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General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« Last post by paulm on August 12, 2017, 01:25:55 AM »
 Hello Dragonfly. The kidney foundation(CKF) is a good place to start.  A very short course on dialysis is there are 3 different kinds, although not all doctors are up on this. The main type used is the common dialysis where you go to a hospital or special unit and get hooked up to a machine 3 times a week for about 4 hrs each time. The second type is basically the same as the first, but you do it at home and in some cases you do it every night while you sleep.

 However to do it at home, means that you need someone living with you to help you out .

 The third option, is also done at home , but you do not need a machine.It's called peritoneal dialysis  Basically you have a tube implanted in your side and you run fluid into the tube (via gravity or a small machine) and then 4-6 hrs later let it run back out again and then repeat.  With this method you have to do it every day, but you can do it while talking on the phone or talking to people in person. You can even travel or visit your family etc etc as the equipment is just a bag that you hook up and is portable. Many people feel less tired doing it this way because your blood is always being cleaned 24/7.

 My father-in-law had this method for many yrs and it worked well. I have included a link to the CKF and to their dialysis page as well as to their peritoneal dialysis page. There are pluses and minuses to each type.
General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« Last post by Dragonfly on August 11, 2017, 02:52:37 PM »
Thank you Stenacron man and Paul for your support. It means a great deal to me. I always feel better after I have posted here.
 I hope Paul that your move in September will be smooth and not too difficult and you will settle in well with your wife.

My GP sent me to a physiotherapist for my wrist. He suggested I could try a brace. It only made my wrist feel worse. I did some physio. It didn't help much. Two of my doctors suggested it could also be arthritis. I have decided I will just have to live with it.

I have appointments with my pdoc, diabetic specialist and kidney specialist next month, September. I am going to write down a lot of questions to ask each one of them.

I would like to know more about dialysis. It is difficult to talk to the kidney specialist about everything. He is a very busy man and has only so much time. He is brilliant, caring and understanding. One of the best doctors I have ever had. I wonder if there is someone I could talk to about dialysis and kidneys. Maybe someone from the kidney foundation. I don't want to rely on the internet for all my answers. Does anyone have any ideas? I am the type of person that would like to know my options instead of ignoring the whole situation.

I am very fortunate that I have the support of my family, friends and the medical professionals. I especially enjoy my grandchildren. Besides the two of them I have aquired another one. A daughter from my son's girlfriend. I try to stay positive and live day by day.

I am going to be off the internet for awhile. I need some things done to my computer. Will get back on as soon as I can.

Take care everyone.


General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« Last post by paulm on August 11, 2017, 01:58:19 AM »
Hello Dragonfly. You are certainly going through a lot.  As our health declines and our circumstances change it is often hard for anyone to maintain a sunny disposition. However try and keep after both your GP and your pdoc.  Has your GP suggested a wrist and/or hand brace? You may already wear one, but if you don't they can really help sometimes.

 You may also want to learn more about home dialysis for when the time comes.(there are two different ways it can be done at home.)

 I'm sure that it is depressing and frightening to have to look at the possibility of an apt or a seniors home. Good Luck with all of your decisions and Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« Last post by Stenacron man on August 09, 2017, 10:55:27 PM »

 I am speechless wish I could help. I am happy you have your children and community.

Buddy Mack. 
General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« Last post by Dragonfly on August 09, 2017, 11:48:16 AM »
I am trying to think of the right words to use to describe my feelings.

My health is deteriorating. I suffer from chronic kidney disease. Only have 29% function. My kidney specialist tells me that I will end up needing dialysis. I am an insulin dependent type 2 diabetic. I suffer from bi-polar 2. I have accepted these health problems for the most part. I realize I have limitations due to them.

Now my limitations have increased. I no longer drive. I had 4 incidents where I could have created a major accident. I certainly do not want to hurt anyone.  I would say that I am having problems focusing and with my concentration. I have developed tendonitis in my right wrist. I have to be careful not to do repetitive things and certainly lifting. I have neuropathy in my hands and feet. My energy is less than it was before due to my health. Of course, I am getting older too. I am still living in my house by myself. I do get help with the yardwork, cleaning in my house. My kids are very helpful and supportive. I suppose it will get to the point were I will have to move to an apartment or retirement home. That frigthens me. I have lived in my survey for many years. I know my neighbors. I speak to them often when I am outside. We look out for each other.

Yes all these facts are depressing me to a certain extent. I have mentioned these feelings to my caseworker and pdoc. They don't say too much. They are trying to keep me optomistic.

It sounds like my life is not very good. That is not true. I have much to be thankful for.

I know I am not suppose to apologize for my complaints. I do feel bad about complaining. I know other people have problems too.

