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General Discussion / Re: jury duty...
« Last post by Dragonfly on January 13, 2018, 09:04:23 AM »
Hi Peter,

Not to worry. I had a questionnaire quite a few years ago. I put that I had a mental illness and was excused from possibly serving.

General Discussion / Re: jury duty...
« Last post by paulm on January 12, 2018, 10:24:03 PM »
 Hello Peter. The stuff that you have may be enough, but a letter from a nurse or doctor would be better.  Good Luck with everything. Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / jury duty...
« Last post by Pleeb on January 11, 2018, 06:26:17 AM »
Got a letter re jury duty in early February.  Actually, this doesn't mean that I'll actually be chosen. (?)

The day after the jury duty, I start a mindfulness course at St. Michael's hospital.

I'm going to tell them via letter I can't go because of the course.  Also, the course is important for me, as I've been taking meds for depression and anxiety (more for depression) forever.

Re proof of the above, I have semi-flimsy proof like my medications record from my pharmacy, but it only goes back a year.  I also have an appointment card that mentions the time and date of the course.

If need be, I guess I could get a letter from my nurse p or Dr.

Family, Friends, and Supporters / Re: Husband won't seek help
« Last post by paulm on January 05, 2018, 10:03:53 PM »
Hello RiverNymph and welcome. Joining a Frap group is certainly a step in the right direction. I can understand both of your positions. When I was really ill, I didn't want to see a psychiatrist as I thought I would end up wearing a label and/or I would be mocked by my friends and/or a whole lot of other things including being turned into a zombie.

 I also understand your frustrations as I have a son who wouldn't get help for a number of years. Plus I nearly drove my wife off of the edge with my own behaviours during my worst years.

 I won't list my bad behaviours when I was ill as it would fill several pages, but if it's any consolation that our worse years were around the 20 yr mark and we have now been together for almost 43 yrs. 

 Like you my wife had to take steps to protect herself and our family, but it did eventually all work out.

 In regards to smoking a lot of pot. I'm not a medical expert but I have talked to a lot of people who used pot and while it certainly does help some, I've never met anyone who smoked a lot of pot and got better(Or drank a lot of booze) . I'm not anti pot or anti booze, both can have benefits, but both are notorious depressants.

 Please ask more questions or use the forum to vent. Trying to help someone get better can be a long and tough journey. Take Care. paul m
Family, Friends, and Supporters / Husband won't seek help
« Last post by RiverNymph on December 28, 2017, 02:10:50 PM »

First post here, so bear with me :)

I believe my husband has long-term depression and some generalized anxiety.  He's been on a slow steady decline for years, since we first met 20 years ago and is no longer very functional in my opinion, including not being able to work much.  He fluctuates from coping ok, to long bouts of anger, quick to frustration, intolerance, etc.  That's where we're at now.  He got so upset during a conversation we were having at lunch that he yelled at me to just fuck off and left the restaurant. His behaviour is sometimes out of control and inappropriate for the situation, like today's was.

I've started getting some help myself to better understand depression, and am hoping to join a WRAP for Families group in the new year. This help has given me a more objective take on his behaviour, some of which I can accept as being driven by his illness and some of which just isn't cool with me (eg today's behaviour). 

My problem is that he won't get any help.  He feels awful, but has no faith in therapy and won't see a psychiatrist.  He won't talk with his doctor about his mental health. He has other health problems that contribute to his mental health (not well controlled hypothyroidism).  Generally he is averse to outside help for health issues.   He does smoke a lot of pot.

I often think about whether I can keep this up.  I'm feeling so torn, because i do still love him. Our relationship is terrible, and i don't feel confident we can fix it on our own.  My guilt is really high right now, because I am suffering too and often want to throw in the towel, but I really honestly believe he is sick.  I've accepted that if he has to choose to get help, so I really don't push it anymore.  I'm working on establishing boundaries to safeguard my own wellbeing, but I suspect that these will only lead to further isolation from each other.   I know I contribute to the relationship problems too, for eg my communication with him is not good, but I'm trying to improve it.

Guess I really just needed a place to vent.  I feel really hopeless right now, and I don't know who else to really talk to.

Thanks and hope you're doing well this holiday season.
General Discussion / Re: Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings
« Last post by Dragonfly on December 24, 2017, 01:25:21 PM »
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

General Discussion / Re: Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings
« Last post by Peace on December 24, 2017, 09:33:52 AM »
Merry Christmas everyone  :)
General Discussion / Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings
« Last post by paulm on December 23, 2017, 11:10:10 PM »
Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings to everyone. I hope that you all can find some way to enjoy at least part of this holiday season. It's been a pleasure corresponding with you all in 2017 and I look forward to doing it again in 2018. Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Re: "Christmas Eve"
« Last post by paulm on December 23, 2017, 11:07:58 PM »
Hello Peter. My wife and I exchange our gifts whenever it's convenient. This yr it was tonight as Christmas Eve we will be traveling and we will spend Christmas day with our sons and their families and I'm too lazy to lug presents 300 km , just to bring them back LOL. Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Re: "Christmas Eve"
« Last post by Peace on December 23, 2017, 07:06:11 AM »
Hey everyone  :)

Very interesting facts Peter and Dragonfly. Thanks for sharing!

Peter, the gift from your nephew sounds perfect.

We started opening our stocking Christmas Eve years ago. We'll also be going to candlelight communion Christmas Eve. My oldest daughter and her boyfriend are sleeping over.

Christmas morning we'll open gifts, then I'm cooking Christmas dinner for me, my um ex-husband (strange situation), two daughters and their boyfriends.

Boxing Day we'll continue the family tradition my dad started 40 years ago and gather at my sister's. Both daughters and their boyfriends will be going to that.

I'm super excited this year that both daughters are staying in town, and their boyfriends will also be attending. They all get along really well.

Merry Christmas  :D
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