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Topics - Dragonfly

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General Discussion / How is everyone doing
« on: January 25, 2018, 07:41:50 PM »
Hi everyone,

Just wondering how everyone is doing. On the whole I am doing well. I still have my ups and downs. I am not complaining though.

I think everyone that is a mother or father worries about their children. Today my son went to the hospital. He was in real pain. The doctors found out he has a large kidney stone. He is a strong man though. So glad that my son has a girlfriend who was with him and really cares about him. He and his ex were separated a few years ago.

I went for the first time to a group from MDAO that does crafts. There were maybe about 10 of us and I sat beside an older gentleman. His mind was very sharp and I really enjoyed his humor. We talked more than we did crafts. It was very enjoyable.  I was very tired at the end of it. When I feel up to it I will probably go again. It is on every wednesday morning. I have a support worker who drives me. I don't like driving in my busy city. My concentration is not good.

Please feel free to post. We are a caring, non-judgemental group. Everyone's experiences are valuable. We can learn from each other. I have had great support on this forum and have learned a lot from others. This has greatly helped me.


General Discussion / sponser you
« on: October 18, 2017, 08:54:54 PM »
Hi Paul,
I would like to sponser you for the fundraiser. I receive the email. When I click on sponser me it comes up page cannot be displayed. I don't know what is going wrong.

General Discussion / blood test results as related to health problems
« on: September 17, 2017, 11:27:43 AM »
Hi everyone,

This post has to do with two posts on the forum which have been addressed previously.

I went over my blood test results that I obtained from the lab that my kidney specialist ordered for me due to my chronic kidney disease.

These results made so much more sense to me. This is due to the fact that I received the spiral books on living with reduced kidney function and living with kidney failure. These explain the different functions in the body to look for when you have this disease. Once I looked at the results of the blood test I could see the normal results of a certain test and also see where my results were low or high. Some of these functions have already been described by my kidney specialist which has also helped greatly.

I hope I am making sense. Thanks again Paul for the websites on learning more about the kidneys and diseases. For me it always helps

when I know more about what is going on with my health. I don't always like the results but at least I know generally what is going on. Believe me I certainly don't know everything. I hope I am not sounding conceited.


General Discussion / information for people with chronic kidney disease
« on: September 17, 2017, 11:11:08 AM »
Hi everyone,
I don't know if anyone is suffering from chronic kidney disease. I don't know if this is relevant to this forum. I believe I developed chronic kidney disease due to the use of lithium for 30 years. (I am now off of it) This may not be true for other people who are on lithium. I am also an insulin dependent diabetic type II which has a great effect on the kidneys.

Thank you Paul for the websites that you provided for information on chronic kidney disease. I contacted the kidney foundation and they sent me two excellent spiral bound books - one living with reduced kidney function and two living with kidney failure. The foundation also mentioned a forum that I could join. I have joined. There is also a website for eating right for the kidneys.  This information has been very helpful to me.


General Discussion / results of blood test
« on: September 08, 2017, 11:16:25 AM »
Hi everyone,
  I just had a blood test for my kidney and diabetes specialists The girl at the lab advised me that I could get my results. So I signed up and received my results. Most of it was greek to me. Has anyone else done this before? Is it really worth doing? I had six vials taken. The results show the number of the result for that particular test and showed what the number should be. Some of the tests were fine.

Any thoughts on this?


General Discussion / welcome to anyone that wants to post here
« on: August 30, 2017, 11:22:45 AM »
We welcome anyone that wants to post here. We are a supportive group. We are very caring, non-judgemental. I have had a lot of help here and it has been a pleasure to communicate here with people. I have developed friends here.

If you have thoughts and information to offer it also helps us greatly. We are non-threatning and keep things confidential.

Please post. We would all be happy if you did.


Hi everyone.

How is everyone doing. Are you and your wife all packed up for the move. Are you going to be living in the same vicinity as to where you have lived.

How is it going with you Peace, Stenacron man and Peter.

Sorry if I have left anyone out.


General Discussion / having very bad dreams and fluctuating sugar levels
« on: August 24, 2017, 07:42:56 PM »
My kidney specialist has told me to watch that my sugar levels do not go down too far. I am on insulin and my kidneys are not functioning well.
I think this fluctuation in sugar levels are affecting my moods. Maybe this is creating my bad dreams. I am going to see my kidney specialist this month. So will discuss these symptoms with him. Also will be seeing my diabetic specialist and pdoc next month.
Does anyone here with diabetes experience mood changes?

