These have been around for a while but I still enjoy them. Take Care. paul m
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Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the Doctor.
A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. "Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!"
"That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?"
"I was talking to my barber," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me!"
" A Barber" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously. "How did he cure you?"
"Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed."
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An engineer and a psychiatrist meet up for their 20th college reunion.
The engineer says, "I'm surprised to see you still looking so young. I'd have thought listening to people's problems all day would have given you a mass of wrinkles."
The psychiatrist says, "You think we listen?"
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This one might not be funny, but it may be true....
Professional Opinion is Always Best
A psychiatrist met an old patient and exclaimed, "I heard you died. "
"But you see I'm alive ," smiled the ex-patient.
"Impossible," said the psychiatrist. "I was told you'd died by a colleague who's had 22 peer-reviewed papers published, so his opinion's bound to be much more reliable than yours."
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This one might not be funny, but it is true. LOL.
Student Talking to the Wise Man
"Sir, What is the secret of your success?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"And how do you make right decisions?"
"One word."
"And, What is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Wrong decisions."
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A few of my own
Anyone who sez that marriage is a 50-50 proposition, just doesn't understand fractions
I have come to realize that my wife is not bossy, she just knows exactly what I shoulf be doing at any given moment.
Does anyone have a repair manual for a 17 yr old teenager, mines developed a terrible whine.
Words were flying between my wife and I the other night. The cat jumped up on the table and knocked over the scrabble board.