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Topics - momfellinglost

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General Discussion / Struggling to explain
« on: September 16, 2019, 04:37:20 PM »
 I live near a community that last week seen a tragedy recently. The young man who committed a horrible crime it appears suffered from mental illness and it appears that even though he tried to get help was turned away. My struggle isn't about what he did but the thinking being put out there that mental illness is an excuse. People seem to believe that "fixing" mental illness is simple go to doc you get a pill and you are good to go. Still many don't believe it is valid at all. While most with mental illness would be more likely to be victims than to commit a violent crime. But sad fact is many come into conflict with the law and while it isn't an excuse it is a factor. I always try to let people know that just because he did this it isn't common and that many living with mental illness are productive members of the cities we live in. I want people to be able to say if they choose that they have a mental illness and not be afraid that people will treat them badly(it may just be a goal). Many time I just don't say much about it not because I don't want to but because of the hate that is spewed by many. And it makes me sad that there are many who could use support from those around them that wont because of the people who want to vilify mental illness, and it worries me that it might just make someone who wants help not to seek it because of the nastiness they might see on line. Any thoughts or how do you deal with people that you might not know who spew this kind of hate. I know saying nothing is an option but I am of the thought that mental illness needs to be brought into the light of everyday people that it is a complicated illness and that every human deserves the best treatment available and at the fastest timeline wait lists are not acceptable.

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General Discussion / new cap on services
« on: February 08, 2019, 02:41:06 PM »
 The Ontario Gov is going to pass rules that people are allowed only 24 hours of psychotherapy per year. I don't think this is going to work out well for anyone. I hate being political but we need to speak out about this and speak for some who can't speak out for themselves

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General Discussion / Merry Xmas to all
« on: December 23, 2018, 12:06:10 AM »
 I often just lurk on this site. But I would like everyone to know that having this safe space with some of the best kinds of people in this world is a comfort to me. We are not perfect but no one is. This site is filled with kind non-judgmental people. The kindness and help offered here could teach the world a few things. So how ever you celebrate the season may it bring you joy and comfort. And may the new year bring light and happiness into your life. And know that having each and everyone one of you here to lend an ear in times of need is a great thing you do and I know it has made a difference in my life and sure it has in others as well.

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 Wondering how people feel about the promises by those running for office on the funding for mental health? Are there questions that you think we should ask when or if we have contact with them?
 I personally don't think they will put the funding where it is really needed. I believe that many people think "fixing" those with mental illnesses is easy quick and it just requires people to go to their doctors and get the "pill" for their mental illness. I find many don't understand that just because people may look Ok on the outside that working or not being able to work is a cop out. I also find so many who think depression is also one of those things that you just need to pull up your boot straps and do it. Wait times are clearly an issue and not just for young people. There isn't a time line for helping somone who needs treatment but they clearly think their is. I want to put some hard question to those running for office and a promise that they won't leave people and their families to fend for themselves in getting help. Thoughts

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General Discussion / Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« on: January 30, 2018, 09:51:03 AM »
  While most of my life is going well. There is one thing that isn't I have a sibling who has bi-polar and because of how she acted when looking after an estate I found I could keep talking to her. If she could let things go and just move on she is focused on things that didn't happen and this is more than a decade ago. She is used to bullying people to get what she wants but and has sent me messages that are awful but I have ignored them to try and not engage her. So she has now been using social media to try and get at me saying awful things about my adult child, myself  and others. While people have taken them down she has no filter and if she sees people in public will start screaming and yelling at them so I normally go the other way or leave the store to avoid watching her embarrass herself. But I can't keep this up it is effecting my life and while I don't want to have to do it I have told her daughter(we still talk) that if is doesn't stop I will involve the police I don't want to but see no other options as her spouse and children are not able to help and I don't want them to make their lives more difficult. I have talked to her doctor about it and she isn't willing to help. Am I doing the right thing I never want to get the law involved but after more than 10 years dealing with this behavior I just can't take it anymore. Any suggestions would be welcomed even if you want to say that you don't agree with my plan. Thanks

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General Discussion / Did I do the right thing
« on: January 11, 2017, 11:32:37 AM »
   I came across an newspaper article in my local paper. It was about a young boy who is out of control and has been charged not once but twice. In the comments so many people of course blamed bad parenting. I of course didn't and I know families read those comments. A family member expressed that the parent had tried to get help and she also expressed that they didn't want the child medicated. I didn't question that choice. I told her to come here and talk to some of the people here. About the goods and the bads of meds. About how they have made their lives better or worse. In my humble opinion a lot of parent as so scared of meds thinking they are just going to give the kid so much they will be a zombie. But on the other hand I do know that it isn't the way it really works.
   Do you think that was the right thing to do. I know the parent is at the end of their rope and I know that it is hard to get those services. But if the child has an illness then it needs to be dealt with. I  know the laws have changed and I also know people that if the laws were the same years ago they would charge them.  I also know good parent have kids that are not willing to comply with the norm. It is so easy to lay blame and most parents will never know the pain. Maybe it is because I know that pain I am willing to say it. I am not saying I was a perfect parent but I was a good parent and I know as I grow older my views change and I see the things that really don't matter and the ones that do and see people ignore.

