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General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« Last post by MARK HEITHORN on February 19, 2018, 04:52:22 PM »
so so. Thinking of changing meds. Currently on 150 mg on Sertraline and 100mgs
of Lamotrigine. Having issues coping with Depression. Can anyone suggest new meds?
General Discussion / Re: Getting help for spouse
« Last post by momfellinglost on February 06, 2018, 11:33:16 AM »
 I wish I had some suggestions to help you find a solution. Make sure you take care of you too. Seeking help for what is happening at home and knowing that it isn't your fault. If you husband has a mental illness talking to your doctor about what is going on could help. It can be hard to admit how you are feeling on his part. He needs to know that there is help if it is a mental illness and he didn't do anything to cause it. Drinking can be used to mask how they are feeling. And I hope that you can find a way to work through this with or with out him living in your home. I hope you will keep coming here and posting this is a very safe place and is filled with some real good people who will help with information.
General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« Last post by Dragonfly on February 05, 2018, 08:31:25 PM »
 Beekeeping seems like a very interesting hobby. Yes, animals do give unconditional love. I have two cats. I can't wait for spring. Then my family and I can go camping again.

 I am so glad that 2018 is starting better for you. Congradulations for the Ontario medal you received for good citizen ship. I am sure you are very proud as you should be.

General Discussion / Re: Getting help for spouse
« Last post by paulm on February 02, 2018, 04:02:58 AM »
Hello Jane and welcome. That's a tough spot that you are in, but you are taking the right steps. One of the problems with trying to diagnose bipolar is that heavy drinking will often hide the bipolar or it can inflame bipolar. That is , bipolar may only become a problem when alcohol is being used.

 While I'm sure that somebody has gotten better while drinking heavily, I've never met anyone who had a serious mental illness and who got well while drinking heavily. (sorry to say)

 In regards to stopping drinking quickly his doctor may be right, but unless your husband is a full fledged alcoholic, there is no reason why he can't slowly cut back over a couple of weeks.

 I'm sorry that I don't have better answers for you,but until your husband is willing to seek it is a difficult situation. You are correct about seeking help for yourself.

 I sympathize with your situation and hopefully his psychiatrist will be able to talk with him. If he does come down from what you suspect is  manic high, that is the time to talk with him. Trying to talk sense to someone who is on a manic high usually only leads to arguments as they don't see any problem with their behaviours. Good luck and Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Getting help for spouse
« Last post by Jane on February 01, 2018, 08:40:34 PM »
Hi everyone,

I found this group while searching for how to get started with a possible bipolar disorder diagnosis for my husband. Our lives have been totally chaotic for the past few months and after reading extensively about bipolar disorder, I am pretty sure that is what is going on. He's also been self-medicating heavily with alcohol.

I scheduled him an appointment with his family doctor and he went but requested that I not be present. I respected that wish but now I'm a little nervous that he only mentioned a stomach issue he has been dealing with. He says they discussed it land that he will get a call from a psychiatrist in three weeks and that she said it was better not to stop drinking cold turkey. He's usually very honest and we have never had problems around this but he really has not been himself at all and I don't think he thinks he has bipolar disorder.

I really could use some advice from someone who has already been through this, either support person or person with bipolar. Is there anything else we can do in the meantime? I'm looking for a psychologist but there are so many and I feel lost trying to find a good fit. I also joined Al-anon family groups hoping to get help for myself. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He is very irritable and speaks terribly to me and about me to our young daughter. He is not participating at all in our family life. He sleeps 3-5 hours in the early morning after work (works nights) then goes out all day to run errands or "help" friends. Then he's off to work. Recently he befriended a guy who bought him a $400+ ticket to a sporting event and a $75 team jersey. He says the guy gambles. So now of course I'm paranoid that that could become a problem too. Money is already a very touchy point for us so I don't even want to bring it up.

I feel like giving up! I'm just nervous about sharing custody with him when he is unwell.

Any advice or a point in the right direction would be appreciated.

General Discussion / Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Last post by paulm on January 31, 2018, 08:50:14 PM »
Hello Momfeelinglost. Unfortunately I have no good suggestions, but I can undertand how difficult this must be for you. Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Re: How is everyone doing
« Last post by paulm on January 31, 2018, 08:47:04 PM »
Hello Dragonfly. I'm doing not to bad. 2017 was a bit of a bummer and it seemed like there were only downs and no ups. However 2017 ended in a good way with the birth of our second grandchild at the end of Dec. 2018 got off too a good start when I rec'd the Ontario medal for good citizen ship from the Lieutenant Governor in a recent ceremony for all of the volunteer duties I have preformed over the yrs.

 I`m glad that you found the MDAO group interesting. Wish your son well for me, I understand that kidney stones can be very painful. Take Care. paul m
General Discussion / Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Last post by momfellinglost on January 31, 2018, 07:18:24 AM »
Thank you for your input. I really don't want to go any route except to ignore but after more than10 years my sibling just isn't getting the message and I am sure I will wait until she does it again before I act but you are right I can't really win no matter what I do. She isn't good for my health physical or mental so I made the choice to remove her from my immediate life and I don't regret that choice at all ( well I do) no one want to stop talking to family unless they see no other way. But I did end up with a better relationship with my other 4 siblings so there is good that has come out of this mess. Again thank you
General Discussion / Re: Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Last post by Peace on January 30, 2018, 10:50:09 AM »
I'm very sorry you have to go through this! You are a very warm, giving person, and do not deserve to be bullied by anyone.

As I was reading your post the very first thought that went through my mind was restraining order, and I still believe that could be the only way, especially if your health is being affected. My only concern with you involving the police is your relationship with people who matter. Don't pay any heed to people who might not see why you're taking this route, if that's the route you choose, they are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. My suggestion is that you let the people who matter, your own family and your sister's family that you want to remain on good terms with, know what your plan is and why you are thinking of seeking the help of the police, before you take the first step. That way they aren't surprised and they fully understand your reasons, that this is affecting your health, prior to police involvement. I'm hoping this could salvage all your relationships with the people who are important in your life, and truthfully they might actually be relieved that you plan to do this.

Just my opinion, please if anyone disagrees with me, I won't be offended at all, I want the very best for momfeelinglost.
General Discussion / Look for suggestions on how to deal with this
« Last post by momfellinglost on January 30, 2018, 09:51:03 AM »
  While most of my life is going well. There is one thing that isn't I have a sibling who has bi-polar and because of how she acted when looking after an estate I found I could keep talking to her. If she could let things go and just move on she is focused on things that didn't happen and this is more than a decade ago. She is used to bullying people to get what she wants but and has sent me messages that are awful but I have ignored them to try and not engage her. So she has now been using social media to try and get at me saying awful things about my adult child, myself  and others. While people have taken them down she has no filter and if she sees people in public will start screaming and yelling at them so I normally go the other way or leave the store to avoid watching her embarrass herself. But I can't keep this up it is effecting my life and while I don't want to have to do it I have told her daughter(we still talk) that if is doesn't stop I will involve the police I don't want to but see no other options as her spouse and children are not able to help and I don't want them to make their lives more difficult. I have talked to her doctor about it and she isn't willing to help. Am I doing the right thing I never want to get the law involved but after more than 10 years dealing with this behavior I just can't take it anymore. Any suggestions would be welcomed even if you want to say that you don't agree with my plan. Thanks
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