Dragonfly          I am having a hard time posting this.
General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« Last post by Dragonfly on August 09, 2017, 11:15:14 AM »
Peace, thank you for being so perceptive. The loss of my brother-in-law has triggered thoughts of my late husband.

Peter, glad you are feeling better in the last while.

momfeelinglost, your new hobby sounds very interesting.

Paul, I am glad that you have found a place to live. It must be a challenge to go through your things and to decide what to keep and not keep.

General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« Last post by momfellinglost on August 08, 2017, 04:58:05 PM »
 I am having a busy summer despite the weather being up and down. Started a new hobby Beekeeping. The bees don't care how I feel and watching them work is calming. It does take more work than I thought it would but the reward at the end is very sweet. My garden is not doing as well as it could with the weather.  Joined a group on FB that I thought was a good fit for things that I was objecting too- the price of power but it hasn't worked out the way I had hoped and now I need to figure out what to do not only with my objections but my time.
General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing this summer
« Last post by paulm on August 08, 2017, 02:10:23 AM »
Hello Dragonfly. My internet is still spotty and I've discovered that several of my neighbours have been complaining to the corporate giant as well, yet the corporate giant keeps telling me that I'm the only one complaining in my area. The worse part about it is they don't seem to care when you point out the facts to them. They do make nice cooing noises and offer rebates on service, but only after a lot of headaches.

 Yes we do have a place to live and will be moving in early Sept. Right now we are trying to figure out what has to go as we've accumulated a lot of junk in 31 yrs, plus we are only going to have about have the size to deal with. Not a major problem, just a time consuming one trying to decide what to save and what goes.

  Sorry to hear about your sis-in-laws husband. Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Re: radical acceptance
« Last post by paulm on August 08, 2017, 02:01:33 AM »
Hello Dragonfly. Some behaviours we have to accept as we age or are disabled by mishap or illness, however that doesn't always mean that we have to completely accept our new plight.

 In regards to your garden, you may no longer be able to keep it looking like it once did and I'm sure that is frustrating, but perhaps you can try researching different ways to garden.

 Neither my wife nor I can garden very well these days, but after studying some I found that by putting wood chips down you can eliminate a lot of weeding and they help the soil to retain moisture, they even come in decorative colours. We also plant more bushy plants, like sweet peas and Flock Flowers that come up every yr and fewer plants that have to be replanted. If you can have your son build you a trestle ,morning glories are nice and once they start yo grow they tend to shade out the weeds and they self seed so all you have to do is hook the stringers onto the trestle once they get going.

 However I suspect that your post is more about frustrations, having a difficult time during periods of your life and lost opportunities in general than about flowers. Plus of course you are probably lamenting the lack of enjoyment and relaxation that you used to get by tending to your garden on a daily basis.

 Everyone has some wish that things had gone differently at some time during their life, however as you know we cannot change the past. We can regret it and mourn the past, but we can't change it. There are a zillion things that I wished that either had gone differently in my past and/or that I had done differently, but I can't change that.

 I can look at things differently though and realize that as bad as my life was at times, it wasn't as bad as some people's. I can also try and alter my present so that I can enjoy it more. I won't always be successful , but I do try.

 I'm sure that you try too. Perhaps you should try and talk to your doctor again about your dark moods and your lack of energy. The doc may tell you that you are getting older. but dark moods and lack of energy are certainly two symptoms of depression.  Having unpleasant dreams can also be symptomatic of the onset of many illnesses or they can be episodes of post traumatic stress coming to the surface , as can lack of energy and dark moods.

 Plus there is nothing wrong with us venting out some of our frustrations, both past and present. Sometimes it's even good for us.  I hope that you find a way to feel better again. Take Care. paul m.

 P.S. to all. The phrase radical acceptance is not new, although it is popping up again.  As Peter said it was(is) used as part of DBT which was developed in the 80's . The term may date from the 80's , but the Buddhist have been using the basic concept since the 8th century. The simplest explanation of the term radical acceptance that I know of was a prayer from the 1930's era

 "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

  A modified version of the above has been used by AA since the 50's. 

  Three simple lines, very difficult to implement.

General Discussion / Re: MDAO Link - Caring For Someone Living With OCD
« Last post by Stenacron man on August 07, 2017, 05:41:09 PM »
Hi Peace

Nice find and very true.  Just adding to this I am not trying to high-jack the post.

For every bodies knowledge most of this also falls into (OCPD) as well being (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder).  The two condition fallow similar traits. What is in the link is without question correct as a description of true (OCD). If you are a person of (OCD) by diagnosis but are super inflexible about the way things are done and the rules of things like psychics, you are more likely (OCPD) and and or both and you should inquire about a more in-depth diagnosis. Medications for mental health are not generalized like Tylenol, the are chemically engineered for specific dysfunctions. Being on the right med's is the secret.

I have both (OCD) & (OCPD)  so I can say first hand.

Buddy Mack.
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