Author Topic: Depression  (Read 539 times)

Jean

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Depression
« on: March 14, 2017, 03:19:35 PM »
I'm a parent of a young adult who is bipolar.
At the end of my rope but afraid to say so because this may send my child over the brink.
Tried everything to support and get help.
Tired of being conned out of money and having my heart broken.

paulm

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Re: Depression
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2017, 05:58:23 AM »
Hello Jean. You have some tough issues. I have bipolar and my son has bipolar so I can appreciate how you feel and I can also appreciate some of what your child feels.  I'll admit that I spent many a sleepless night worried about decisions that I made with my son.

 I also caused for a while ceaseless worry to my family and wife because of my illness.

 I can't give you a lot of good tips , but I can give you a few that worked for me. But what worked for me may not work for you. Also I have no medical training. I'm also not trying to make any criticism of you or anyone else. I got lucky we both have survived.  (if you can call having bipolar or having a member of your family having bipolar lucky)

 When it came to money I finally had to lay down the law. You do this and I'll give you this. Fortunately my bluff worked because in no way was I going to let my son suicide if I could help it. Part of the deal was that he had to take certain treatments.

 I also had a deal with him where he could call me at any time and I would always listen without criticism, that doesn't mean that I would agree with what he said, just that I wouldn't criticize him.

 I also had to remind myself that when he was displaying manic behaviour it would do little good to try and talk about his illness as he just wouldn't listen when he was manic(most people with bipolar have the same problem.

 The only time that he would listen to sense was when he wasn't manic or really depressed and it wasn't always easy to talk at those times.

  The MDAO has a guide on helping someone.  https://www.mooddisorders.ca/guide/guide-to-helping-someone-with-a-mood-disorder  It may give you ideas and help than I've been able to here.

 Having lived through bipolar, I know that it was never my intention to break anyone's heart, although for a while I did so repeatedly. Nor was it my son's intention to cause my wife and I as much agony as he did. It's the nature of the illness and nobody suffers more than the person with bipolar. I know that I positively loathed myself at times because of some of my behaviours that I was unable to change until I got the proper help.

 I know that in our son's cause he didn't want to take treatment with a psychiatrist because he had lost all faith in the medical system.  I know that neither one of us intended to cause others that much pain.

 One final suggestion, assuming that your son has been diagnosed with bipolar, try asking him why he doesn't want to get proper treatment.  I know I haven't answered your questions directly, but please feel free to ask more. Thx and Take Care. paul m

Daniel F

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Re: Depression
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 08:55:51 AM »
The Family Matters team has developed a comprehensive guide for family members, friends, and supporters of individuals experiencing mood disorders and related issues. The Family Matters Guide for Families is an informational tool designed to give people a sense of grounding and an understanding of issues related to mental health and recovery. In addition, the guide provides resources that family members may found useful in supporting themselves and their families during difficult times. A digital version of the guide is available free of charge and can be accessed here: https://indd.adobe.com/view/93357642-cd4e-408e-a483-a1e54f4216a8