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General Discussion / Looking for advice
« on: September 12, 2016, 02:44:50 PM »
 Hi haven't been here in a while and things have been going well. My son has been doing real well and showing those in their life just how stable he is. That ended on the weekend (him doing well). He is still stable but got attacked by a stranger who beat him in the head with a baseball bat. They haven't caught the guy yet but know who he is. My son is experiencing some problems worrying about the guy coming back. Not sleeping panic attacks. I am doing what I can but am not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing to help him. I know he won't get over it anytime soon but people think because he is a big guy some how that makes a difference to how he feels. Not sure if asking him to come to my house for a while would help or make him worry about his place and what they might do to it. So any help that anyone can give to me what works for you when you have a panic attack what can  make it worse? I know this wasn't his fault and he has some real good people who live around him who are also checking up on him. Just trying to not make it worse for him. Want him to feel as safe as he can given what happened to him. These are some real nasty people

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General Discussion / has any one else heard about a shortage
« on: April 22, 2016, 12:14:51 PM »
 My son who takes a large dose of serquil(sorry I know it isn't spelled right) and that he will need to change his meds. He is worried as it has always worked well for him. He is also worried about the switch and how it may effect his well being. Any one who can give me some tips and things to watch for. his family doc it great and easy to get into to see if he has problems but like all things sometimes the people who are effected are often the last to see how their meds are working or not. Thanks

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General Discussion / Interesting Idea hope they sell lots of clothing
« on: June 03, 2015, 09:16:23 AM »
Seen this on Facebook and thought some might like to read about it. If it changes one persons thought it would be worth it to me.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/fredericton-clothing-line-aims-to-reduce-stigma-of-mental-health-1.3097268

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General Discussion / So Scared and depressed
« on: April 13, 2015, 11:35:57 PM »
   My hubby has been sick since before xmas. Everything they have tried hasn't worked, and he is getting sicker by the day. He has gotten in line for the x-ray, ultra sound, blood work, CT scan. Made to feel like the pain is nothing telling us to come to the hospital if it gets worse then asking why did you come. Even one Doctor tell him that if he had taken a couple of Tylenol he might not have needed to come to the hospital. Tell us that there was nothing they could do until these last test are done and unless there is blood they would do nothing but come back if it gets worse. Why you won't do anything. Made me so mad.
   Sometimes I think the internet is a curse as it allows you to look up things(symptoms) and then see all the things that could be wrong. He goes for the next round of test (colonoscopy and endoscope) on Thursday. We hope this will tell us what is wrong and while I want answers so that we can move on to treatment I am also so scared of what they are going to find.
  I don't have a lot of close friends that I can talk to. The person I talk to is my hubby and I don't want him to worry any more than he already is. The thought of having to call my son who lives more than 3000 miles away to give him bad news is also on my mind. He and his wife are expecting their first and our 4th grandchild. The thought that we may not be able to go and see him is on my mind. So given all this it is no wonder that I am depressed
  I have written and deleted this post so many times in the last few months not sure if I should express my fear. I also know I shouldn't worry about what I don't know yet but there are so very few things other than what I am worried about that it could be and it would be worse for them to tell us that they can't find anything wrong with him. It is so hard seeing his stomach bloating up _(adding 4 inches to his waistline) and the pain that he is in but still going to work everyday not wanting to use up his sick time just in case.
  Hope know one minds me posting this but I had to tell someone how I feel

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 Even if that light seems so far away. I know I have talked about the problems my son has been having with his kids. Well things have moved forward and he is seeing them despite a person who has been working actively behind the scenes to not allow this to happen. I have been working with him in getting his place together so that they can come there to see him. His marriage unfortunately has been lost and appears that it will not be repaired. Once again to other people using things that should never be used. I do have a problem with them letting someone who has such anger against him and because I am his mother me as well(even though this person doesn't even know me) then lying about it being ok with those who are in charge. But we will let this go for now. They are on notice that we know about it and won't allow it to happen. But the one thing that is clear is that his kids love him miss him and want to be with him and they know that as well.
 The other happy but sad new is that we are having a new grand child in the new year. My youngest and his wife are expecting. This is happy news but being more than a thousand miles away when you don't have a lot of money to fly there makes it sad cause i don't know when we be able to go and see the new baby. Flights are more than 1500 for two of us and because of my hubby s allergies to cats means we also have to rent a hotel room will make it so hard to afford it. But I will keep hoping that we can some how find the money to get there.  I never thought my kids would be so far away from home it has been almost 3 years since we have seen him, and I miss him so much it hurts. I seem to cry just thinking about him being so far with no one other than his in laws to talk to. I know they are good people and they love him but it must be so hard on him as well. I can tell by some of the things his says that he is missing us.
 Sometimes it feels like life is so unfair and just plain mean to people. here is hoping that the next year will be so much better.

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