put the funding where it is really needed. I believe that many people think "fixing" those with mental illnesses is easy quick and it just requires people to go to their doctors and get the "pill" for their mental illness. I find many don't understand that just because people may look Ok on the outside that working or not being able to work is a cop out. I also find so many who think depression is also one of those things that you just need to pull up your boot straps and do it. Wait times are clearly an issue and not just for young people. There isn't a time line for helping somone who needs treatment but they clearly think their is. I want to put some hard question to those running for office and a promise that they won't leave people and their families to fend for themselves in getting help. Thoughts

General Discussion / Re: Getting help for spouse
« on: February 06, 2018, 11:33:16 AM »
 I wish I had some suggestions to help you find a solution. Make sure you take care of you too. Seeking help for what is happening at home and knowing that it isn't your fault. If you husband has a mental illness talking to your doctor about what is going on could help. It can be hard to admit how you are feeling on his part. He needs to know that there is help if it is a mental illness and he didn't do anything to cause it. Drinking can be used to mask how they are feeling. And I hope that you can find a way to work through this with or with out him living in your home. I hope you will keep coming here and posting this is a very safe place and is filled with some real good people who will help with information.

General Discussion / Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« on: January 31, 2018, 07:18:24 AM »
Thank you for your input. I really don't want to go any route except to ignore but after more than10 years my sibling just isn't getting the message and I am sure I will wait until she does it again before I act but you are right I can't really win no matter what I do. She isn't good for my health physical or mental so I made the choice to remove her from my immediate life and I don't regret that choice at all ( well I do) no one want to stop talking to family unless they see no other way. But I did end up with a better relationship with my other 4 siblings so there is good that has come out of this mess. Again thank you

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