I am probably focusing too much on myself lately. Please bear with me. (I can't seem to spell these days)


As some of you know I suffer from bipolar II. I have had this illness since about 12 years old (onset of puberty). I am now 66 years old.

I hoped that this mental illness would not manifest itself in one of my children. I have 3. Two daughters with my son in the middle.

I have suspected that my son is most like me. He is separated from his wife. She wanted the separation. She was cheating on him. Now he is in a relationship with another woman who has a daughter. My son has two kids. His ex is a two faced b*t**h who only cares about herself. Even puts herself before the kids most times. Narcisstic.

My son has always had his ups and downs. It is becoming more evident as he is going through some very traumatic situations. His girlfriend has not had a very easy childhood. She has been single with her daughter for a very long time. My son has had a very hard time showing his feelings to her. My son runs to me and talks to me when things are not going well in his relationship. I have told him he has to talk to his girlfriend and not me. My son is really starting to open up to her.

My son is finally saying that he is very much like me. Starting to recognize that he probably has a mental illness like me. He says as much as he does not want to admit it. I wished so much that none of my kids would have this. I hope that my two grandchildren don't have it.

This is probably getting off the subject. I spoke to my sister on the phone today. Her, myself and my other siblings (we were six kids in the family) realized that my Mother had mental problems. My sister said that my Mother was wierd. That hurts. I shouldn't take it personally. She does not understand mental illness nor does she try.

Probably some of you on this forum who suffer from a mental illness also have children or relatives or friends with a mental illness. I worry about my son so much. (Worry about my other kids and grandchildren too). How do you handle this?


General Discussion / How is everyone doing this summer
« on: July 28, 2017, 12:59:55 PM »
Hi everyone, How is everyone doing?

Peace how is it going with you?

Paul have you found a new place to live. Is your internet doing any better?

Stenacron man how are things going with you. Peter how are you doing?

Sorry if I have left anyone out. Always interested in how people are doing.


General Discussion / radical acceptance
« on: July 28, 2017, 11:24:58 AM »
Hi everyone
I am having a very hard time accepting the fact that I can't do things like I used to. This is due mainly because of age and health. I talked about this with my caseworker (visits me every few weeks to see how I am doing mentally - works with my pdoc who I see but less frequently).

She mentioned radical acceptance. I had never heard this term before. I looked it up on the internet. I guess it means accepting something you can't change and moving on. For example I love gardening. I look out at my garden and become very frustrated. I can't take care of it the way I used to. I would like to do many things to it to make it look good. If I do it tires me out so much that I can't function well for the rest of the day. If my family comes unexpectly on that day it is very difficult to visit with them because of tiredness.

I feel very unhappy about the things I can't do anymore. Lots of things. Not just gardening. I start to have many negative thoughts about the things that didn't go well in my life.  I have been having very unpleasant dreams which I remember in the morning.

Has anyone heard of this term: radical acceptance? Can anyone identify with the feelings that I am having as to more limitations as to what they can do?


I was trying to visit with my two daughters yesterday. I got really, really angry at them. They were both on their cell phones looking up information, on facebook, etc.

I know there was another issue underneath the anger I felt with my girls. I spoke earlier in my post about my son who is separated from his wife and her brother committed suicide. I knew the deceased and his family well. We camped with them.

I was trying to talk myself into going to the visitation yesterday afternoon to support my son and grandchildren. I felt guilty. I saw my son's ex earlier that day and I told her I was very sorry about her brother's death. I told her how close I had been to suicide one time. Not to blame herself nor should her family. Her brother was in so much pain and considered himself worthless and a burden to his family. She asked if their was any grievance conselling and I said the funeral home could provide that.

I think I am so upset because it is bringing back all the times when I was extremely depressed and had suicidal ideas. One suicidal sttempt but a cry for help. And another upsetting thing is that the deceased is having visitation and service at the funeral home where my late husband's funeral was. More memories and how much I miss him. I can't seem to stop crying.

I feel like a hypocrite. The deceased was very mentally ill like I have been in the past. I just can't seem to accept his immature and spoiled behaviour. Very disrespectfull (can't seem to spell properly), immoral actions, bragging, very loud and full of himself. Behind all this a very low self esteem.  These behaviors are the very opposite to the way my family things. The parents enabled this. I don't have much respect for the whole family. I believe I am now being very judgemental.

My daughters tell me I should forget about how that family acts and not worry about it. Of course, worried about the influence they have on my grandchildren. My daughters, my son and and I  with love and care for them and will  instill as much as possible for them to be moral and  to treat people the way they would want to be treated. My youngest daughter makes this statement all the time.

