Author Topic: Bipolar II and triggers  (Read 1389 times)

Heather

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Bipolar II and triggers
« on: May 20, 2015, 10:53:09 AM »
My daughter has bipolar II and I am a trigger. What do I do? This is devastating news for me.

paulm

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Re: Bipolar II and triggers
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2015, 11:06:31 PM »
Hello Heather. I'm sure that it is devastating news. I can't speak for anyone else but myself, but I have bipolar and so does my son and we both can trigger each other. It doesn't mean that either of us is a bad person, it just means that we can set each other off.

 Usually I'm the bigger offender. As a parent I care about my son and especially as someone who has bipolar, I can really get on his nerves for a lot of reasons.  Mostly it's unwanted advice or caring too mush. We've worked out a system over the yrs where we get along really well this days, but there is still the occasional blow up.

 I find my worst habits are, in no particular order: Asking too many questions, suggesting too many solutions, being too concerned and a host of other things that parents do.

 For example he will once in a long while ask for a couple hundred dollars (like once a yr or less) to pay some expenses. Now it has already injured his pride to ask Dad for money, I can very easily compound that by saying something simple like. "why do you need the money" or worse yet "how come you didn't budget for that".  For a normal person it is no big deal, but for someone with bipolar who is managing their life as well or better than can be expected, me asking questions is a sure fire way to trigger him. So I try and say sure no problem, do you mind if I ask you why and if he answers fine and if not fine. 

 My wife , who is one of the most caring people in the world, can also trigger him but smothering him in concern and asking motherly questions.  Each family has to take their own steps to find out how to handle a loved ones illness. And it is an illness, one that isn't fully understood even today, so sometimes finding answers can be difficult.  I hope this answers some of your questions, but please don't hesitate to ask ore. You may find additional, answers by going to the Mood Disorders Assoc Of Ont website and going through it. Take Care. paul m

momfellinglost

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Re: Bipolar II and triggers
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2015, 10:00:44 PM »
 I too am the mom of a Bi-polar child and yes I can be a trigger and mostly because I am the mom doing mom things. this doesn't mean that you can't  be together or that there isn't a way to learn to be less of (and I don't want to say trigger) but don't have the right word. But as you child goes down the road of learning to cope with their mental illness things will change. The medication that your daughter takes will change the way she sees things. You will learn more about mental illness than you thought you could. I will encourage you to join at the very lest some place like this. The people who are on these boards are so full of info, humor, and caring with out the kinds of fighting you often see on other boards. I come here often my child doesn't it isn't right for him at this stage in his life. He know me and how I feel about taking care of himself both mental and physical side of his life. As parents we want to fix things but with kids as they get older they want  less of it. It can work in fact it can make your life with her better. Communication for me is the key, be ready to listen sometimes with out offering any advise sometimes with out judgement and most of all with out getting too upset (the hardest part) I hope you will keep coming back and posting the general board does get more post and activity.

 Take care