Well it is time to start thinking positive again and move on. I know I am not supose to apologize for the long post. Thanks for reading it.


General Discussion / Received a real shock today
« on: February 25, 2017, 12:15:03 AM »
This morning I was sleeping in bed and I heard the key in my front door. I thought it was my daughter coming home saying she was not needed at work. It turned out to be my son and my two grandchildren. My granddaughter was crying. My son said something bad had happened. I didn't know what but it sounded very serious. It scared me.
My son told me that his ex.'s brother had taken his own life.
Apparently my son found out that he had been depressed for awhile and was getting psyciatric help next week. Unknown to my son his girlfriend broke up with him around Christmas.
The man that took his own life was living with his parents. He was previously in jail for 3 months. He was dealing drugs and lost his driver's licence. His mother found him.
I knew this man. I have mixed feelings about him passing.  He was not a nice person. He made fun of my grandchildren and made my granddaughter cry. They didn't particularly like him. There are no words to describe what his parents and sister are feeling though and I feel for them. This was my grandchildren's uncle.
I am not trying to lay the blame on anyone. I guess maybe I am. His parents enabled him. They gave him no direction. They let him do things and never questioned it.
I feel that we must protect my grandchildren. I don't know if I am using the right words for this tragic happening. Am I a hypocrite? He must have been very sick mentally. Am I judging him?
I don't know if I am making sense. I am only thinking of my grandchildren and how it is effecting my son.
I must say if I knew he was that mentally ill I would have tried to help him to get him the medical care he needed. There is going to be a lot of guilt feelings. His ex. girlfriend talked all day to him off and on the day before. He kept saying he was going to commit suicide.
Please tell me if you think I have no feelings.
I am very mixed up about this happening. I do feel very badly about this man taking his own life. I think I am contradicting myself. I do care. It has not sunk in yet. I would give the world to have him back for his own sake and for his mother, father, sister and friends.
My daughters and I took care of my grandchildren today. My grandson doesn't understand. My granddaughter does somewhat.
This is striking very close to home. If only someone could have helped him.


General Discussion / how is everyone doing?
« on: February 10, 2017, 03:57:50 PM »
Hi everyone,

Just wondering how everyone is doing. It is snowing here right now. I am looking at planning some camping trips. This helps a little to combat the winter time blues.
On the whole I am doing okay. Always thinking about my big kids- 35, 37 and 40 years old and my two grandchildren.
Always a joy to watch my grandson at hockey games (he is 7 yrs. old) and my granddaughter (10 yrs. old) and grandson at swimming lessons.
I guess I am just going with the flow of life. Sometimes you try to plan everything in your life. As I have found out that doesn't work. I guess that is okay.


General Discussion / I am not pleased with my family doctor - any advice
« on: January 27, 2017, 12:35:16 PM »
Hi everyone,
I am not at all happy with the treatment that my family doctor gives me nor the care she has given my daughter.

I suffer from bipolar II and other health problems. In hindsight I know that I suffered from bipolar mental illness since the age of 12. I was diagnosed at age 30. I am now 66. It has been a long journey. For the most part I am now stable. Some of the drugs I was on have left me with health problems. I see a psychiatrist. Due to my diabetes and having been on lithium for years I am now seeing a kidney specialist  for chronic kidney disease, an eye specialist, diabetes specialist . I have seen a neurologist to test my nerve function. I have had a heart stress test. Many other tests.

My family doctor has been good in referring me to specialists for my health problems. I have been sent to a kidney specialist a little late. She could have picked up on my creatinine (pardon my spelling) level much sooner. I had a physical done by her and she hardly did anything.

My daughter was in a car accident. She hurt her back, arms and her left knee very badly. My eldest daughter and I took her to emergency where she had x-rays done. The doctor told her she needed physiotherapy for her knee. My daughter followed up with the family doctor. She didn't even examine my daughter. The doctor just wrote down, whiplash, hurt knee, etc. My daughter went back to her and at urging from my daughter sent her for an aultra-sound of her knee. There was a problem and her doctor never got back to her and the physiotherapist had to fax for the results. My daughter went back to her GP and reguested an MRI which she is getting.

I feel that the family doctor is not treating my daughter and I properly. We have had her for 26 years. I think it is time to change doctors. Should my daughter do it after she has the MRI.

I am not sure if I should change doctors since I have so many specialists looking after me. If I changed I would have to go through my whole life history. Would I be able to keep the same specialists that I have? Finally I have found specialists that are very good.

Any advice would be helpful.


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